Hey there readers of my fledgling little blog, what few of you are left since I fell off the Earth.
I first want to thank you all for sticking with me and the crazy project I’ve had going on here. You stuck with my hairbrained plan, followed me through the ups and downs and I’m glad we made it. Without many of you, I’m not sure that I would have.
As many of you have read through these last 12 months, I have set out very specific goals for myself and a track to get to where I want in life. Not surprisingly, it hasn’t exactly gone the way I’d hoped and it certainly hasn’t gone smoothly. I’ve undergone countless changes within my personal, professional and scholarly lives, only to make it through no worse for ware, on the other side.
Some of the things I’ve learned I never would have imagined, such as my inner strength and my level of patience. However, I also reinforced many traits that I knew I had, such as self determination and hardworking nature. Without those things, I easily would have crumbled. Instead, I was able to stand my ground, complete my goals and while often frayed around the edges, I succeeded. The best part is that I have my loved ones in my camp to support me through it all. I could not have done it without them.
My plan going forward is to continue to write my goals down, perhaps not as structured and specifically this time around, but to also to track my progress. I truly believe that this is what motivates me and keeps me on track. That, and my overwhelming sense of obligation.
Anyway, in closing, thank you for reading and keeping me going this year. See you on the flip side with more craziness and hilarity.
I first want to say that chaos seems to gravitate to me, in pretty much every facet of life, all the time. I can’t catch a break it feels like, but I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s not like this is some new development.
There are some new developments though in this mess that I call reality. Primarily on the work front, things have hit an interesting speed bump. It appears that 7 years is long enough for the head of my department to work for this company and he decided to move on. Everyone wishes him the best, including myself. He is a really great guy and I hope that his future endeavors are just as great. What this means for me is that I’ve officially been tagged, now that I’m done with my Bachelor’s degree, to fill his shoes. Last week was tremendously stressful since I was finishing up my classes and also training to be the boss. Starting tomorrow, I’ll be training a new “me”. Coincidentally enough, I already know her from a mutual friend, even though I had nothing to do with her getting the position. It was purely by chance. Such a small world. But yes, I’ll then be saddled with training a brand new person for 3 days before I go on vacation for 10 days. Craaaaazy. Naturally, I got hustled into chiming in remotely while away. But at least the brunt of the madness will be averted, I hope.
So, my goal of “career or grad school” has taken a slightly different course than what I expected, even from just a few weeks ago. I think I’m going to use this opportunity to see where it takes me and save the debt and chaos of going back to school for a later date. I think I need a nice long break from school anyway. I feel like I’ve been pulled in a million directions for too many years and I’d like to see if I can remember what it’s like to just have one place to be everyday instead of two or three. While my new gig will be slightly more stressful, it’ something that I’ll be able to leave at work and not have to take it home with me. I’ll ignore the fact that I’ll be taking it on vacation… for now.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to the change of pace from academic-while-working life and focusing just on the work aspect for a while.
I have to admit, I’ve been letting the blog fall by the wayside lately and again, I’m sorry for that. However, I have to say that I’ve not in any way lost sight of my project and my goals that I’ve set for myself. Just the opposite really. I’ve been incredibly focused on TCOB… taking care of business.
Last month (I CANNOT believe it’s already December) was SUPER chaotic… one of the craziest this year by far. So many changes, good, bad and somewhere in between. However, this project has truly helped me follow the path that I want for myself, has allowed me to show gratitude, to help others in ways that I never could have thought possible, allowed me to grow and change, determine my boundaries and recognize my limitations. Spending a month listening to my inner voice near the end of this journey was incredibly smart of me, without even knowing it. Had I done it earlier in the year, there’s no way I would have gotten as much out of it. Having gone through everything this year has brought me to this point. I could not be more thankful. November was my time to think and to connect with my inner voice. While I’ve spent a very long time this year doing just that, this time, it was to acknowledge what I was truly feeling. It wasn’t difficult but it was necessary. I spent the month tuning in to my feelings about things and I learned a lot. I was able to see things with clear vision and to realize my boundaries in real time. THIS was incredibly important for November’s goals. Now, I can move on to my “final” set of goals…. Right Livelihood.
~Be stringent with your ethics but determine what’s really important
-Do your homework on potential employers
-Apply yourself to your future- now
-Get a career or get into grad school. Quit stalling.
So now what? Well, as you can read above, I need to figure out what I’m doing with myself. I am literally 3 weeks away from graduation and while I’ve been in college long enough to be a doctor, I’m finally finishing my Bachelor’s degree. I cannot tell you how incredibly stressful it is to be inches from the end and struggling like no other. I have had so much going on that school work hasn’t exactly been the top priority. Sadly, my grades are reflecting this. I’m not giving up without a fight and I’m certainly doing everything I can to ensure my success. However, standing on this cliff has made me realize that I need to figure out what to do now. I’ve never been this close, so I had time… now, notsomuch.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing though, since I am blessed to have a decent job and it’s pretty secure, unless I do something completely stupid and get myself fired, which is unlikely. I’ve also contacted a school about their graduate program and provided I pass this semester, I can actually go there. THAT would be amazing.
Anyway, that sort of explains the “quit stalling” part of my goals this month. I have a job and I have a plan for grad school so that I can be competitive in my field.
The overarching meaning to my goals this month is that I have to determine what is truly important to me and I’ve spent a very long time trying to figure that part out, but so far I have figured out that money is NOT that important. Yes, it makes living much, much easier, but it doesn’t rule my life like many people I know. I appreciate having money and I enjoy the things that money can buy, like food and shelter. But I don’t LIVE to make tons of cash. I live to make an impact on the world. It would also be nice to make a living out of that impact, don’t get me wrong. But I live simply enough to not need a super well paying job.
With that understanding that I don’t need massive amounts of money and I’ve centered my live in such a way that I can live within my means, I have to apply myself to whatever I do. As many of you know by now, that’s not exactly a problem, but career wise, that’s easier said than done. I have no clue how to apply myself to my future career… other than just doing it. I’m not sure that will work in this situation though. It’s going to take some finesse. The research part, I’ve got this… but since I’m staying where I am at this point in my career, it’s less about seeking new employment and about securing my position there and learning everything I possibly can that can help my future career. I need to find as much information and soak it up so that I may use that to my advantage in the future. Thankfully, I have that ability. Right place, right time in this aspect.
Another aspect of Livelihood that I hadn’t really anticipated though, since I wrote all these goals a year ago, was that my job is not my only source of living. The definition of livelihood is this: A means of securing the necessities of life.
What does that mean exactly? There are so many ways of looking at that… I mean, what do I consider necessities? Yes, there’s the usual food, shelter, clothes, air, water kind of stuff. But what else in this life do I need? I am always the person that will go without to make sure that other people have what they need. I have gone without things I need because bills had to be paid, pets needed to eat… you name it. I’m not saying that I’m some sort of saint because I’ve gone without my own necessities because of my overwhelming sense of obligation, or for sympathy… but simply as a point in my case that I really haven’t a clue what I need anymore, outside of the obvious ones.
I know that I don’t need t.v. or cable… tons of money or anything like that. But the things that I do need… no idea. This is going to be the hardest part of of my goals this month. Here goes nothing… or everything. Depending on how you look at it… :)
