Tag: creativity

2017

As I sit here enjoying my coffee on the eve of the new year, I’m compelled as many are, to reflect and imagine.

2017 was a challenging year for many of us in a variety of ways: politically, socially, and more. I’ve experienced this year as a roller coaster, for sure. However, roller coasters are usually much more enjoyable.

I have created the framework for my employment future, lost longtime friends in the process. I’ve struggled in many ways, but also experienced such joy that my heart felt like it could explode. I’ve never been so focused, while simultaneously distracted.

For a lot of people, this seems to have been the year of dichotomy, opposition, and imbalance. My sincere wish is that 2018 bears no resemblance to this year, and only provides opportunity for growth, prosperity, and success for everyone.

I do not have a concrete plan for 2018, as I have in years past. Instead, I’m going to continue to strive for positivity, love, and prosperity. I wish all of my readers and beyond the happiest of New Years. Hopefully next year, I’ll be able to write more regularly, but that is an ongoing battle, as we all know. Thank you for your continued support. đź’ś

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Cycles

5 years ago today, I wrote a blog on honesty. It can be found here.

Today, I wrote something personal, and now, I’m writing something public.

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The oddity of cycles is something I’ve always been fascinated by. I find it fascinating that I have similar life experiences during the same times of year, often times, for many years. Similar things happen to people during similar times. It’s pretty weird.

Looking back to where I was last year, the year before, 4-6 years ago, I have the same heavy heart. So many things are happening to where life is squarely “in flux”, but the timing could be crappier. I’ve got a lot of important dates in the summer and all I want to do is nothing, or at least swim my life away. I want to spend time with those I love, and not be worried about stupid adult obligations. My heart is full of love, but heavy from the weight of life. It’s enough to consume a person. But at the same time, I feel hollow and empty.

So the questions are this: 1) What does this all have to do with happiness, since this is a happiness blog, after all? And 2) What does honesty have to do with anything?

To answer #1, it’s really quite simple. Happiness is not just the act of thinking positively, or acting happy all the time. It’s striking the balance between what we want, what we are, and where we are in life.  Which leads to #2: Being honest with yourself is the first step toward being honest with the world. Living as your authentic self and representing yourself honestly and kindly to the world are just as important as only allowing the truth escaping your lips. It’s a tight rope to walk and if you’re not careful, you will end up on the pavement. It’s difficult to keep going when the rope wobbles, but once you’re out on the rope, you are at risk, and you can go forward or backwards, but it’s extremely difficult to stand still. Standing still is certain death, and it’s not respecting the rope (life) or the walk. Only when we live honestly and authentically in all things, while walking gently through this life can we really appreciate that the wobbles remind us that we’re alive.

What would we learn if things were easy? If we just walked through each day without resistance? First, it would be boring as shit, and second, we would never learn a thing about ourselves or about the world. We’d never have the opportunity to find our inner selves, our inner strength, the strength to keep moving forward… so many things would be lost without turbulence.

During times of stress and chaos, I find myself trying to reflect on these ideals. It brings life back into perspective and reminds me that I’m still learning and that I’m still alive. I don’t “feel” alive some days, but it’s only when I’m just going through the motions. Don’t just go through the motions.

Thanks for reading!

 

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Intelligence and the gift

I came across a brief video online today about the 6 things that prevent intelligent people from being happy. Of course, considering myself a smart person, I watched it. It was less than a minute long, because, come on now. There’s no way we’ve got time in our busy lives to watch something much longer than a minute.

Anyway, the following things are what this video (substantiated by unknown sources):

  • Overthinking
  • Having high standards
  • Being hard on oneself
  • Reality isn’t enough (always looking for meaning, lessons, or purpose)
  • Feeling alone or misunderstood
  • Higher IQ’s have been linked to psychological issues like anxiety and depression

So of course, since I’m an intelligent person, all of these things resonate with me. I am notorious for basically every single thing on this list. But the question is, does it inhibit my happiness to a certain degree? You betcha. All the time.

I agonize about virtually all aspects of my life, internally and externally. It’s an impossible position. I can never be good enough, nor can anyone else. Every single misstep, I turn it over and over and over and over in my mind. All the things that I should have said differently, done differently. Every bit of it. It’s extremely stressful to be human. I feel as though it cannot possibly be just me who does this. Other people, regardless of intellect, MUST have a similar human experience, right?

I watched another brief video the other day about sacrifice versus “giving”. For instance, giving your time to a cause that you feel passionate about is a gift. But feeling obligated to go to a function because it’s expected of you is sacrificing your happiness or your desires, which is placing you as a victim, rather than a benefactor of your time and energy. This also struck a chord with me. I often find myself in situations in which I feel pressured to attend or to do something that I’m not particularly interested in. Like going to a birthday party where I am going to be ignored by the hosts because other guests are “more demanding” and require doting, where I will not know anyone else, or the other attendees are generally unpleasant to me.

Attending this party feels forced. I’m not going to enjoy myself, and the other people around me aren’t going to be enjoying my presence. It’ll be awkward and lame for us all. However, because I feel guilty and other people place blame on me for “not supporting” the person who’s birthday it is. So I go to the thing. I sit there quietly, until it’s acceptable for me to quietly bow out. This is sacrificing my time, my energy, and my dignity, since I am a grown-ass woman who cannot set and maintain healthy boundaries with people.

