Author: wendemachete

wend E machete is a nickname/ pen name for me, Sandra Marek, a writer and entrepreneur. I'm an active, non-traditional, bleeding heart liberal, mother, and devoted wife. I'm an ethical vegan, reiki master practitioner, yogi, meditation guide, Ayurvedic practitioner, public health nutritionist, aspiring Jodo Shinshu Buddhist minister, and scooter enthusiast. I support the open sharing of real information and the non-violent, creative resistance of authority. Question everything. Think for yourself. Live a life of loving kindness and compassion towards others. We are all interconnected. United.

May and June Goals! Look out!

Here they are:
Interpersonal skills (overall goal)
~ Right Speech (more focused goal)
Bite your tongue and never say things that you cannot truly take back
Fight right: in words, thoughts and deeds
Pure and beautiful words: eliminate harsh language
Nobody’s perfect, express positivity in words often: show leniency and positivity
Abstain from idle chatter and gossip: I mean it.

Well, here we are again, the start of a new set of goals in the happiness quest. The above goals, upon reading them again to put them in this post, seem a little like I’m a jerk. I want to slightly clarify, in my own defense. Since, those that truly know me know, yes I can be blunt and direct, but I’ll also be your biggest fan and supporter, no matter what.

However, I also have a very short temper in certain situations… like in arguments. It’s not that I’m malicious or anything on purpose, I just want the fight to be over NOW, by any means necessary. And once I cross over the “too much drama/stress” line, all bets are off. I know that this is incredibly unhealthy for not just myself, but those I’m close to. It ends up dragging out the argument much longer and makes it significantly worse for both parties. So, instead of this, I’m going to start fighting right all the way from my thoughts to what comes out of my mouth, to even my body language. I am too old and too tired of playing baby games. I need to start acting and fighting like a rational, mature person.

The goal of “pure and beautiful words” is a Buddhist principle that, after working in a warehouse, has essentially made impossible for me to adhere to. In short, it means no cussing. I’m not typically someone who swears a lot, but when I’m with friends I let the F-bombs fly. I’ve decided that it not only makes me look stupid, it makes me feel childish and unintelligent. I have a pretty extensive vocabulary, I’m sure that I can find OTHER words to express myself.

I hold myself to an often insane and unattainable standard and I’m prone to holding others to those standards as well. I need to knock it off. It’s not fair to other people that I hold them to these standards nor is it my place to be upset with them for being human. Because of these standards I impose on people, I tend to be critical of them and because I’m also a “fixer” (by which I feel compelled to fix everything or make suggestions as to how one can fix it), I come off harsh and often bossy. I don’t want people to think I’m being critical, judging them or bossing them around. I’m just a perfectionist. However, I need to keep that crap to myself. I think others find it annoying.

Finally, I’m going to stop gossiping. I’ve been thinking about this particular goal quite a bit in the last few weeks because I knew it was coming up. I was just making a mental note of times where I gossip or just say things about people that I probably shouldn’t share. So, I’m fairly sure this goal may be one of the hardest to retrain myself in, but I’m recognizing that I need to be less of a chatterbox.

Anyway, there you have it folks! My goals for the next two months. What goals have you set out for yourselves? Are they anything like mine? Feel free to share them in the comments section. :)

(http://blogs.villagevoice.com/dailymusto/2011/07/gossip_gossip_g.php) -credit for above picture

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Maybe this weight is a gift…

It’s funny how my mp3 player sometimes knows exactly how I’m feeling. During those times, songs play that are 100% perfect.

Lately, I’ve been struggling to feel positive about things as they are. I’m struggling with one class, so much so that it’s unlikely I’ll pass. That, in and of itself is frustrating, but having to take it again… even more so. Generally, I’m keeping it positive but there are issues with not having a job (though, it does free up some time to blog and study for finals, clean the house) and a sick dog doesn’t exactly help out finances any. But THIS SONG from Nada Surf reminds me that A) it’s not so bad and B) and maybe all these struggles I’ve been experiencing is just the stress before profound growth and that maybe there’s a lesson in all this.

“Do It Again”

Well I’d snap to attention
If I thought that you knew the way
I’d open my mouth
If I had something smart to say
I bought a stack of books
I didn’t read a thing
It’s like I’m sitting here
Waiting for birds to sing
Let’s do it again
Come on let’s do it again
Please let’s do it again
The hum of the clock
Is a far-away place
The azalea air holding your face
You’re lying down
And the moon is sideways
From the hot to the cold
It never gets old
I spend all my energy
Staying upright
And I like the masking noise quiet
Of your breathing nearby
I want you lazy science
I want some peace
Are you the future?
Show me the keys
When I accelerate
I remember why it’s good to be alive
Like a twenty-five cent game
Maybe this weight was a gift
Like I had to see what I could lift
I spend all my energy
Walking upright
Thanks to Erdbeerpraline for adding these lyrics.

