Month: May 2012

Happiness is…

To me, the simple things in life are true happiness. Here are some of my favorites:

The calm of dawn when the world is just waking up.

The purr of a sleepy cat.

The perfect downward dog performed by a stretching pup.

The bashful smile of a little kid who is shy but also happy to see you.

The cool breeze as I water the garden.

A nice, long, hot shower.

Stretching.

The first sip of hot coffee.

Clothes straight out of the dryer.

The first bite of chocolate cake.

Talking with others about everything and nothing.

Seeing the pets waiting for you as you come in the door.

My car starting, stopping and doing all the things it does to get me places.

A long hug.

Quietly reading a book in the sunshine.

A good white wine.

A cold glass of water on a hot day.

A good meal.

These are just some of my favorite, happy, simple things. Please comment to share yours! Thank you for reading.

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Happiness in various forms

I’ve been in one of those introspective moods this week and I’ve been heavily considering aspects of the world around me, thank you auto-pilot at work.

Anyway, I decided to start reading a book that my dad sent me about finances and getting out of debt. Now, I’m not in a particularly large amount of debt, relatively. I’ve got student loans that I’m going to have to start paying next year, a mortgage and a small amount of credit. However, financial security is something that I’ve wanted and until fairly recently, I had. In the last year, I’ve gone from living well within my means to having a couple of credit cards, which I’ve not had since I was an irresponsible teenager, and a home purchase added to the scheme of things.

I consider myself a fairly educated person about money and finances. I lived for many years with nothing more than a checking/savings account and my incoming paychecks to fall back on. I learned, be it the hard way, at a young age that I could not rely on credit or “creative financing” to live. I had to shop and spend smart. Being woefully unemployed and a student for some time, I had to learn to live on literally, a pittance. My student loans will be hell to pat back due to that, but the payments are such that I can pay them at this point.

Reading this book has brought to mind that knowing the difference between “want” and “need”, as well as living well below my means is a key factor to happiness and reduction in stress over bills. I really enjoyed not worrying about when things were due, juggling payments and fretting over my cash flow. I got paid when I got paid and I’m know to be the person that can literally go months without spending the money in my wallet.

I know what it is to live simply. I enjoy living modestly and feeling confident in my abilities. Lately, that’s been a little more difficult and uncertain. That has created a lot of undue stress. The house is modest as is the payment. Much lower than the rental property that was sucking the finances dry. Of course, buying a house depleted the modest savings account and having my old car totaled didn’t help any.

My point is this, happiness is such a dynamic thing in this life. Finding little glimmers of it in daily things or having peace of mind over one’s finances are true happiness. I don’t need a big fancy house, I’m good with the fixer-upper that has soul. I don’t need a new car or even a nice car, my older, slightly worn out VW works just fine… not only that, it suits me and my needs. I don’t need the newest and greatest this or that. I don’t particularly like eating out very much, too much work and too many questions I have to ask. I don’t have expensive hobbies, it could be expensive, but again I don’t need to have the newest and greatest things for that either. I find peace in that simplicity. That is one of the things that make me happy. Simplicity. If only everything were so uncomplicated… this happiness project would be over. :)

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Murphy and the Law

Everyone knows about Murphy’s Law, right? Such is my life, but in regard to the happiness project, “wrong” isn’t the right word. It’s more like, ridiculous or better yet… late. I say this because I’ve given myself two months to “perfect” the allotted goals, right? Well, the Universe has decided that I need to keep going back to other goals. This normally wouldn’t be an issue, but how am I supposed to watch what I say when so many things are happening all at once?

Which brings me to my point: Last month I aimed to meet new people that had similar interests or values to myself. Didn’t meet a single new person. The last couple weeks, met at least two that are really cool and I’d like to hang out with. They have qualities that are really great. One is intellectually intriguing and the other shares my quirky sense of humor (and sometimes ups the ante). Of course, surely they each have other qualities, but I’m getting to know them and I’m enjoying it.

Also, we are lessening the suffering all over the front yard in the last week or so at the house. There are a pack of stray cats and they’ve taken a liking to our porch and the cat food we’re compelled to give them. They’re safe and fed/watered. We cannot afford to take them all to the vet or anything, so food, water and safety is what we can do. There’s a lesson in there. I have to accept what the limitations are and be ok with that.