Meanwhile, the same weekend there’s another birthday party. This party I’m excited about. This one is for a person that I really enjoy spending time with. I also like their family, who will also be attending. These folks like me and my family. We can sit and bullshit for hours and I love it. I literally cannot get enough of this group of people. This is a gift. I’m receiving a gift by attending. I get the gift of surrounding myself with people who appreciate my presence not only at their party, but also in their lives. Not only do they bring value to my life, but I theirs.

Being of value is something that I personally hold very dear. I don’t buy things that I do not need, because the things I purchase must bring value to my life. They must be useful and enrich my life in some way. I feel the same about the people in our lives. If they don’t enrich us and make us better people, they are a sacrifice, not a gift. Constantly sacrificing for the sake of others leaves us hollow shells. It does not give us the opportunity to enrich the lives of others or to bring value to those around us. We cannot share our gifts, and that is a shame indeed.

Sunrise
4:45am
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Good things happen to bad people…

I often find myself wondering exactly how it is that bad things happen to some of the most wonderful people and how great things can happen to some of the Earth’s most abhorrent.

I have this overwhelming sense that the world should be “fair” but simply isn’t and shit happens to people who are largely undeserving. Recently I read an article that tackled this exact thing. So, part of the hangup about bad things happening to good people is that we see the world as “just” or have a deep sense of “justice”, and good things for bad people is contrary to that ideal. However, this article posits that YES, the world is in fact “fair”. Simply put, the Law of Attraction- we create our own reality.

In essence, even if horrible people BELIEVE they are deserving of good things, they’ll get them. And on the flip side, if amazing people BELIEVE they’re not worthy of all that the universe has to offer, they’ll simply attract the negative things they worry about. Like attracts Like.

Now, the rationalist in me says that’s total bullshit, because again, justice. I mean, I cannot fathom that when horrible things happen: poverty, assault, kidnapping, murder, etc. these people are “asking for it” in the form of attracting it with their “vibrations”. That simply cannot reconcile in my head. At the same time, I’ve seen people quite literally manifest miracles out of thin air. The dream job, a sudden windfall, and more, have fallen into the laps of people, myself included.

So that really begs the question: Why cannot good things happen to only the “good” people? This is assuming that the construct of good and bad are based on sort of the collective conscious that things like rape, murder, theft, lying, etc are bad and charity, selflessness, joy, service, honesty, trust, etc are good things. Are they just not positive enough about themselves?

The article goes on to point out horrible employees as an example. How is it that shitty people who do nothing but brag, step on others, are disrespectful, and more manage to be continually promoted and held in high regard within organizations? It’s because they are CONVINCED that they’re great, so much so that they never shut up about their achievements, and they truly BELIEVE they deserve it, despite their clear character flaws. Whereas the “good” people, tend to be humble, with a deep sense of humility and candor. Rather than bragging and stepping on others, they will generally SHARE the accolades with their teams, or humbly and quietly stay out of the limelight.

So, my natural train of thought is how can one be humble and true to oneself, while also attracting good things? In other words, how can I gain and still not be a dick? Personally, I’ve found this a tough balance to walk. I am not one to brag about my achievements, but at the same time, I know that I am deserving of good things. I’m convinced that I still need to work on shifting my mindset to really solidify my stance that A) I am deserving of all the good things the universe has to offer and B) That I can still be humble while knowing this fact.

Thanks for reading!

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Fight or flight

It has become increasingly difficult to focus on my day job. Not only am I bored by the tasks and lack of opportunity for growth, but I also have so many other things in the works. I am working on becoming my own boss and business owner and trying to maintain some shred of hope, given the political climate in this country.

I’ve never felt such a direct and opposite “pulling” force between my fight and flight sides. Part of me wants to try and keep some semblance of the life I lead, to not lose hope, to fight the good fight and create the life I am meant for. But on the other hand, there is something strongly pulling me away from all that, telling me that my family is more important and getting them the hell out of this dumpster before it blows sky high. I just want to run away somewhere safe and hope there’s a life to come back to in four years.

Between social media and the mainstream media, I’m overwhelmed and saddened. The alternative media is equally disheartening. We are living in a very sad time for human rights and social responsibility. It can be paralyzing, and right now, I feel paralyzed with glimmers of motivation and action. It simply weighs heavy on my heart that the world is not shaping up to be a place where people are free to love and marry whomever they choose, that health is only for the wealthy, and that life is largely not affordable for those that work for a living. It is saddening. And those of us that were working toward those things, hoping beyond hope for those things, are devastated. The feeling is real.

Finding happiness in the destruction of everything we hold dear as a nation borders on impossible. The only thing keeping my head above water is my physical and moral obligation to not fuck up for my kid. She knows nothing of the world, of politics. She is content being a toddler and little else. She loves her parents, her pets, eating snacks, and good music. If only everything were that simple. But her smile makes my day worth the struggle. What else is there? My husband, gardening, pets that we care for… they’re the crux of my life. They are the catalyst to happiness, since happiness comes from within. My family makes me want to be a better person, to keep waking up every day, and to be happy when it’s appropriate.

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