Today I am thankful for my kid. She is the light of my life and my reason for living. I know that sounds trite, but I adore her. My husband has been sending me photos and videos of her doing the most hilarious things today. These things have made a very stressful day so much better. I’m grateful that my husband has the notion to share these moments of silliness that they share together with me while am working. I am jealous of him being able to stay with her all day, and I truly feel like I am missing moments in her life that can never be replayed. I’m so thankful that he encourages her to grow and experience things while I am at work, and that he can share them with me. I would give almost anything to be the one that stays home with her, but that’s simply not possible right now. So in the meantime, I get to see her shining face in the evenings and over photos or video. She is developing such an amazing little personality, and I am so thankful to be part of it. More to the point, I’m glad that my husband thinks of me during these times where he could be absent minded or just plain selfish. I am so thankful for both of them being who they are and in my life. Without them, my life would be less full, less interesting, less busy, and less complete. I am grateful for the small moments I have with them both. I am so grateful that I get to watch her sleep in the wee hours, but I’m also thankful on the rare occasions that she wakes up early. I am always late to work those days, but I get to spend moments with her that I could not have had otherwise. I am thankful that I get those moments, even if I’m late and rushing later. My husband is not so thankful when she wakes up early, because he has to wake up early when I have to leave for work.
Day 1- Gratitude Project
Today, and really every day, I’m grateful for my job. I am grateful to be employed, yes. But beyond the fact that I have a steady income to support my family, I actually like my job. I have only been here a short time, but I truly feel appreciated and valued, even though I’m only a contract employee. I’ve been told how valuable I am and how much I am appreciated for the work I do, as well as the attitude that I bring to the team. I don’t make a huge amount of money, but it’s significantly more than my previous job, and there’s no “fake nice” here, like there was there. Everyone is genuine, like it or not. People are direct, but kind. And you know where you stand with everyone. But no matter where you stand, everyone is pleasant and there’s no catty gossip and backstabbing. People work together as a team, valuing the strengths of everyone else. Of course there are arguments and people get their feelings hurt. However, they don’t hold grudges and talk shit behind their backs, at least for long. You cannot get ahead in this company by being an asshole. I am grateful for this.
I am grateful for the opportunity to work in a new industry and expand my skills as a person and employee. I am challenged almost every day to learn something new or grow in my role here. In just a few months I’ve been able to surpass the duties of my predecessor significantly. I’ve expanded my role to almost twice her weekly hours, and secured myself as a valuable asset to multiple working groups and teams. I love helping others and I love learning new things. This job allows me to do both regularly, and I am thankful for that.
I’m also grateful for the fact that I’m treated like an adult. I do not have someone standing over me all day, monitoring my every move. I am allowed to take a break whenever I need to, surf the internet if I feel like it, and I still manage to get more done in a day than I ever did previously. It means something to feel like you’re not under the microscope. I’m eternally grateful for this.
And finally, I’m grateful for the flexibility of this position. It’s very important that I’m here, because I serve as the hub for many processes, however I can take vacation with a little notice, or adjust my schedule if I need to do something during the day. I’m not trapped at my desk 100% of my day, until a specified time, day in and day out. It’s a beautiful thing. This allows me to join my baby for doctor visits, come in a little late if she needs me in the morning, or get off a little early so that we can get things done before the middle of the night. I’m so very grateful that I found this job.
I appreciate every minute I get to spend here, as well as the challenges and people that come with the title. I am very glad that I passed up other opportunities, even though they were very tempting and lucrative at the time. I truly do not believe that I would have been as happy at those places, as I am here. Nor do I think I would have wanted to stay there forever. Not that I want to stay in this place forever, I’m sure I could if I wanted to. All of those other failed interviews and complicated situations that just “didn’t feel right” at the time, were simply blessings in disguise. I am grateful that they didn’t pan out the way I hoped then and that this opportunity pretty much landed in my lap. I’m so fortunate for so many reasons to be here in this place. And that’s what I’m grateful for today.
40 days of gratitude
The theme of this blog has been evolving ever since I began typing that first blog several years ago. I was searching for meaningful ways to bring more happiness into my daily life. I was in the midst of college and in a dark place in my personal relationships. I was not living authentically or really living at all. I was just grinding it out, day in and day out; existing simply to finish my then goal of graduating college. I was on the back end of personal tragedy and heartbreak, in the middle of a difficult and potentially dangerous situation, and getting ready to step off a cliff into the unknown. There were so many forces at work and I had to focus on the positive. I’m nowhere near where I was, but I’m not yet to where I want to be. I am evolving, and so is this blog.
So I recently asked myself the following:
What is it with 40 days/ 6 weeks? Lent is 40 days; maternity leave is about 6 weeks after the baby is born for those that get it. Why are these numbers or timeframes so engrained in our past and present lives? I don’t have these answers, but I’ve been inspired.
I was reading a book that I was meaning to read for a long time. It was on my Amazon wishlist for a few years, and I finally received it for my birthday, I think. I didn’t read it right away for some reason, but I’m glad that I did. Reading books has gotten harder since having a little one at home. She takes up 99% of my spare waking time that I’m not at work. The other 1% is cleaning. Anyway, the premise of the book Life is a Verb, is that 37 days (which is very close to 40) can transform your life. There are a series of stories and activities to do at the end of each one for 37 days. Each of these activities are designed by the author (whom I seem to feel is a kindred spirit from her stories and experiences) to help you live the life you want. Living the life I want, spending more time with my family, working smarter-not-harder, and being in the employ of myself are my main goals, but living a more grateful and joyful life have been my “small” goals for many years.
Those of you who’ve been following this blog for any length of time know that I’ve been studying and seeking greater happiness for a long time. I’ve had moments of elation that I cannot compare to anything else in this life, but I’ve also experienced some of the most devastating despair and loss that I’ve ever had in my 35 years on this earth. Of course, I’ve felt everything in between and surely will over and over again as I grow older. I hope that the feelings of happiness will be greater than those of unhappiness, of course, as we all do. So by focusing on what I want, instead of what I don’t want, I plan to cultivate just that.
So in the spirit of change, transformation, and happiness, I’m going to focus on gratitude. There have been countless studies and interviews indicating that the more a person is grateful, the happier they are throughout the course of their lives, and also exhibit more satisfaction with their lives in general. I’d like to practice more gratitude, because while I’m extremely grateful for all of the things in my life, I feel like if I can bring intention and magnify the things in which I am grateful, more of these things will grace my daily life.
I have decided that I want to challenge myself to not only be grateful, especially amidst stress and fatigue, but I also want to challenge my personal dedication to writing. I love writing but find that I make excuses not to do it, mostly evolving from not having enough time. Because of this, I want to focus on just a few minutes of writing each day to express my gratitude. Gradually, or at least periodically, I’m sure my entries will be long, but I’m guessing that most of them will be short. Probably very short. But the goal is to do it. Starting tomorrow, I’ve set an alarm to ensure that I simply don’t forget to write. It is my intention to bring attention to this particular goal for just a few minutes every day.
So stay tuned! And wish me luck. I’ll likely need it.
