Month: February 2012

The Happiness Update

As February quickly comes to a close, much faster than I anticipated, it’s time for me to do a little reflection. The year started off a bit rocky, but once I got into (sort of) the rhythm of school and work balancing, everything outside of those two things seemed to fall more into place. That’s not to say things have been easy so far, because they haven’t been. Not even close. Stress and worry have been at a super level, but on the flip side of that, I’ve been so blessed to have comfort, joy and even a little relaxation.

Under no circumstances have my goals been easy to achieve, nor have I done them all perfectly. Hell, some of them I’ve barely done at all. But in my head, that’s ok. It’s just part of the process… learning what works and what doesn’t in my hectic life. With that being said, here’s the rundown of my goals and how well I have done so far:
– Be authentic- My overall goal- I’ve really come to accept my limitations and my strengths, as well as the fact that I’m ok being the odd bird and I embrace it.
– Outside chaos is inside chaos: declutter, organize, clean- My wonderful man has really helped out with this, since, I’m just too busy and rushed all the time to keep up with this task. He’s been amazing at helping me around the house and even organizing my messy desk for me. I’m so grateful for his support and help, especially in this area.
– Practice makes perfect, do it until it’s right: learn a new skill- I think my skill that I’m trying to master is a combination of patience and acceptance. I have been playing the hurry up and wait game for several weeks now with a few things and it’s taken a unbelievable amount of patience to not completely flip out or cave under the stress. Acceptance because I’m having to accept that I cannot control every aspect of certain situations. These have been very trying, but I’m getting there.
– 15 minute miracles: A.M. yoga, meditation P.M. talking, cleaning- These have been tough to get going too. I’m either running around super busy, or collapsing on the couch in an effort to see my love for a few minutes before bed. Yoga hasn’t happened… not more than once. I’m really sad about that, but I’ve tackled my trouble with meditation. I’ve decided that I was going about it all wrong and took a different view. I need to go back to that “Be Authentic” thing and realize that while unconventional, like myself, my choice of meditation is also. It’s not an everyday meditative practice, and that’s ok too. But the days that I get to skate, is all I need to get me through the rest of the week. Last weekend was a prime example. Skating was perfect. (I play roller derby). Talking with my honey has proven to be exactly what we need to reconnect and revive our tired connections. We don’t spend every single day chatting in our room, but most days we at least mute the tv and have a few minutes of “quality” time talking about our days or nothing important at all. It’s been really great. And finally, I’ve discovered that cleaning at night, even for 15 minutes on a regular basis, is impossible. It’s got to be in the morning when I first get up, or it’s just not happening. :)
– Look good, feel good: dress for success- So, I’m still rocking the tee shirts and jeans. But I have made it a point to buy better jeans and wear more sweaters that cover my punk rock band shirts. I’ve tried to incorporate things like scarves to my wardrobe too… dress up my everyday wear just a little.
– Meditate in a way that works for me: try different techniques- I’ve heard everything can be meditative. I believe this to a point. There’s no part of cleaning the cat litter box that strikes me as peaceful, but to each their own. I have however, found that my morning routine is quite nice though. The house generally quiet as the dogs are slowly waking up, putting together my coffee pot and creating my daily smoothie… very good for clearing the mind. Also, writing has really helped with not only my search for meditation, but also lowering my stress level on several occasions.

Anyway, that’s my rundown as the month creeps to a close. I’m excited for March to come in so I can start to focus on some new things, gain new insight and maybe even a new skill. We shall see! <3

( The above picture from: http://www.daniellemhayes.com/goals-safe-scary/)

 

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The universe is sometimes against us

I have decided that life is not about just seeking happiness and making it to the proverbial finish line, but it’s also a series of tests to see if we’ve learned anything along the way, peppered with randomness and a nice helping of karma.

It’s hard to change old habits, I’m as good an example of this as anyone, but I’ve got to say it’s MUCH harder when you feel like you’re constantly fighting the flow. Every where you go, there’s this invisible force constantly pushing back on you. The harder you fight, the more tired you become. The worst part is that you can clearly SEE your goals and they are just out of reach.

It’s even harder to truly change when you’re stretched thin as it is. In this modern world there are intense pressures: work, school, families, taxes, traffic, bills, uncertainty… and then when you are working towards a goal, having everything imaginable pushing you back from that goal, makes it that much harder. It’s defeating. But what can you do? Give up? Never try in the first place? What would be the point in living, if you’re never striving for anything? You’d be like a stick in the sea… just floating along, never going against the current. How boring would that be?

Seeking and striving for goals is what helps make life worth living, but it’s hard to maintain when it seems that everything in the universe is against you. There’s a lesson in there somewhere, maybe it’s to change your attitude about the experience or tweaking the process, but there’s got to be something to learn from it, right?

