Tag: Benjamin Franklin

Ben Franklin was a wise guy, not to be confused with a wiseguy

From Ben Franklin’s Moral Chart- “SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.”

From Ben Franklin’s Action-Inducing Lessons- “Energy and persistence conquer all things.”

So, what can we say about the amazing Ben Franklin? Aside from his affinity of making lists and inventing some amazing stuff, he was also very wise. While it’s rumored that he didn’t exactly follow his own advice, particularly when it came to women and booze, he worked towards ambitious and wholesome goals. Now you ask, how could this possibly have anything to do with my goals pertaining to “Right Speech“? Well, it’s funny you should ask… :)

Basically I went to my good friend’s graduation ceremony today (way to go Danielle!) it occurred to me that people are rude. Get a bunch of people in a very large room together and you’ll notice this more often than not. But the above quotes pertain directly to what I witnessed in that large room. People were chatting idly while the graduates, whom they didn’t know, were gracing the stage. When they did know a particular person, they were screaming and clapping wildly. I even saw people walking out after their grad walked the stage. Not only that, cell phones and inappropriate attire were EVERYWHERE. Now, I’m certainly no saint when it comes to dressing up at occasions or using my phone at the wrong time… I guess when it’s in public, I’m typically on my best behavior. While this pertains exactly to the portion of my list of goals that “people are not perfect”, people seem to just not give a crap unless it affects them directly. That, to me, is rude as hell. I want to believe that other people are not jerks. Constantly, I’m being proved incredibly wrong.

What I learned from today’s adventure in mixed company is that 1) Rude people are everywhere and it’s best to just ignore them before I blow a gasket, 2) You often don’t get a choice in life as to the kinds of people you are forced to be near, like at graduations, and families are included in this. Occasions such as weddings, birthdays and graduations are not necessarily for THAT person, it’s mainly for the friends and families of THAT person to celebrate the occasion. Which is often why people who suck are invited to those things and you and every other guest are forced to be in the same room with those people. 3) I am often one of the more sensibly dressed at special occasions. (Point in case: my grandfather’s funeral. My brother and I were among the best dressed and he was wearing tennis shoes. You can imagine the rest of the clan.) Today was an onslaught of flip-flops, white tank tops, shorts and dresses that were WAY TOO revealing, short, tight or all 3. I was embarrassed for them. And finally the 4th thing I realized from this experience: my graduation in December will be no different and my family is likely to be a participant in something others find objectionable. More than likely, it’ll be my brother F-bombing or insulting someone. :)

Then it dawned on me… As annoying as those people were as I was in the audience, people are people and we just have to not be so critical and keep our judging to ourselves. I regret commenting to my friend’s family about how some other audience members were dressed or behaving. It’s not my place to say anything about them. So for that test, I fail. But now I know… and in the words of GI Joe, “knowing is half the battle”.

(Above picture from: http://voiceseducation.org/category/tag/benjamin-franklin)

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Practice makes perfect and other silly things

I say that practice makes perfect is a silly thing simply because I suck at failure. Everyone’s heard the saying “doing something over and over again, yielding the same results is the definition of insanity” or some version of the same sentiment… I see imperfection as failure. So if I’m trying and trying and trying, but failing every time to meet my self proclaimed level of perfection, I feel defeated and kinda crazy. Part of the exercises for this and next month is to try and break that habit. I want to let go of “perfection” as I see it and “failure” as it relates to perfection. Just because something I do isn’t perfect, doesn’t mean I fail. But by calling it practice makes perfect, I’m able to reassess what perfection is to me. Is it getting all A’s this semester? While that would be perfection and I’m definitely striving for that end, I have to be ok with allowing myself a B or even a C without beating myself up over it. I had a hard time with this last semester. I just had to remember that my best, whatever that is for each and every thing I do, has to be good enough… “perfect” in it’s own rite. This also makes me mindful of my limitations, though I try to keep those to a minimum…

I think this is sort of a blanket feeling for all my goals this month, the idea of perfection. Because I’m focusing on Right Effort and Right Meditation, I have to sort of figure out if the INTENT is right, not necessarily the outcome. I have to say that every one of my goals: Decluttering, learning a new skill, dressing more “my age” sometimes, my 15 minute miracles and meditation, are INTENDED to be perfect and also a process of change and learning. I don’t know if it’s exactly possible for them to all be BOTH. I’m almost ready to say that my goals are my new skill for the months, simply because I’ve never undertaken a series of goals such as these, at least not in this way before. I’m learning the art of imperfection, growth and allowing myself to be, well… myself while doing and holding myself accountable for all these procedures.  When I think about them in the grand scheme of things, it’s a bit overwhelming.

But I guess it’s my version of shock therapy. I’m shocking myself into changing my thinking, acting and mindset, about just about everything.

This brings me to Benjamin Franklin. He was a drinking, a womanizer, a founding father of the US, an inventor and many other things… but he was also on a personal quest to find personal, moral perfection. He had 13 virtues that he was striving for, resolved to try and perfect each one in himself, created charts and tracked his own progress on these virtues. Here’s his list:

  1. “TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.”
  2. “SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.”
  3. “ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.”
  4. “RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.”
  5. “FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.”
  6. “INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.”
  7. “SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.”
  8. “JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.”
  9. “MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.”
  10. “CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.”
  11. “TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.”
  12. “CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.”
  13. “HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.”

As I read through these, I found that several of them are quite similar to what some of my goals are, more or less. It’s interesting that even hundreds of years ago, humans have been riddled with self reflection about many of the same topics. We are all striving, in some form or fashion, to achieve the same goals and “virtues”. I find it quite interesting that even before the advent of telecommunication, the internet, mass transit and all of the things we take for granted in modern society, we all just want to be better, more aware, more kind people. It gives me hope that I’m on the right track and also a bit humbling because even someone so decorated and admired through our country’s history, was imperfect himself… struggling to make himself better. It makes me feel less alone in my thinking that I can be happier in my daily life, I can be a better person and live a good, humble life.

Anyway, I thought that I would share some thoughts for the day. Happy Sunday to everyone! Feel free to share your thoughts and comments about this or any other topic. I read them all and accept them, as long as they’re not spam.

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