Anyway, that brings me to the introspective part of my post. You can opt out now if you wish. :)  Consider yourself warned. I was talking with someone at work today and they were questioning how important common interests are in relationships. I’m going to expand that idea into friend relationships too… but having things in common, at least to me is relatively important. Sharing and enjoying common experiences, that’s something I personally need in my life. Outside of a few specific instances, I’m not finding much in common with those around me. Maybe it’s me? Maybe I’ve got fairly unique tastes in hobbies? I dunno. But either way, Murphy needs to knock it off. I can’t handle the stress. :)

3

A blast from the past (past goals)

Already this year I’ve had goals to end suffering of those around me, and the universe is letting me know, that goal is never fulfilled.
Exhibit A:          And exhibit B:
There is an exhibit C, but she’s rather elusive.

Anyway, these animals have adopted us this week. Exhibit A, whom we’ve named Lewis (as in Jerry Lee, since we already have an Elvis), is incredibly sweet and friendly. He loves to meow and hang around on our front porch. He tries to come inside the house, but since he’s not been to the vet, that’s not happening. We can’t put Elvis at risk of illness, if Lewis has one. We are careful to wash our hands after touching him and all that too. Elvis was here first, so our first responsibility is to keep him safe.

Exhibit B, who is officially nameless, but I like to call Scrappy, is also a sweet boy. He’s dangerously thin and extremely skittish. He’s afraid of Lewis, who just wants to make friends. But I think eventually, they’ll be buddies. Anyway, his fur is all scraggly, dirty and he just looks MESSED UP. My heart goes out to him. We have taken to feeding them because I refuse to let animals die of starvation on my watch. I know that I can’t save them all, but these two landed on our doorstep for a reason and I’ll be damned if I let them suffer. So, today I’m off to buy less expensive food, since we give Elvis expensive food because he doesn’t eat much. But if we’re now feeding the neighborhood, we need to make it affordable.

I hope that Lewis and Scrappy both have healthier lives now that we’re in them. :)

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The Art of Laughter or How Awkward Will Prevail

A little about me: I’m awkward, shy and often say stupid things when I’m nervous or around people I don’t know well. I’m sure there are more people afflicted with this type of, in my opinion, social anxiety. But I think I take it to a whole new level sometimes.

A little more about me: I just started a new job because the place that I was working before shut down due to “budget concerns” or some such nonsense. Anyway, I’m ending my second week at the new place and like it a great deal. Everyone that I’ve met is pleasant and in some cases incredibly nice. Even the owners are super nice and personable.

Several of my coworkers or related (there’s a husband and wife duo and a mother and son, as well as several groups of friends that know one another outside of work). This makes me feel more awkward than usual. Everyone is laughing and joking together most of the day but I feel like I’m missing the joke.

I laugh with my coworkers and we all make jokes that I understand, but as with many people who know each other well, they’ve got a lot of inside jokes and comments that go over my head entirely. So I choose to ignore them. What else can I do?

During a few conversations during lunch and while working we’ve been joking and I have said something that either sounded better in my head, or just didn’t come out right. I instantly know I shouldn’t have said that, and then I dwell. I roll it over and over in my head and create intense anxiety. Saying the right things is not always easy, especially in a new group of people.

I really like my coworkers but find myself feeling more and more awkward. I feel at ease in the work that I do, since I’m already getting compliments on how quick I’ve learned and how much faster I’m going, but I feel ever more uncomfortable socially with the majority of the people I work with. There’s really only one person that I can say I’m not anxious around, and she’s my boss.

So, how does all this play into my “Right Speech” goals this month? Well, first and foremost, I’ve become more introverted amongst my coworkers and unless I have to or unless there’s something funny that I want to say, I find myself not talking at all. I guess there’s a way to make sure nothing bad falls out… just don’t talk. But I’m often very chatty and I really enjoy conversing with others, so this feels inauthentic and still kind of stresses me out. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

Ultimately, I’ve relegated myself to the fact that I’m going to say stupid things that don’t go over well and I’ll likely continue to be ever increasingly awkward. This is just something I must live with I suppose. Such is life. :)

(http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/041302/awkward-twins.gif)

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