Tag: cleaning

Day 4- Gratitude Project

I am writing this post a day later than I planned because my husband decided that we were going to have a full day without screens. No phones, no internet, no TV, no computers… nothing at all. The reason behind this “day without screens” stemmed from a card game we’ve been playing called “Sneaky Cards”, and there are action cards, interaction cards, and all sorts of other things. But the premise is that it gets you out of your comfort zone, interacting with other people…

So yesterday, I was grateful for the time that my family had together without the distraction of screens. We are so dependent on the computer and phone and tablet and ipod and whatever being attached to us at all times. It was liberating and at the same time a little uncomfortable to go to the store without my cell phone. I was mostly concerned that if I got into trouble, I would have no way of contacting help. I had my baby with me, so that was my main concern. However, we made it to the grocery store unscathed. I am grateful for that.

During the day without screens my husband dug a trench to fill with concrete and then he filled it with concrete after we went to the home improvement store. This is to prevent our Houdini dog from escaping the yard when we aren’t looking. She managed to escape twice in the last few days. I’m grateful she didn’t get far, didn’t get into anything serious, and was caught and quickly put back in the house. He also cleaned out the garage while I watched our little one and went to the grocery store. We had our meals together as a family at the table, instead of on the couch in front of the tv. We listened to music, read books, and just enjoyed our time together. I’m incredibly thankful for these moments.

After dinner, my husband called off the screen-free day. This was a little earlier than the card suggested, but I’m impressed at how long we went without really missing it. However, he was sore and tired, and just wanted to relax on the couch as a family. The baby crawled around the couch and floor while we talked and played with her. We watched an episode of a show we’re watching before we went out to water the garden. Soon after, I went to bed and they went to the park to meet up with some friends. I am grateful that we had such a fulfilling day, followed by me going to bed early. I had to work much earlier than normal today, so I am thankful for the little bit of baby-free rest. She wasn’t ready for bed when I was. I’m thankful that he took her to the park so that she was tired when they arrived home. I was able to nurse her to sleep right away and fall back to sleep myself. I’m grateful for the small things, and the big things.

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My name is [Blank], and my desk is a disaster…

If only there were some sort of magic wand that I could wave and this mess would just be organized. So, as ashamed of my dirty little secret as I am, I think acknowledging it is the first step to recovery. This picture is my area of the office that I share with my honey. His desk: generally clean… a few bits of paper, a pen or two, a stack of CDs and a few receipts from whatever, are the only things on it besides his computer. As you can see from the image here, mine is exactly the opposite. There’s nothing that will fit, that isn’t on this desk. There’s all the stuff from the trunk of my totaled car that’s been here for months (car was wrecked in November), school books, notebooks, papers, bags that I can’t manage to toss, cups and more cups, likely a plate or two (since I eat at my desk more times than not), clothes… you name it. I’ve got it in my little corner. It’s truly a sad state of affairs and I hate it.

However, in my defense, I am extraordinarily busy most of the time and just put things down only to either forget about them, set something else there or just procrastinate until it’s this heap of clutter. Hell, there’s even a book on, get this, ORGANIZATION, on this desk. Between the Buddha and the yoga mat. Sad, I know.

I’ve put this month’s goals into focus in the last few days and I realized that I’ve been really trying (and not doing so well) at tackling my 15 minutes of miracles. Really, those have been lacking and I think I need a new perspective. But given my busy schedule now that I’m back in school, ug… I’ve got to do something about this bloody desk. Even my backpack looks like this inside and I’ve been saying that I’m going to clean it out, but I’ve not found the time. I always manage to find something more important than dumping out the contents of my satchel (which, are a mighty lot of contents), mainly wrappers, receipts and schoolwork, to sort through the stuff I’m hoarding (yes, I said it) and stuff I actually need.

The rest of our home is quite tidy and minimalist, for the most part… I’ve got issues with where to put dirty laundry since we’re severely lacking in storage space and where I’ve decided my clothes can go is less than functional… but that’s another story altogether. Our home is not bare, it’s well furnished, but we just don’t have a lot of clutter to speak of. Just my desk and it makes me not only crazy, but it also makes me feel guilty. As I mentioned before… it’s my dirty little secret.