(http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nadasurf/doitagain.html)

 

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Right View- Update

For March and April my goals were as follows:

Life is suffering, strive to eliminate it for those around you in ways that matter to them, not yourself
End toxic relationships for good
Cultivate wholesome relationships with like-minded people: find more vegans
Avoid attachments to unnecessary or unwholesome things: stop watching reality tv
What goes in is what comes out: go organic and/or grow it yourself

Since April is coming to a close, I figured that I should take a minute to take stock of how I’m doing with these goals. Let’s take the first one, for example. Yes, my thinking is changing about what it takes to help others and what I can do to be more effective at it. But there’s a sort of hidden meaning with this one. I want to, in addition to helping those around me, also concentrate on not beating myself up because I’m not able to help them in ways that I want to. So, my friend calls and is upset about something, I want to fix it… but really what she needs is a good listener. I feel like I’m not helping at all, but she ultimately feels better. I feel guilty because I didn’t “help her” in a way that I felt she needed. This is something I’ve been working on and there’s not really a defined measurement of success, but I know that just by being here, I’m doing all I can in some cases and that should be good enough.

Ending toxic relationships: this one is a little tricky. I want to end a few relationships with people that have exceeded their usefulness and have become toxic. I really do. But it’s hard to tell someone you rarely speak to that you want to continue to stop speaking to them. In this case, I’m just letting sleeping dogs lie, as it were. I don’t think it’s worth the stress or explanation to have to contact a person to tell them you don’t want to talk to them. I have weeded out my social media sites almost entirely of people that I’m not truly friends with or that are more stress than I can handle. Woo! Small victory!

Cultivating relationships with people is rather difficult when you’re insulating yourself and nesting. It’s hard to meet people, go out and be with friends etc when all I want to do is organize the house and work on the garden. This one is going to be a work in progress i think, but I’ve already set out the feelers and have been networking with people in my field of work. THAT might pose to be more “useful” than having friends at this point.

Unwholesome attachments are something I’m pretty good at severing, I’ve decided. Yes, I spend some time on the couch watching the tube with my honey, however, lately… it’s been “reality” shows of a different kind… home improvement shows! I could literally watch home and garden shows all day. This is sort of my new obsession, mainly because there are so many interesting ideas and new things that have come out to make my home not only functional (which is a MUST) but also really beautiful. I cannot wait to put some of these ideas in motion. It’s going to be epic!

Finally, of course, the garden. Aside from having to outsmart a small pack of animals (our dogs and the neighborhood cat population), it’s slow at best. I’m not sure if it’s the weather, the seeds we started with or what… but the garden is appearing to be a constant work in progress. Chalk one up for us though. We caged it so it’s no longer a litter box. :)

Anyway, look for more updates in the next few days as I prepare for next month and the subsequent goals!

(Calgary Buddhist Temple http://www.calgary-buddhist.ab.ca/statue.htm)

 

 

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Go Organic or Grow it Myself

One of my goals for this month is: What goes in is what comes out: Go organic and/or grow it yourself.

In the midst of the great move and unpacking project, I really have been trying to keep up with my happiness project. Sadly, extracurricular activities have made going to my Buddhist temple impossible. However, my Sunday obligations are fewer now, so I’m going to take this opportunity to get back into the swing of things.

So, as I just mentioned, organic or self grown (and still organic and vegan) is where my heart is leading me. Now, I’m not much of a gardener. I’ve never really had the time (as if I do now), nor the space. However, I’ve made the commitment to creating both time and space for gardening. I think that not only will this fulfill current goals, but it’ll also give me new avenues for past goals (such as finding a meditative practice that works for me).

Anyway, thanks to some ideas from my dad who was recently visiting and some help from my beloved, we have a garden. It’s small, but packed with seeds of deliciousness. Hopefully some food will come out of it. Fingers crossed.

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Happiness Hits Home

The postings about my happiness project and most of my school work have recently been derailed. While incredibly stressful and decidedly an unhappy process, buying a home will increase the happiness quotient infinitely, once we get unpacked and fully settled in. Not only have we just moved into our new home a couple weeks ago, but my dad has been visiting from the frosty North this week too. Talk about stuff going on!

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about posts and things that I want to talk about (that hopefully people want to read about), nevertheless. I’m working on some interviews for this and another blog as well as the weather finally getting more predictable (HOT and sunny!) so scooting will commence quite soon too. I’m really excited about the home buying adventure and how that very difficult and trying period of life has now given way to the joys of feeling more secure and rooted not only in life, but even just in my city. As much as a sometimes hate it here for political, social and various other reasons, I do love it here. I feel just that much more invested in making this city better and participating in it. Hell, I’ve even met the neighbors on both sides of me! We’ve been here 2 weeks! There have been houses that I’ve lived in for years and never met ANYONE! So this is a good start. Meeting and knowing those around us helps us feel connected to one another, invested in the safety and happiness of others. I like that feeling. Before, I’d tel the neighbor if a stranger was at their place, but now… that’s Joe’s house. We’ve got to look out for one another. Or when the pups are at the fence freaking out entirely, I know that’s Kicker (the pretty pit bull next door) saying hi. I already feel like part of this street and part of this community. I get to smile and wave at the people on the block when I go out to get the mail. I’ve never really had that. Yes, I’ve previously owned a house and I loved that house, but I knew one neighbor. He was a long haul trucker and his wife didn’t speak a word of English, plus I never saw her outside. This is already the experience that I should have had before. 

As I mentioned before my dad has been visiting. He needed a place to stay that wasn’t a hotel while he was here, and we’ve got the room. We aren’t quite unpacked yet, but it’s been really great having my family share this exciting adventure. I get to share a cup of coffee with him (like I’m doing now) in the mornings and chat before I start my whirlwind day and then when we get home, we do things or just hang out. We even made stuff since he’s been here!

So, yes, the “formal” happiness project has hit a slight snag, the real happiness has only just begun. We’re so excited for this adventure. :)

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