First, let’s recap on the craziness that has been life since the new year: Enjoying my school-free days, spending time with my honey and planning stuff, working super long hours to pay for impeding plans and vacations, skating as often as I can with my growing team, training my new employees, and the most recent bit of crazy news… I applied and got accepted into a graduate program. I start next month. This will make the next year or so interesting with all the other things happening, but I’m excited that they have faith in me and see potential in my goals enough to accept me into the program. It’s a private school, so the selection process is rather strict. But I didn’t have to take the GRE, I just had to have good grades and a few other things during my undergrad. Finally! Being a nerd pays off!
As I mentioned at the end of 2012, I will be focusing more on certain goals and doing what it takes to get there. I have fewer things and they’re certainly less structured, but the ideas I have in mind are not easier than last year. I almost think these new goals and plans are more important and require daily action to make them reality.
I’ve got several indoor and outdoor projects in mind for the house. These will require not only cash, but also serious physical determination. Working all day makes that more difficult, since I have less energy and desire to put in labor after a 10 hour day. However, the light at the end of the tunnel is that once these projects are done, the house will be even more beautiful and inviting. It’s just getting to that point.
Needless to say, I am so happy and excited about all the good things that are finally happening. It makes me feel like the struggles and positivity over the last year or two is paying off. It’s easy for me to get sucked into the negativity, especially when I’ve got people coming at me from all directions. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and tired, to snap back at people and to feel defeated. That part is a constant struggle even now. But I try to take it all in stride and know that my life does not revolve around that swirling mess of negativity. My life revolves around my family and friends, the joy that I receive from them being parts of my life. It revolves around the simple joys I experience everyday, the love that I’m shown in a thousand ways by everyone that matters and of course in how I treat and appreciate others. For this, I am grateful, even more so for the fact that I can recognize it and appreciate it.
Thank you all for participating in the amazing lives of others and keep it positive.
Hey there readers of my fledgling little blog, what few of you are left since I fell off the Earth.
I first want to thank you all for sticking with me and the crazy project I’ve had going on here. You stuck with my hairbrained plan, followed me through the ups and downs and I’m glad we made it. Without many of you, I’m not sure that I would have.
As many of you have read through these last 12 months, I have set out very specific goals for myself and a track to get to where I want in life. Not surprisingly, it hasn’t exactly gone the way I’d hoped and it certainly hasn’t gone smoothly. I’ve undergone countless changes within my personal, professional and scholarly lives, only to make it through no worse for ware, on the other side.
Some of the things I’ve learned I never would have imagined, such as my inner strength and my level of patience. However, I also reinforced many traits that I knew I had, such as self determination and hardworking nature. Without those things, I easily would have crumbled. Instead, I was able to stand my ground, complete my goals and while often frayed around the edges, I succeeded. The best part is that I have my loved ones in my camp to support me through it all. I could not have done it without them.
My plan going forward is to continue to write my goals down, perhaps not as structured and specifically this time around, but to also to track my progress. I truly believe that this is what motivates me and keeps me on track. That, and my overwhelming sense of obligation.
Anyway, in closing, thank you for reading and keeping me going this year. See you on the flip side with more craziness and hilarity.
I have to admit, I’ve been letting the blog fall by the wayside lately and again, I’m sorry for that. However, I have to say that I’ve not in any way lost sight of my project and my goals that I’ve set for myself. Just the opposite really. I’ve been incredibly focused on TCOB… taking care of business.
Last month (I CANNOT believe it’s already December) was SUPER chaotic… one of the craziest this year by far. So many changes, good, bad and somewhere in between. However, this project has truly helped me follow the path that I want for myself, has allowed me to show gratitude, to help others in ways that I never could have thought possible, allowed me to grow and change, determine my boundaries and recognize my limitations. Spending a month listening to my inner voice near the end of this journey was incredibly smart of me, without even knowing it. Had I done it earlier in the year, there’s no way I would have gotten as much out of it. Having gone through everything this year has brought me to this point. I could not be more thankful. November was my time to think and to connect with my inner voice. While I’ve spent a very long time this year doing just that, this time, it was to acknowledge what I was truly feeling. It wasn’t difficult but it was necessary. I spent the month tuning in to my feelings about things and I learned a lot. I was able to see things with clear vision and to realize my boundaries in real time. THIS was incredibly important for November’s goals. Now, I can move on to my “final” set of goals…. Right Livelihood.
~Be stringent with your ethics but determine what’s really important
-Do your homework on potential employers
-Apply yourself to your future- now
-Get a career or get into grad school. Quit stalling.
