Tag: Buddhism

The universe is sometimes against us

I have decided that life is not about just seeking happiness and making it to the proverbial finish line, but it’s also a series of tests to see if we’ve learned anything along the way, peppered with randomness and a nice helping of karma.

It’s hard to change old habits, I’m as good an example of this as anyone, but I’ve got to say it’s MUCH harder when you feel like you’re constantly fighting the flow. Every where you go, there’s this invisible force constantly pushing back on you. The harder you fight, the more tired you become. The worst part is that you can clearly SEE your goals and they are just out of reach.

It’s even harder to truly change when you’re stretched thin as it is. In this modern world there are intense pressures: work, school, families, taxes, traffic, bills, uncertainty… and then when you are working towards a goal, having everything imaginable pushing you back from that goal, makes it that much harder. It’s defeating. But what can you do? Give up? Never try in the first place? What would be the point in living, if you’re never striving for anything? You’d be like a stick in the sea… just floating along, never going against the current. How boring would that be?

Seeking and striving for goals is what helps make life worth living, but it’s hard to maintain when it seems that everything in the universe is against you. There’s a lesson in there somewhere, maybe it’s to change your attitude about the experience or tweaking the process, but there’s got to be something to learn from it, right?

 

( Above image from http://thebeautifullstruggle.tumblr.com/)

 

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The way to happiness….

I read a quote today that struck my sleepy brain like lightening. And here’s what it said:

“There is no way to happiness; Happiness is the way”- Thich Naht Hanh

  Here’s the light bulb that went off in my head. Now, I know this might sound overly
“Buddhist” or whatever, but part of me thinks that this is one of those meditative curiosities, like “what’s the sound of one hand clapping?” However, the other part (the larger part) believes truly that one can be happy in their regular, daily life. I know it’s true. Great scholars and thinkers and inventors and Saints have all made references to happiness and how to get there, but Thich Naht Hanh as I know that The Dalai Lama, have devoted decades of teaching to this very thing.

With that being said, I can also achieve more happiness in my regular, daily life. I don’t have to seek out joy. I need to BE the joy. Be the light, the happiness and be it every day. I’m driving myself nuts in the minutiae of feeling guilty that I don’t do yoga like I want to everyday and I’m riddled with clutter. Yes, those things make me nuts and I’m striving to improve them, but they are not the “source” of my happiness or unhappiness. I am.

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I can’t live that way

I was at work the other day and I heard a song that I’ve heard a million times, but for some reason, THIS time I actually heard the lyrics. How often is it that we hear things that we’ve heard time and again, yet we have know idea what it says or means? I can sing almost every song on a particular station, but ask me to recall the actual words, forget it. But I digress.

Unwritten

The part of the song that struck a chord in me is as follows:

“I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We’ve been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can’t live that way”

I know that this sentiment goes back to my previous post the other day, but I feel like I understood those words for the very first time when I was singing along while working away. I have to say it was one of those “ah ha!” kind of moments that people are so frequently talking about, as if a light bulb just switched on. I say this because I’ve always considered myself non-traditional. For many years, that was one of the ways I described myself to other people, as if it were my own personal adjective. However, the rest of the song is equally profound when I really listened to it.

This is the chorus:

“Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins”

If this isn’t a true example of living in the moment and experiencing awareness in this and every moment, I don’t know what is. The implications are vast and far reaching, but the meaning is so very simple. You have to live your life, on your terms, NOW.

I often feel guilty. I’m not sure why I’m riddled with this feeling even if it’s completely misplaced, but I do. I feel guilty for close to everything. I take blame for things I’ve got nothing to do with on a fairly regular basis and it’s maddening, I assure you. But part of my project is to rid myself of these feelings of guilt that are not mine for the taking, but that’s later. Anyway, I mention this because I feel guilty for wanting to live my life my way. I give good “face” and act like it doesn’t bother me, that I’m not an incredibly sensitive person when it comes to how others view me and that I’m just this person who doesn’t care one bit about “conforming”. I wish that I WAS the person, but things effect me very profoundly most of the time. I give off the vibe like it doesn’t bother me in hopes that someday, things like that won’t bother me. Which brings me to the core of my revelation: I am myself. Nobody else on this Earth, in this or any other Universe has the same thoughts, feelings, experiences or any other thing as me, in this combination. I’m 100% unique, except for some DNA coding, but that’s a bit too technical for this post… I am me. What a striking concept to figure out at almost 31 years old. I knew all of these things and many more for my whole life, but when I was the weird kid, the tall kid, the awkward kid; I was trying to conform. But once I embraced the idea that I’m ME, I felt more comfortable in my own skin.

