Tag: food

Dear Advice Columnist…

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How many of us have read an advice column? How many have even considered (or actually done it!) written into one, asking a complete stranger for help on a problem we are facing? I can raise my hand on that one. Both hands, actually. How many of us reach out to trusted friends or family for guidance when our brains and/or hearts are not working for us? Yeah, me too. What’s interesting about advice, is that many times we are simply looking for validation of an answer or decision that we’ve already come to on our own. So rarely we trust our intuition on these things, and it’s for infinite reasons. This is by no means a judgement, because I’ve done my fair share of all these things and will likely do them in the future.

For a number of years, I had a very close friend that I called my Spiritual Advisor. He’s older and much wiser than I. He and I are not as close as we once were, but relationships can be that way sometimes. I still adore him and value his presence not only as my friend, but as a human on this earth. He is an invaluable resource for knowledge and insight. Why I bring this up is that I could go to him with anything. It could be something stupid that a 25 year old girl would ask, or it could be some sort of deep and metaphysical inquiry. Either way, he was a seasoned individual that I still, implicitly, trust with my life. Not everyone has a person like this in their lives, and I’m aware just how very blessed I have been to have several people that I love, honor me with their guidance.

It’s become increasingly clear that I am this person to several of my close friends too. Maybe not to quite to that degree, but I’ve been increasingly humbled by the fact that those in my circle trust me enough that my opinion matters to them. I think as I’ve grown older and wiser myself, many of the lessons from my Spiritual Advisor have really begun to sink into my skull and become truths in my life. I find myself remembering seeds of wisdom he imparted on me over a decade ago, and I get to share them with people I love. This is something that has been weighing on my mind as of late as well. I get to share what I know about life and all the things with people I love.

I have lived a number of lifetimes in this body, as I’ve mentioned previously on this blog. Some of these lives I barely remember, simply because I’ve stacked life on top of those old days that no longer serve me. However, I’m inclined to get back in touch with those old lives and memories. I feel as if, while they might be painful to recall, I have to believe that I have the skills to overcome whatever might rise up from the recollection and it will give me the opportunity to grow from the experiences once again. It’s not often that people can learn from their lessons multiple times, or would choose to. But I’m ready to put that to the test, at some point.

In the meantime, I’ve been consuming as much as I’m able to about all kinds of topics. I currently have five audiobooks checked out from the library, and at least 25 more in my wish list. That’s not even to account for the dozen or so I’ve got on hold, for when they come available. It’s crazy to think how many books I’ve blown through recently. However, I’ve found a few topics that I’m just CONSUMED by lately, and there’s a lot of books on each of them widely available. I’m so grateful for good authors and narrators. An outstanding narrator is really an unsung hero, in my eyes.

If you are fortunate enough to have someone in your life that is a resource for advice and support, I’m so happy for you and hope that it only grows. If not, my heart goes out to you, and genuinely hope that you find the guidance that you seek in a person or some other format, be it book, audiobook, column, etc. I also send everyone reading love and light.

Thanks for reading.

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Patterns, and Choices, and More. Oh my!

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Whomever thought to give humans free will was the architect of the cruelest and sickest joke of all time. In reality, we have little more than patterns we’ve learned and a few sucky choices. When presented with a tough choice, how many times have they been choices you’re excited or happy about? I can’t think of many examples. Freedom of choice is also often paralyzing for humans. Our paleo brains are just not wired to choose between 17 types of cereal.

More to my point though, is that we typically fall prey to our patterns. It could be subconscious, environmental, or learned patterns from our upbringing or elsewhere. Despite our best efforts, humans fall into these patterns and it’s incredibly challenging, even under the best circumstances and motivations, to break them.

For instance, one of my patterns, and there are many I’ve identified, is that when things get overwhelming, too stressful, or intense, I shut down. That’s right. Brain off, decision making ability, higher cognitive processes, all shut off. I sometimes get a glazed look over my eyes and have a hard time speaking coherently. Obviously, this is an extreme example of what happens under real duress for me. Yet, I’ve tried to work through it, because typically these situations are predicated by an extreme argument with someone in my close circle. Though, I’ve made little more than a dent. It’s possible I learned this as a child, or young adult, or it could also be the result of PTSD due to an abusive relationship in my late 20’s. Regardless of WHERE, the WHAT still remains.

I have read countless books on joy, happiness, shame, guilt, and more human behaviors than I can shake a stick at. Still, I fall prey to conditioning and thought patterns. Even this blog is an example. When life gets complicated, I take some time away, rather than leaning in to my writing.

When I’m tired and hungry, I get short tempered, and lash out when people frustrate me. When my dogs are being jerks, I have my “go-to” reaction of putting them in their kennels until they settle down, rather than sussing out the problem. Humans are too stretched and too overwhelmed to deal with some of our problems of modernity, so to cut corners, we fall into patterns.

Stereotypes are a prime example for patterns, because in groups of people, our brains seek out the similarities, as exactly a shortcut. These shortcuts become wired into our neurons because it’s easier than forming new ones all the time. As we keep using those neuro-pathways, we strengthen them, creating even more difficulty breaking the thought cycles. Quite literally, it’s how we are wired over and over again.

Contrary to all this, it’s been my personal mission to “go the other way”. Yes, I fall into conditioned responses and trust me when I say, I’m a creature of habit. However, I do my absolute best to be on the other side of these things. I have spent enough time in therapy to recognize that while I WANT to run away when things get messy, I call it out, as I’m doing here right now, and go the other way. I want to LEAN IN, instead of running away. It’s important that we do things that we are uncomfortable doing as often as possible (safety concerns notwithstanding). Breaking those habits, creating new neuro-pathways, and MAKING DIFFERENT CHOICES is how we grow and change. It’s how we become better people by and large. That’s one of my personal missions, becoming better than I was yesterday. We do that by making the hard choices to go the other way whenever possible and forming new pathways to travel in our heads.

