Tag: creativity

Wake Up

When I typed in “bed”, to search for a photo to go at the top of this entry, there were quite a few clocks similar to the one I chose above. It’s very strange that searching for a bed, I get a clock. However, it’s rather fitting, given the title.

Waking up, is quite literally the very first thing we do each day. Not “being awake”, as to many of us “awake” is a much different state than “waking up”. For a large portion of us, the thing letting us know that IT IS TIME, is often a loud thing in our ears. Whether it’s an alarm clock, a child, pet, or partner, something jolted us from asleep, to awake.

I, personally, take issue with this jolting part. I’m sure many others do too. However, unlike many people, at least in my life, I do not like snoozing. I typically, if left to my own devices, just get up when I wake up. Recently, my partner has been quite persuasive in encouraging me to remain in our warm, comfy bed a few minutes longer than I would otherwise. I silently think he’s using it to feel better about himself snoozing a bit extra, but don’t tell him I said that. ;)

In reality though, I tend to oversleep and wind up rushing, rather than allowing myself a few extra moments of relaxation before stepping out the front door. When you have a small child, spare minutes are really helpful. Especially since my kiddo is a sleeper. She will sleep 10 hours or more if I let her. Unfortunately, like her father, she’s also a night owl. I’m an early bird, so her bedtime is early, because she has school and I have work. Also, she takes forever to wake up more days than not. It’s annoying trying to coax a preschooler out of bed at 6am, without a major fight.

I know there are some kids like me, and you are all my people. I’ve never been a sleeper, not even during my partiest of party years. I was always on time for work, even after virtually or actually zero sleep the night(s) before. I wasn’t even a sleepy child. But I think the reasons for that are more anxiety related, and maybe they still are.

Which leads me to discuss the real topic of today’s blog. The sleeping habits of my family was merely a segue.

There’s a new culture about that’s gained popularity and a name. Woke. I’m by no means an expert on popular culture in any fashion, but I pay attention to things. Woke culture seems to be heavily intersecting with Call-out culture which has shone a light on a number of really great things, but I also think that they can be really damaging in certain contexts.

Trust me when I say that I’m an absolute advocate for human, animal, and environmental rights. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life as an activist, but part of me wonders, what happened exactly to letting others do their own thing, as long as they’re not hurting anyone else? I had a teacher in high school say that my rights as a person end at the tip of my nose, or that my rights do not extend to a place where yours are being infringed upon. So, who are people that are telling me that I’m wrong for doing X,Y, or Z, if it’s not affecting them in any way? I’m just over here, doing my thing.

If I’m over here being an asshole, I fully deserve to be called out, but if I have purple hair (which I do at 38 yrs old), who cares? If my partner and I have tattoos and have the nerve to swim in a public pool, who gives a shit? Why do people suddenly feel entitled to give me or him or anyone else flack for that?

The short answer: you don’t. Knock it off. End of discussion. Pretty simple. Stop it. The end.

But meanwhile there’s politicians trying to legislate women’s bodies, the rights of trans people, and profiteering from war and gun violence. There’s something seriously wrong with this. If you want to call anyone out, let’s call out our legislators. Call your congressmen and women. Get woke to real shit and let’s be working toward equality and rights for us all. Instead, there’s a bunch of infighting, bickering, and worse. Knock it off. Your rights end at the end of your nose. You don’t get to be in charge of anyone else’s body, mind, rights, etc. Stop it. End of discussion.

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Manifesting Destiny

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

While listening to a book by Wayne Dyer, he said something to the effect of “There is nothing humans can dream, that they can’t conceive”.

Anyone who has taken 9th grade U.S. history knows that the United States was colonized based on a term coined “Manifest Destiny”. Simply put, god told some guys that they had to do it. They had to colonize from coast to coast, because it was their destiny.

Do I think that the universal creator (whomever that might be) gave the impetus to drive Westward, pillaging and destroying everything in their path, losing countless lives on all sides of the mandate? Not a chance. Do I think a pack of dudes got together and said, “out there is the great unknown and we think that it should be ours, no matter the costs”? Absolutely.

Now, what do these things have in common, since Wayne Dyer is the last person I’d think of when I consider forcible anything? Humans thought of a thing and made it happen. They created their destiny and created what they saw before them. These colonizers had zero idea of what they could expect to find, they had no clue how far away it was, or even IF the other coast really existed. They basically just went for it, sight unseen.

Manifestation is the same thing, at its core. We think of a thing, and work towards it, with nothing more than the picture we see in our heads of what it might be like. Then we create something to that effect, in our own reality.

I know there are infinite people out there preaching the gospel of “The Law of Attraction” and “Manifesting“. There are countless gurus for one to choose from, should you be interested in any of these kinds of things. I’m certainly not claiming to be one. But what I can say, is that I’ve moved mountains in my own life by believing that it’s possible, and busting ass toward whatever it was that I was looking to achieve. The key is to have faith that you can do a thing, that the thing is in your grasp, and that you’re laser focused on making that thing a reality in your life. Simple, right?