Anyway, I’ve decided to not focus so hard on the miracles that aren’t happening, but rather to tame the chaos. See, as I’ve also mentioned before, outside chaos is inside chaos. This is one of those little things I picked up along the way and it’s really stuck with me and proven to be absolutely right. Not just in the sense of clutter around the house, but also that in life. For instance, trouble in relationships or at work lead to great feelings of failure, unhappiness, hopelessness, helplessness and ultimately, chaos. So, in my mind if I tackle these sources of chaos, there will be less chaos around me, literally and figuratively. Today is Thursday, therefore, Saturday morning… my mission: Clean my freaking desk.

What other sources of chaos are around? Please add your comments or share your thoughts about clutter and chaos. Thanks for reading!

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Efforts in futility

I first want to begin by saying, I am not an animal hoarder. I say this because my honey and I each had two dogs and then we moved in together, which brings us to four dogs. Granted, two of them are Chihuahuas, there are still four of them. A few months ago I then had the bright idea that I missed having a cat, since my former cat was struck down by a car one night in front of my old house. It took me several years to come to terms with that and move on to wanting to bring a feline friend into our home.

This brings me to my topic this fine Phoenix morning. Futility. As I’m 100% sure parents of small children and others with packs of animals can attest, there are daily reminders in our lives that our efforts sometimes, are futile. Point in case: as one can imagine with four dogs of various ages and sizes… ranging from 10 years old and 65 pounds to 4 years old and a whopping 7 pounds… there’s politics. Especially when they’re all boys, save for the big, old Mama dog, all of our pets are boys. All but one of them are neutered (and that will be remedied in the near future), yet there’s still this godawful instinct to show dominance in the form of urine. I cannot explain this behavior, I’ve tried. We have literally tried everything short of outdoor quarantine, diapers or making a frantic phone call to that blasted Caesar Milan.

Parents that I know agree that cleaning up after young children is similar to cleaning up after dogs. JUST as you manage to pick up the last Lego, your little bundle of energy manages to have dragged out their Play-Doh or watercolors and has already made a mess. That’s kind of how I feel as I’m mopping in true OCD fashion at 5:30 in the morning. I’m sorry, but there’s something absolutely wretched about stepping in any liquid with socks on, let alone pee. Just saying. Add in a 6 month old kitten to this manic cleaning, and it’s a recipe for disaster. It takes an incredible amount of willpower to not smack the cat with a wet mop every time he crosses over the spot that I JUST CLEANED in an attempt to attack said mop, especially when my honey is blissfully in dream land in the next room. We live in a small house and noise travels pretty readily.

So as I’m furiously mopping the floor (shout out to Nature’s Miracle, Clorox, and my new string mop), there are dogs strewn about the floor and furniture and I’m just going around them in a feverish attempt to “just get the big areas” so that I can focus on getting ready for work, and here comes the cat. He’s stalking the mop, behind the leg of the coffee table… then pounces! Behind the leg of the bar…. then pounces! Behind the stove… then pounces! All the while tracking dirt through my freshly cleaned (though panickedly so) floors. This my friends, is futility.

A good friend of mine, rest his soul, years ago was talking about when he first came to Buddhism. It was after he was hired as a security official to protect a monastery in the western outskirts of Phoenix where there was a horribly tragic rampage where several monks lost their lives. He was raised Baptist and was Agnostic at best at this time in his life, but found something in this temple that brought him to the Dharma. He began attending this particular temple after his duties as security were over. One day he was raking the rock garden there and every time he raked the whole garden, there were still more leaves where he’d just raked. He went to the leaves and raked them up. Then there were still more leaves. He raked those. And more. Rake. And yet more. Rake. One of the monks came by as he was feverishly raking for at least the fifth time and in a fit of frustration he asked the monk what to do about the leaves. The monk replied, “The tree has leaves. They will fall. This is karma.” My friend: “What do leaves have to do with my karma?” Monk: “Maybe it’s not just your karma.” My friend took a moment to contemplate that statement and then put the rake away.

Futility. There will always be leaves. Do your best and move on. Breathe.

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