 

( Above image from http://thebeautifullstruggle.tumblr.com/)

 

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Manufactured “Holidays”

I just wanted to drop a quick post today about something that I find irritating.

Now, I understand that today is a “holiday”, mainly created by greeting card companies and makers of decadent snacks to get us, consumers, to do just that… consume. Don’t get me wrong, I love, love. I love heart filled sentiments and a good bit of dark chocolate… however, I don’t like feeling pressured on literally every street corner to buy something (usually a stuffed animal surrounded by candy, wrapped in plastic with balloons).

I also would like it if my single friends wouldn’t be inundated with “love” stuff that makes them feel bad about being unattached. I often think some of them feel bad enough as it is, without the extra obligation.

At the same time… I realize that some people need a reminder to do something nice for others, like around the Winter holidays, donating money or time to charity… I get it. We all have incredibly busy lives and we need reminders of things sometimes. I’m just as guilty of forgetting stuff, even stuff that I WANT to do. But I’m sorry, I cannot believe that there are people in this world, in relationships… that are generally jerks and think that somehow, if they buy something for their partner, all is forgiven. BAH! Insane.

A radio commercial that made me laugh yesterday is as follows “You can get the most romantic movie of the year “Twilight Breaking Dawn and maybe some flowers and a bottle of wine, and afterward… it’s happy Valentine’s day to you”

Wow. There are so many things wrong with that, I barely know where to start. The one thing I’ll point out though is that if you buy your lady something… you’re getting lucky tonight. That is disgusting. Sorry guys, we aren’t all like that. I’d say the vast majority are not like that. There’s your reality check.

My point is not only is our society stigmatized into buying stuff, we’re also nudged into putting out on a specific day of the year. Strange. Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, I will admit that I bought my honey a card. However, I was out shopping with a friend and I happened to see it as I walked by a small card rack in the store. I gave it to him, not for a holiday, but because it was one of the first cards that said exactly what I wanted it to (more on that another time). It was given to him days before today and I even mentioned to him that it was because I was thinking of him, which is why I got it. And, it is part of a line that’s designed by high school students in art classes, encouraging artistic expression. Plus, it has robots holding hands. Adorable.

So, in closing, I want to say again… I don’t hate love, candy or sweet words/ gestures. I do find today and the obligation of consumerism annoying. But, being able to live through it breeds happiness, right?

Thanks for reading!

(Above image from: http://frillsandthrills.blogspot.com/2011/02/happy-anti-valentines-day.html)

 

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The way to happiness….

I read a quote today that struck my sleepy brain like lightening. And here’s what it said:

“There is no way to happiness; Happiness is the way”- Thich Naht Hanh

  Here’s the light bulb that went off in my head. Now, I know this might sound overly
“Buddhist” or whatever, but part of me thinks that this is one of those meditative curiosities, like “what’s the sound of one hand clapping?” However, the other part (the larger part) believes truly that one can be happy in their regular, daily life. I know it’s true. Great scholars and thinkers and inventors and Saints have all made references to happiness and how to get there, but Thich Naht Hanh as I know that The Dalai Lama, have devoted decades of teaching to this very thing.

With that being said, I can also achieve more happiness in my regular, daily life. I don’t have to seek out joy. I need to BE the joy. Be the light, the happiness and be it every day. I’m driving myself nuts in the minutiae of feeling guilty that I don’t do yoga like I want to everyday and I’m riddled with clutter. Yes, those things make me nuts and I’m striving to improve them, but they are not the “source” of my happiness or unhappiness. I am.

3

A little lacking and a bit of slacking…

I took a look at my project outline this morning and I realized that I’ve not exactly been doing so well. I’ve been trying to do my 15 minute miracles, and most of the time I manage to get one in a day. Usually talking with my honey or cleaning the kitchen. I’ve really been struggling with the overall premise for these months… being authentic. I know who and what I am, however, I’m having trouble balancing other people’s expectations of me with my authenticity. 

Everyone around me and everyone else, whether or not they know it, have expectations of the others around them. Parents, kids, pets, partners, employers… It’s constant. Finding that place where I can be myself and be what everyone around me wants is much harder than I anticipated. I feel as if I’m constantly letting someone down, me or someone else. But everyday I’m plugging away trying to find that happy/medium where I can live with myself and others want to live with me in their lives.

Here’s a recap of my goals this month and last:

~Right Effort and Right Meditation
Be authentic
Outside chaos is inside chaos: declutter, organize, clean
Practice makes perfect, do it until it’s right: learn a new skill
15 minute miracles: A.M. yoga, meditation P.M. talking, cleaning
Look good, feel good: dress for success
Meditate in a way that works for me: try different techniques

 

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