Not always. Manifesting requires a singular focus on a thing you want. Everything that you do, say, and think has to be toward that end. I’ve tried a whole bunch of techniques to hone my focus, and depending on the thing I’m working towards, sometimes the technique can change. Sometimes I meditate on the thing or use a gratitude list/journal. Other times, I post affirmations that remind me of the path I’m trying to stay on. Regardless of HOW you focus, the point is THAT you focus on the end goal, that you’re unwavering in the fact that it is already yours (it’s just not in your hands yet), and HOW you get there is not even remotely important. I know from my own experience, the path to attaining a goal is NEVER what I imagined it would be. It’s virtually never a straight line. There are course deviations, detours, and roadblocks along the way. Potholes abound. However, the trick, is never giving up and staying the course until the goals are realized in your life.

I’m still new to positive focus and “manifesting”, for lack of a better term. But I can say that looking back, I’ve had some really wonderful successes that I may not have realized were exactly the same as the techniques I’m learning along the journey. Is that to say I’m independently wealthy? Nope. Working my dream job? Uh uh. Have the 6-pack abs I’ve always dreamed of? Hardly. However, I am stronger, healthier, happier, and wealthier than I was six months ago. I’m also armed with the knowledge that I can be self-employed, that I can create something beautiful out of positively nothing, and I have the universe on my side with everything that I do.

By no means does that mean I’m on cloud 9. I still have real life to deal with. Not everything is roses. I have a lot of struggles, debt up to my eyeballs from a closed business, and all the daily bullshit of life (like traffic and preschool meltdowns). But HOW I SEE THEM, has changed drastically. I see all these things as lessons and methods of guiding me toward the path I’m seeking. I feel less stressed, more patient (though, I lose my patience often. I’m working on it), and generally more optimistic than I was previously. It’s good. And most importantly, I FEEL good. That’s what really matters, right? I feel good. Hopeful. Generous. Grateful. Challenged. And most of all, I feel love, all around me and within me, radiating out. Now, THAT, is what really matters.

Thanks for reading.

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The Art of Success

beach ocean sand sea
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

If anyone is familiar with the culture of daytime soap operas, you can appreciate “Like sand through an hourglass, these are The Days of Our Lives”. As someone who has watched sand be washed away by the sea for countless hours, I can appreciate the metaphor of sifting and shifting sand as a description of life. While an hourglass and the beach are vastly different arenas, the movement of these small pebbles is quite patterned.

Sand, whether wet or dry, moves in a seemingly haphazard way. However, it takes on different properties regardless. Nevertheless, it shifts, settles, and shifts again. Watching how it fills with sea water and rides the current is so simple, but equally entrancing. I can watch the sea forever and never tire of it. What is interesting, and the point of the featured photo for this blog post, is that you can ruin the beach, write your name in the sand, dig deep holes for water to invade and fill, you can build castles with moats, whatever you like. But the power of water in its simplicity but extreme force, will eventually dull the largest of mountains. This is always the way.

So how do we measure success in this ever shifting landscape around us? Is it money? Name recognition? Power? Longevity?

For me, it’s hard to determine what I view as “success”, simply because I don’t feel like I’ve truly achieved it. In infinite ways, I’ve reached success, but I never feel successful. I feel as though much of what I’ve accomplished is expected. I should not get a trophy for adulting. Kudos are reserves for those who’ve done something remarkable. I’ve merely played the game most of my life, and have done some things.

When I owned a marginally reputable business, it was reputable not because we were flush with cash. We were the only one of our kind in the area of the country where we were located. That’s basically it. I believe we achieved some really cool things, and looking back, I can say we did everything that I set out to do from the very beginning. But we exploded, and quick. With a force I never could have expected. And at the same time my personal life was imploding. Talk about timing.

Since then, I’ve sold virtually everything I own, packed up what was left of my dignity and moved across the country with my roommate and kiddo (plus all the companion animals anyone could ever want). We scraped and carved out a new life in the last few months that doesn’t even vaguely remember the previous one. But was I successful? What the hell was I trying to accomplish? Did I even come close?

I haven’t a clue.

What I can say is that I feel more at peace with myself. I feel more connected to the folks around me in meaningful ways (with the exception of some of my close friends at the old business). I am making more money now, than I ever did in our old city, doing basically the same things I was before I started a business. The financial consequences of a closed business still are looming, but I’m slowly chipping away at them, as time progresses. Does this make me successful? Does it make me a “coulda been”? Or even worse, does it make me a “has been”? These are the questions that roll around in my head while I’m battling insomnia, which thankfully, is not as much of as issue as it was in my previous life.

I think regardless of being successful or not, I am happy with this current incarnation of myself and my life. My kiddo is thriving in ways I never considered. Our roommate is advancing rapidly in her career, where her previous location was stifling her at every turn. I even have a partner who is doing better than he’s ever done in his career. We are all doing amazingly well, in short order. I truly believe that we all had to go through our darkest times, to appreciate the beautiful lives we’ve created recently. I am genuinely grateful that the universe forced me into making drastic, sweeping changes. Life, albeit incredibly difficult, is wonderful.