Today, I choose happy instead of comfortable. I choose love over anger and frustration.

Thanks for reading.

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Equalizer

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As I have said many times over the last many years, pain is the great equalizer. Yes, each of us has a pain threshold that differs from the next person. However, when we experience it, it shows us really what we’re made of. Some people live with chronic pain and others experience acute bouts of it. The point is, that everyone will at some point feel pain in their lives. It could be emotional pain, or physical, but nevertheless, it will happen. That is what I mean by “equalizer”.

The Buddha, while he was still Prince Siddhartha, witnessed pain, suffering, old age, and death when he escaped the palace and went into the village. He realized in those moments that we will all experience these difficulties. After this eye opener, he was determined to find the path out of suffering. Without getting too in depth, the path to ending suffering is ending attachment. That doesn’t mean that one doesn’t care. Quite the contrary. Instead, it removes the need to attach yourself to the outcome. It compels us to all be compassionate, but not attach our feelings and mental state to how things turn out.

This is a tall order when we are pack animals, with deep ties to our friends and families. Even more so when we are so distracted by social and traditional media outlets. We are constantly presented with opportunities to be outraged, shamed, heartbroken, saddened, and so many more emotions. And in many cases, we should be those things and try to alleviate the sufferings of others. But, damn. It’s exhausting. It’s really difficult in the modern world to care, or to care without attachment to the things we care about.

When people around me are hurt or upset, it’s my natural instinct to apologize for their suffering and to offer to help in some way. In many cases, that is all we can do. Even if there’s nothing practical that can be “done”, I still put out the offer.

Today has been the great equalizer in our home. There has been a lot of pain in the last 24 hours, both physical and emotional. It’s hard to say what will make it better. Currently, there’s nothing to bring ease to the sufferings. But as my friend said, we will figure it out. We always do. I don’t know that I’m able to find 100 more words for this entry. Tomorrow is another day, I suppose. Now, to remove myself from the outcome.

Thanks for reading.

 

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The Universe

When I searched Universe on dictionary.com, this is what came back.
*NOUN
(the universe)
  1. all existing matter and space considered as a whole; the cosmos. The universe is believed to be at least 10 billion light years in diameter and contains a vast number of galaxies; it has been expanding since its creation in the Big Bang about 13 billion years ago.

When you break the word into it’s corresponding parts you get the following:

*Uni- one; having or consisting of one.

*Verse- denoting an area of activity or interest or a section of society distinguished by a particular characteristic. <there are many definitions of verse relating to poetry and writing, but they simply don’t apply to what I’m trying to discuss in this post.>

What does Uni- Verse really mean though? One place. One activity. Singular. The only one. There are some theories about multi-verses, but honestly I just don’t know enough about that sort of stuff to posit an educated response to them. So for the purpose of this entry, I am going to focus on One-Ness.

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As a spiritual being, I call our Source, or what other people refer to as God, The Universe. It is the place from which we all came. The startdust, the energy, the “matter” from which we are all part of and connected to, was found in the cosmos before we were created. If you believe in Intelligent Design, or the Big Bang… we were all born out of “nothingness” and created into “somethingness”. What we do with this precious life we’ve been granted, is entirely up to us to create.

What do you spend your time creating? I choose to create a life filled with love, harmony, gratitude, respect, dignity, protection, service, honesty, tenacity, diligence, and so many more things. All of them are positive and focused on being the best person I can be, and doing everything in my human power to teach and guide and love those around me. I am constantly left in awe of the human spirit and tenacious ability to overcome adversity. We are such marvelous creatures and we can do anything. We simply have to believe it, and stop at nothing to do it.

The singularity, the one-ness that we all share is often called the collective conscious or humanity. But I believe that it is so much deeper than that. I genuinely believe that we are all interconnected. By the stardust and the energy that flows through us, we are connected with everyone and everything that has ever been created. We are part of the earth, the trees, the fish, the streams, the air, the cosmos. We are quite literally interconnected with all things, seen and unseen in the universe. It’s until we recognize this, that we feel separate, alone, and isolated. Until we realize that we could not be more wrong about being “individuals”, we will never truly reach our potential.

The potential for us to reach enlightenment, heaven, salvation… it’s the infinite, ultimate achievement. Or is it? Obviously, these questions are unanswerable by just a regular person like me. But it’s something to consider, without dogma attached. We need to consider how we behave on this plane of existence, and not concern ourselves with only the after-life, though. Because what we do here is what determines after-life in many faith traditions. You’re not guaranteed salvation if you’re a dick to people on earth, sorry to say. You will never reach the pinnacle of consciousness if you suck as a person. You cannot buy your way into heaven, not by tithing, not by playing lip service to the whatever. You have to be a good person to gain access to the good things we are promised by religion. If you don’t subscribe to a religion, that’s cool too. You’re still not allowed to be a dirtbag, a jerk, or any other sort of jackass. What you do on this planet affects us all. We are all interconnected. We are in this together, forever and ever. Remember this, and take it to heart. Everyone will be better for it, yourself included.

Thank you for reading.

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Day 22- Gratitude Project 

Today I’m grateful for vegan cookbooks. I’m thankful that other people have painstakingly discovered recipes that they care to share with the world, so that we may feed ourselves and our families. 

Because of these recipes being readily available, I have been able to learn countless ways to create meals for my family. I’m thankful to these pioneers for teaching me how to make dinners, lunches, and more on a regular basis. Tonight we had veggie burgers, made from scratch, in about 10 minutes. 

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