I still struggle with being myself all the time, mainly because I’ve got intense pressures from outside sources to be something less than me, but my overriding principle for the start of my happiness quest is first and foremost to be AUTHENTIC. I cannot find true, lasting happiness if I’m not ME first. I’ll be chasing nothing more than a pipe dream if I cannot first accept myself, exactly as I am. And that’s also a core principle for Jodo Shinshu. The Buddha’s teachings are for everyone, just as they are. I finally understand that with stark clarity. Wow.

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Finding Happiness Through Light and Illumination: Embracing Positive Change

The funny things about happiness…

Happiness can be elusive, but it’s something we can find in everyday moments, whether it’s through positive thinking, embracing Buddhist principles, or choosing light over darkness. Here’s how I’ve been practicing positivity in my daily life, despite the challenges.

Overall, I feel that happiness is a funny thing. Happiness is contagious, like laughter. On the other had so is sadness, misery (loves company, right?), anger and frustration. As one of my pillars of awareness/ quotes from The Happiness Project states  “It is easy to be heavy, hard to be light”.

I think this statement has deeper meaning than “weight”, however, and it fits perfectly within the concepts of Buddhist principles. We say that Amida Buddha is the Buddha of Infinite Light and Life. So in the statement, “light” can mean illumination. It is easy to fall into darkness, difficult to be illuminated. That’s a really profound and, for lack of a better term, heavy thought.

Some examples from my own life that bring this idea into focus for me, at least have been recent events. One personal, one professional.

How Choosing to Let Go Can Bring Light to Your Life

I have recently had a falling out with a very dear friend. Her and I have a huge difference of opinion, to say the least and I felt as if it were time to sever the friendship because the way that she and I interact sometimes has been the cause for  a lot of sadness and hurt feelings on both sides. So, as I was gracefully trying to “break up” with her, at least for now, she came back ten times more hurtful and only made things worse. It’s easy to fall into darkness. And rather than let the situation knock the light out of my life, I chose not to engage with her. This doesn’t mean that I’m not still deeply hurt and affected by the loss of a longtime friend, but it also shed light on a few things that I was blind to see. The situation truly shed light on how she and I were friends and how we acted toward one another. I’m not absolved in any way, I am just as much to blame for the way everything went down as she is, but I’m choosing the path on the high ground right now. It would have been easy to shoot back insults, call her out on every little thing, nit pick, be malicious… but I choose the hard road of illumination. This project and the things I’ve recently read and learned have really reframed my thinking about how to engage with others, what’s constructive and what isn’t. I’d feel a thousand times worse had I let her have it with both barrels. Not to mention the situation would have only gotten bigger and bigger, rather than just smoldering.

Embracing Joy in Difficult Situations: Lessons from My Job

I currently work in a warehouse. I pull and ship orders to our clients along with a few other people. We are a very small crew because corporate hasn’t a clue what we do there. Gotta love mergers and big business. Anyway, during the holidays, it’s extremely tough. We have days off of work, however our clients still can place orders through the internet and sometimes with our call center. That means when we come back to work, it’s SLAMMED. This year has been no different. Every holiday is this way, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving… you name it. But in December, we’re saddled with the added struggle of the sales people trying to meet quotas, boost their year-end bonuses and clients trying to use up their remaining credit before the month/ year is out, as well as closing out our month and year accounting. Then, after Christmas and New Years only a week later, we are hit by the fallout from the holiday and the push to order because everyone’s credit limits are reset. A very long, difficult story short, we pulled over 1300 products and sold over $100K in one day, with a crew of 4 people. It was almost a 12 hour day. We were getting orders of over 100 products, per client. But throughout the day, most of the time we were all smiling and laughing, even though it was so stressful and busy. If we didn’t laugh and joke, it would have made the day a million times more miserable. We were all tired and hungry and sore and overwhelmed, but we each chose (even the old crabby guy) to be lighthearted and joyful. The bigger the orders, the more we laughed about it. We’d make silly comments about the type of products or the weight of the boxes, but all in all, we each took it in stride. We couldn’t change the situation, we just simply changed how we looked at and reacted to it. This is why I love my job.

