Humans are exceptional at creating things. We can build unthinkable structures, make things that defy reason, and also, we can create a worst-case-scenario that would never, could never, ever come to pass. These “what-ifs” keep us safe and help us negotiate an uncertain world. But these thoughts and actions also prevent us from taking steps toward an unencumbered, beautiful life. I have found myself giving advice to people close to me recently, and the thoughts that I shared were simple: To change your life, you must take the step, and the net will appear. If you are sitting comfortably (or uncomfortably, as it were) in your rut, you cannot see the net that will inevitably catch you. You have to take the step, so the net will appear in your limited field of view.

Have you ever felt yourself stagnating in a soul-sucking job that you hate? Limiting the energy you have for friends, family, self-care, and all of the other things that make this life worth living? I can tell you I’ve had more than my fair share of these experiences. But the paycheck, or the freedom, or comfort, or something else that I tell myself keeps me there far longer than I’d care to be. Thus draining my will and sapping my motivation. There almost assuredly comes a breaking point in these situations, in which I hit the point of no return. This point has been getting shorter and shorter as I age. Maybe it’s my threshold for bullshit is lower, or simply I recognize that my life is more valuable than this, sooner. I don’t know. But I’ve determined that once I get there, nothing will stop me from changing SOMETHING.

Sometimes, what has to change is my mindset. Perhaps I need to view the situation as temporary and muscle through it. Often times, that’s just not my jam. Rather, I cut the cord and bail the hell out. Not everyone has the fortitude to just cut and run from things that no longer serve them. However, it’s a skill I was not born with either. It’s taken years of therapy, self-help books, and constantly reaffirming that I am the master of my own buffet experience. I’m driving this car, and I’ll be damned if I don’t make it to wherever I’m going. I spent countless years of my life afraid and complacent in situations that I had no business entertaining, let alone neck deep in. I was in relationships that were toxic, jobs that caused massive panic attacks and suicidal ideations. I worked for abusive managers, held on tightly to friendships that were so one-sided, that they were causing me mental anguish. None of these situations served me. In abandoning them, what’s the worst that could happen?

For a very long time, I considered that absolute worst things imaginable in these situations. But, changing my situation caused decidedly ZERO of them to come to fruition. In fact, the exact opposite almost always happened. In many of these cases, the best possible things occurred. I changed my outlook, learned something new about myself and others, and I freed up space in my psyche for good things to enter. The best part? Good things ALWAYS entered in some way. Take the step and the net will appear.

A prime example of this is when I decided to start a business. It took a while to get set up, but eventually, I quit my job (for several reasons not related to the business, and much earlier than anticipated). I was terrified. I spent more than a year building something truly amazing. I had a staff that were unparalleled, customers that became like family, and created a community of other businesses and people that are still thriving today. However, despite best intents and efforts, I had to close my establishment. It was devastating. I felt as though I truly let down my community, and in many ways, I did. I let down people who trusted me, and believed in me. I couldn’t go a day without sobbing uncontrollably. It was a slow-motion train wreck, and many of us saw it coming, but when I had to pull the plug, I felt lost and hopeless. I had already accepted a job that was beneath my needs financially, but I was trying to make everything work. It didn’t. Meanwhile, my personal life was also in shambles. I was taking hits from all angles and I couldn’t find the light. There came a moment when I had a good, hard look at my situation though. I determined that I couldn’t wallow a second longer. I had to walk out of this with my head high for what we accomplished, against all odds. I had to live a life of love and gratitude.

This is when the net appeared. I took a step toward the light, toward gratitude, and there was a safety net. The worst HAD happened. I lost almost everything I had been building for years. But my outlook changed and I was, and still am, more grateful for the lessons than I could have ever been otherwise. Everything that I set out to do I accomplished in short order and then it was over. My panic attacks in the middle of the night were also over. I used to wake up in night terrors over the pressure and responsibility I felt for my employees and community at large. I’m still digging myself out of the financial pit closing a retail business entails. And by no means it is easy or fun. However, I feel amazing. I’m truly grateful for everything that happened and that is still happening.

I’ve moved across the country and started a whole new life, while still paying off old items. I’m in a MUCH better situation mentally, financially, and emotionally. I am better equipped to handle the struggles we face with humor and gratitude. I’m showing my kiddo that it’s ok to fail, and that if you make things right with people, even slowly, it’ll be alright. Progress is sometimes slow, but the effort is what people want to see. Not only that, but I feel better for making things right. I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I made life harder for a fellow small business.

Anyway, in times where it looks like everything is falling apart, everything could just be falling into place. You never know what awaits you when you let the universe work it’s magic. I can guarantee that it’s beyond your wildest dreams, if you let it. You have to take the step, for the net to appear.

Thanks for reading.