So as I’ve mentioned, I’ve been inspired by Tony Robbins recently. So much so, that I’ve checked out a money book that he wrote a few years ago as well. It’s a 600 pager, and certainly not “simple” as the cover would suggest… but I digress.

I recently discovered that with all his success, he’s a “controversial” motivational speaker. First, I would posit, what isn’t controversial these days? And second, he’s a motivational speaker. They are not far off from televangelists and others like them. However, that charisma, energy, sensationalism, and did I mention charisma, are what SELL you on their abilities. Without all that stuff, they’re just regular people like you and me, who may or may not be successful.

With that being said, I choose to believe in much of what he says. Before you roll your eyes, consider this: I am an eternal skeptic. I’m skeptical of everyone and frankly, everything. I am not buying what pretty much anyone is selling. On the flip side, I truly believe that people need something to believe in. Whether it’s based on science (or faith or whatever else), or not, human beings need something to believe in. You can be the person that believes in themselves, or extraterrestrial beings, or a deity in the heavens/Earth. Regardless of what it is, we feel compelled to believe in stuff. Although I’m positively a skeptic, I believe that Tony Robbins means well. I believe in my heart of hearts that he absolutely wants the best for other humans and if his words, actions, or advice get people to their goals, he and I are both on the same page. What’s funny is that we all have the capacity to disregard what does not serve us. If I don’t agree with something or a piece of advice, I can politely disregard it and take what is valuable to me, and move on. That’s what I’m choosing here.

So the piece of advice that rang truer to me than much else in this particular book (I’m listening to the audio version in the car during my commutes and such), is that if you change your story, you change y our life. For so many years my story began in a terrible place of loss, lacking, emotional and physical needs that were not being met by the very people meant to meet them, and a lifetime of persistence yielding few positive results. However, when I changed the dialogue, I changed my feelings about my life.

Instead of leading with how my life has essentially sucked from the beginning, I start off saying that my parents did their absolute best with what they had. I was raised by teenagers (my parents) and bikers (my father’s parents) in the 1980s, because my mother was kicked out for getting pregnant at 14. Both of my parents have demonstrated nothing but tenacity and a work ethic that I have seen very rarely by anyone else. Growing up in this environment has instilled in me that hard work is not to be foregone, but rather embraced. Conquering tasks is delightfully euphoric to me, and I know that they taught me this. Beyond that, my mother has taught me the art of unconditionally loving people, even if they don’t deserve it. She took a pack of teenage castaways into her home, and treated them as if they were her own children. I know they are still incredibly grateful for those years of respite from their own destructive stories.

So by changing the narrative of my life, even though we struggled (and often still do) for the entirety of my life, I have discovered that there are tangible and intangible skills and knowledge I’ve been blessed with. My ability to buckle down, even at the hardest points, and still get things done; the resourcefulness and creativity I show in difficult times; getting shit done, by any means necessary; protecting and supporting those around me; and so many more qualities have come from my upbringing. I couldn’t be more thankful for the hard life I’ve experienced. I chose to change my story. I would rather be in a place of positivity and gratitude than that of blame and looking back at my childhood. I don’t live there anymore and choose not to dwell on the past. Everything in my life has led to this moment in time, what I do with it is my choice alone.

I’m choosing to not only change the story from the start, but I’m changing it to the end. I have come to an impasse. I am faced with a number of decisions that will no doubt, impact the trajectory of the rest of my life. I’m nervous of the unknown, but I am confident in my abilities to make things work, by whatever means necessary. I am on a path of positivity and gratitude. Yes, shit can go haywire and slide off the rails, but if I choose to see adversity as opportunity, I will suffer less. As I have heard also in this audiobook: You get what you tolerate. Yes, this was in reference to finances, but I believe that it translates to every facet of life.

I am no longer tolerating negativity. Instead, I am living in a place of joy and gratitude. I will not tolerate people being shitty to me. Instead, I choose to no longer associate with an albatross. I will no longer be inundated with crap on the internet that is designed to be divisive, catty, inflammatory, or unkind. There is an “unfollow” button on social media that I’ve been using with impunity. It is my life and I seek to make it mine. These choices are not just for me, after all. I have a child that needs to see her mother in a state of happiness, thankfulness, and love. She doesn’t deserve to have me as a short, negative, unpleasant person and that’s how I’ve been feeling. I’ve been so weighed down by the world around me and I’ve decided that it no longer serves me. I’m thankful for Tony Robbins for the inspiration and motivation to remove things that no longer serve the greater good in my life. I someday hope to shake his hand and thank him for that gift.