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How do you do anything?

close up photo of water drops
Photo by Markus Spiske temporausch.com on Pexels.com

I watched some TED talks this weekend, and there were some memorable quotes. One of which really resonated with me. “How you do anything is how you do everything”. Wow. That’s really deep, if you ask me. The depth of this statement goes on further to say, that if you plan to get up at a certain time, you don’t hit snooze. If you do, that’s a true reflection of how you live your life. It’s fundamental quality is that you cannot follow through, therefore you will be stuck in the same mindframe, until you decide otherwise.

Another TED talk mentioned that it takes the exact same amount of energy to get out of bed, as it does to do anything else in your life. You have to consciously decide that you will not hit snooze, will yourself to open your eyes, and put your feet on the floor, taking that first step towards the door. It’s all the same energy and strength. It takes the same determination and character. (Side note- who are these people that have such a struggle getting up in the morning? Seriously.)

What I took from these talks and a number of others is that we have to make conscious decisions on how we will interact with the world around us, and how we interact with ourselves. Living authentically, doing and saying things congruently, are of vital importance to your mind and spirit. It’s what makes us happy, by living our truth, and it sets the stage for what we will allow in our lives, positive or negative. If you want to get fit and not take the steps to do that, it’s all lip service with no action.

This is one I’m guilty of lately. I’ve been talking about getting a gym membership for weeks now, and I’ve yet to do it. I have been finding excuses and while some might be valid (not having the money to start up), others are less valid. For instance, not “having time”, or “it’s inconvenient today” are some of the excuses I’ve run around in my head lately. Yes, I’ve been busy with work and family, but there’s no reason I cannot spare an hour of my life, take the kiddo to the kids care area, and burn off some energy.  It’s just the story I’m telling myself, while I simultaneously lament that I’m “so out of shape”. I really am, however, going to hit the gym this week. It’s important for my health and mental well-being. I’ve procrastinated too long and I’m not screwing around with it anymore.

But that’s just it. How much happier would we be if we just lived our truths? I know the moment I stopped giving a shit about living the life that other people expected from me, I was infinitely happier, and it just keeps getting better. It’s important for us as humans to be authentic and to live and speak our truths. Living against our true nature will literally eat you from the inside, out. So many of us have anxiety, depression, physical ailments that are from stress. That’s not to discount chemical imbalances, by any means. But often, people harbor feelings we aren’t in a place that we can act on, or worse, feelings and creativity that we stuff down inside ourselves to live some other life. It’s crazy. I’m done doing it, are you?

Thanks for reading.

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Bliggity Blog

joy painting brush
Photo by Bekka Mongeau on Pexels.com

Life is funny sometimes all the time. It certainly sucks less when you approach it with a sense of humor.

This week has been challenging and I could have definitely changed how I reacted in a few situations. But I’m human and still learning and growing. I’ve made an internal promise that I will no longer talk to myself in a way that I would not talk to a person close to me. I’ve even done my best to curb the internal dialogue in my head, the one that loves to concoct stories about my worth, which are simply not true. I’ve also fallen short of my goal of four times per week, writing this blog. I am fully aware that I have made a few choices to do something else with my time, and am not beating myself about it, as I would have in the past. Again, human being, with humans in my life that also require and deserve my attention.

In positive news, we here have decided to make some healthy, positive changes to our daily routines. The primary one is getting a gym membership at the local YMCA. I’ve been out of competitive sports for a number of years and I have decided that my sedentary lifestyle as of late, is creating problems in my psyche. I have been using time and childcare as a crutch for why I couldn’t work out, and finances are finally lining up the way they’re supposed to. This Y also has a daycare center onsite, which will be really convenient when my temporary work assignment ends. Additionally, when the weather is garbage in the upper midwest, we will have a nearby place to workout and warm up.

I’m really excited to have something to do in the evenings that isn’t dealing with pets and home and nonsense adult things. Instead, we can be active, and do things that are healthy for our minds and spirits. My partner is potentially less excited than me, but he will live. The kiddo doesn’t even know what it means, but she’s going to the gym to hang out with other kids. And learn to swim. That’s also something I’m very excited about. She needs to know how to swim for so many reasons. We live in a state where “lake life” is a real thing. Oddly enough, after living in a sun state for several years, she still doesn’t know how to independently.

In addition to having a rad place to exercise close to home, we are just doing our best to live our best lives and be good humans. I’ve been doing everything I can to be positive and patient with all things and people who cross my path. Being grateful has helped significantly with all these things. I’ve been listening to tons of audiobooks from the library website, which has added enrichment to my days, and provided much insight into humanity. This habit has allowed me to focus on a number of things that I’m working on. And that makes me happier in general.

Thanks for reading.

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