Have you ever faced a difficult situation where you chose to stay positive? Share your story below!

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Cultivating Happiness and Personal Growth

Welcome to my quest for intentional happiness and self-improvement. In this post, I’ll be sharing the goals, progress, and lessons learned as I create more joy and purpose in my life this year.

There are a few things I am going to use as my blanket statements/ overall mantras and one is something that I read in The Happiness Project, the second is another famous statement. Both have really struck and stuck with me.

The first being a quote from G.K. Chesterton, “It’s easy to be heavy: hard to be light”.

The second is yet another quote, but from the Dalai Lama. “If you want to be happy, practice compassion. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.”

I’m sure that not everyone wants to read about the hum-drum of my process for this mission I’ve set for myself this year, but I do believe it’s kind of important to mention that since undertakings such as this are incredibly individualized, everyone has their own methods and ways to tailor their efforts to work for them. In my case, I’m taking the Noble Eightfold Path of Buddhism and taking actions that apply to those items. I plan to cultivate my happiness by trying to become a better Buddhist in addition to being an overall better person in the world. Instead of doing one fold per month, I’m had to shuffle it around just a little, since, well, there’s 12 months in a year.

So here’s my plan starting now:

January and February
~Right Effort and Right Meditation

“Be authentic” is the overall goal of these months, but here are my goals and how I’ll try to accomplish them.

  • Outside chaos is inside chaos: declutter, organize, clean
  • Practice makes perfect, do it until it’s right: learn a new skill
  • 15 minute miracles: A.M. yoga, meditation P.M. talking, cleaning
  • Look good, feel good: dress for success
  • Meditate in a way that works for me: try different techniques

I want to focus on Right Effort because without this basis, all others are useless. By honing my efforts, making the “why” as specific as possible and reframing my basis to not only include things that make “me” happy, but also those around me. The other prong of The Path is Right Meditation. I chose to do these two items together because not only is it critical to have the right effort, but getting my head in the right space is also essential to creating positive, happy and lasting changes in life.

I think the first goal is pretty self explanatory and for those that have seen my desk in the office or my car, clutter and organization are huge issues for me. The second goal is really just a reaffirmation of the first one, to keep me on track with not only organization, but also my efforts in general.

Miracles

15-Minute-Miracles are something that I thought of the other day to describe how I want to accomplish things. I live an incredibly busy life, as most people do, with my job, my family, my last year of college and outside interests many things end up falling through the cracks. I am terribly forgetful, sometimes disorganized (I sort of live in a perpetual state of organized, rushed, complete chaos) and it leads to significant stress and unhappiness. My plan is that for 15 minutes each, everyday, I will do yoga because not only do I love it, but I always manage to avoid it in lieu of “real work” or some other tasks that need to be done. Meditate, because I’m terrible at it and find it truly difficult to center myself in a meaningful way. I need to try and find alternative ways to accomplish 15 minutes of calm each day. Talk with my wonderful fiance- face to face, television off- about whatever, just to take time to reconnect in a different way on a regular basis. And finally cleaning. In a busy life, something has to give, our dishes are usually that thing. We are not blessed to live in a place that has a dishwasher, so it’s hand washing and it’s not particularly fun. I think I’ll find it less of a mountainous task if I do a little bit each evening and it’ll help me find more peace in the kitchen, where I spend a lot of my free time. I love to cook.

Look good; feel good is something a friend of mine has said for years and while I wholeheartedly agree, I suffer from the “I don’t care” attitude, similar to that of a teenage boy. I work in a warehouse, so it’s not exactly the place to wear my good clothes, however, I spend an awful lot of time in class where I’m mistaken for an 18 year old that just rolled out of bed and put on the first wrinkled tee-shirt they could find. I am old enough to at least look like an adult. That is going to be rather difficult for me, I think. But other people taking me more seriously will be a great source of confidence, especially when I’m preparing for graduation.

The final goal is to find a method of meditation that works for me to find peace and clarity. Sitting meditation just isn’t something that interests me since I find it rather impossible to sit still for that long without clouding my mind with a flood of things that I could be or should be doing instead. Yup, I’m that person. I make mental lists of what I have to do or should be doing and then constantly mull it over and over in my head. But that is something I need to do, clear my mind, even it’s for only 15 minutes a day.

There’s my outline for the next two months.

I invite you to join me on this quest for happiness, share your progress, and embrace the challenges that come with growth. Let’s create a life of purpose and joy together!

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