Today I’m grateful for flexibility. Remaining fluid in life allows a person the ability to sway in the wind, rather than to snap. This has been a challenging week once again, but not letting things get to me and just rolling with the punches has allowed me the ability to not murder people and to also be nicer to my family. I know last week I was kind of terrible to my husband and I’m trying to be better. He’s also been helping more so that I don’t feel under so much pressure. I’m thankful for this too. He loves me and is willing to help me keep my sanity. I like that about him, amongst other things. Being flexible has helped not just at work, but also at home. I could be freaking out because our baby was up 100 times again last night, but I know these times are fleeting and she will be grown before I know it. Instead, I roll with it and get back to sleep as soon as possible after she settles down again. I’m grateful that she usually settles down fairly quickly.
Day 29- Gratitude Project
Today I’m grateful for something most people would find strange, a chronic illness. When I was 25 I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I’ve lived with this condition for a decade now and I can’t say it has been great. However, as I was thinking about the challenges this week, I realized that part of the challenge has been my fibro symptoms. As anyone with the condition knows, there are a variety of symptoms ranging from depression to widespread pain and fatigue. I’ve been experiencing all of these that I just mentioned. And of course, these things compound on each other. You’re depressed, so you have a bad day, so you’re more depressed, so you have a worse day, so you’re depressed further… It just never ends, until you make the conscious effort to end it.
Last night I had to apologize to my husband because I was just in a crappy mood, and snapped at him for not being a mind reader. I realized that the weather has been affecting my mood, as has my flare-up. It’s been compounding all week and even this morning I recognized that I’ve been just all around feeling terrible.
Since I was thinking about it this morning on my way into the office, I now recognize that I’m grateful for this condition and everything that comes along with it. The reason for this is that having Fibromyalgia forces me to A) be more in tune with my body and mind, B) reminds me that I need to take time for self-care regularly, and C) provides me the opportunity to acknowledge and be aware of how I interact with those around me. These things are constantly forcing me become a better version of myself and for that, I’m grateful.
I’m thankful for opportunities to improve myself, my mindset, and my attitude. To put a spotlight on areas that need improvement can sometimes be frustrating, as I do not always want to admit that I have shortcomings. But at the same time, it allows me the chance to be better. My perfectionism really likes “improving”, even if it is at the chagrin of my ego. I am grateful and embrace the chance to be better for myself, my family, and the world at large.
Day 19- Gratitude Project
Today, I’m thankful for writing. I love writing and have several projects going on that involve writing. When I was in college, I hated much of the writing and after many years of school, I all but lost my love for it. I really wanted nothing to do with writing and I felt lost for a very long time. I feel lost when I stray from my love of writing. I love thinking and expressing using the written word. I even love writing by hand, even though we do so little of it these days.
Writing also makes me feel better. Even if I’m not writing about what has got me down, the simple act of expression oneself soothes me. I don’t do nearly as much of it as I’d like, but I’m working on that. I someday aspire to do it for a living, though, I feel like it could dampen my gratitude for writing if I’m doing it for money. But I feel like I can still love it, if I’m doing the writing I want to do. Writing term papers sucks the love right out of me. But writing about observations, thoughts, feelings, joys, sorrows… THAT inspires me.
So I’m not just thankful for the act of writing, but the feelings I get from it, and after it. I am also grateful for the inspiration that sparks my desire to write. I’m thankful for the words in my head, aching to come out, like a composer orchestrating a symphony. I love words and their meanings. I used to read the dictionary as a kid. True story. And I strove to learn new words, and to use them whenever possible.
I will not likely author the next great novel, but someday I would like to write a memoir, about a previous life I once had. But in the meantime, I’ll write my memoir as it goes. Even though it is a far cry from what it was even just a few years ago, I have a blessed life and a desire to share not only my life experiences, but the words scrambling in my head about it.
Day 15- Gratitude Project
This week has been a struggle emotionally, mentally, and physically. Honestly, I am most grateful that today is Friday and I have the weekend with my family. I’m glad that I’m fortunate enough to work a job in which I have two days off together and they are the weekend. Many people do not have weekends off or both weekend days off. I acknowledge the struggle with that. Not having two days off together sucks, and I feel for those that do work weekends, when they’d rather not. Since my husband is a student and stay-at-home-dad, weekends are not critical for us to have off together, but I enjoy having the same days off as most of my friends and family. We can all spend time together, which we often do. I’m grateful for this time we share on the weekends. Being able to stay up a little later and thinking about sleeping in a little (which basically doesn’t happen for parents of small children) are also good parts to weekends that I’m thankful for. I’m glad that I get a break from my daily work routine and I’m so fortunate to spend the weekends with my baby and husband. Today I’m thankful it’s Friday and the weekend is about to begin.
Day 14- Gratitude Project
Today I’m grateful for a simple thing. Sometimes it’s the only thing that can keep us from completely falling to pieces. That glue today is music. I’m so beyond grateful for the art of music, and my ability to listen to it whenever I want to. We have virtually unlimited access to unlimited music from across the world. I’m grateful that not only do I have the ability to hear it and that it’s available to me, but I’m also extremely thankful for the musicians, producers, and technicians that make modern music readily available to us. I’m fairly certain that without music that spoke to me in all of my trials, tribulations, joys and sorrows, I would not be here today. Music provides an outlet for singing, dancing, and many feelings that I would otherwise not be in tune with. Music speaks to me on every level, and I am just so damn thankful that it exists and I can listen to it. I have laughed, cried, danced, sang, spaced out, and more to music. My goal is to continue listening to music until my ears no longer work or I leave this plane of existence. I hope that there’s music in the afterlife, whatever that may be. Music has made my day better today and helped keep me focused on the tasks at hand, including this blog. I’m thankful that I carry music with me on my phone, in my head, and in my heart. I’m also grateful that my husband and daughter love music as well. Our tastes may be significantly different, we still appreciate it equally. For this too, I am thankful.