So now what? Well, as you can read above, I need to figure out what I’m doing with myself. I am literally 3 weeks away from graduation and while I’ve been in college long enough to be a doctor, I’m finally finishing my Bachelor’s degree. I cannot tell you how incredibly stressful it is to be inches from the end and struggling like no other. I have had so much going on that school work hasn’t exactly been the top priority. Sadly, my grades are reflecting this. I’m not giving up without a fight and I’m certainly doing everything I can to ensure my success. However, standing on this cliff has made me realize that I need to figure out what to do now. I’ve never been this close, so I had time… now, notsomuch.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing though, since I am blessed to have a decent job and it’s pretty secure, unless I do something completely stupid and get myself fired, which is unlikely. I’ve also contacted a school about their graduate program and provided I pass this semester, I can actually go there. THAT would be amazing.
Anyway, that sort of explains the “quit stalling” part of my goals this month. I have a job and I have a plan for grad school so that I can be competitive in my field.
The overarching meaning to my goals this month is that I have to determine what is truly important to me and I’ve spent a very long time trying to figure that part out, but so far I have figured out that money is NOT that important. Yes, it makes living much, much easier, but it doesn’t rule my life like many people I know. I appreciate having money and I enjoy the things that money can buy, like food and shelter. But I don’t LIVE to make tons of cash. I live to make an impact on the world. It would also be nice to make a living out of that impact, don’t get me wrong. But I live simply enough to not need a super well paying job.
With that understanding that I don’t need massive amounts of money and I’ve centered my live in such a way that I can live within my means, I have to apply myself to whatever I do. As many of you know by now, that’s not exactly a problem, but career wise, that’s easier said than done. I have no clue how to apply myself to my future career… other than just doing it. I’m not sure that will work in this situation though. It’s going to take some finesse. The research part, I’ve got this… but since I’m staying where I am at this point in my career, it’s less about seeking new employment and about securing my position there and learning everything I possibly can that can help my future career. I need to find as much information and soak it up so that I may use that to my advantage in the future. Thankfully, I have that ability. Right place, right time in this aspect.
Another aspect of Livelihood that I hadn’t really anticipated though, since I wrote all these goals a year ago, was that my job is not my only source of living. The definition of livelihood is this: A means of securing the necessities of life.
What does that mean exactly? There are so many ways of looking at that… I mean, what do I consider necessities? Yes, there’s the usual food, shelter, clothes, air, water kind of stuff. But what else in this life do I need? I am always the person that will go without to make sure that other people have what they need. I have gone without things I need because bills had to be paid, pets needed to eat… you name it. I’m not saying that I’m some sort of saint because I’ve gone without my own necessities because of my overwhelming sense of obligation, or for sympathy… but simply as a point in my case that I really haven’t a clue what I need anymore, outside of the obvious ones.
I know that I don’t need t.v. or cable… tons of money or anything like that. But the things that I do need… no idea. This is going to be the hardest part of of my goals this month. Here goes nothing… or everything. Depending on how you look at it… :)
Happy freaking November. Man, this month seriously just snuck up on me. Is snuck even a word? My computer thinks not, but whatever… it is now. :)
Anyway, September and October did exactly their jobs as far as creating adventure and allowing me to spend time with those I love, create lasting memories and just all around have wonderful adventures. Of course these things won’t stop now that I’m moving on to a new set of goals, as this exercise is cumulative.
~Look at the true meaning, not your own perception
~Listen to your body!
~What am I feeling, honestly?
~Where’s your head?
~Show appreciation
As a Buddhist, mindfulness is quite important to finding true meaning in all things, the true teachings of the Buddha and appreciating real life, in the present.
The goals are surrounding truth this month and being in tune with not only myself, but those around me as well. It’s important for me to be mindful not only to be aware of stuff… but to also be able to show gratitude and compassion for all those that grace my life. I am so fortunate to have wonderful people and animals that balance, complete and enhance this life I’m in. Showing gratitude takes time, effort and above all… understanding. It is critical for me in my quest for happiness to make others happier also.
Taking each of these goals one-by-one, here’s the meaning behind them:
~Listen to your body!- By this I mean that I want to be more in tune with myself, my needs and come to accept my limitations. I frequently forgo sleep, food, relaxation, and general fun in my life because I’m stressed, busy, and just plain distracted. I want to listen to my body and eat when I’m hungry, sleep more when I’m tired and take time to recharge more often.
~What am I feeling, honestly?- I often bury my feelings or cast them aside in hopes of avoiding conflict or brushing them off as “reactionary” and other things I’ve deemed negative. This isn’t exactly the healthiest thing for me, nor is it a successful key to happiness. I am sometimes prone to holding grudges and being hurt for reasons that other people are unaware of. Part of this goal is allowing myself to experience feelings when I’m feeling them and also having the courage to communicate those feelings to others.
~Where’s your head?- This is more figurative than it is literal, but I do sometimes forget even where my head is on occasion… simply because I’m a frazzled mess. But the true meaning of this goal is centering. I want to take more time in my daily life to center myself and experience inner peace. Much of this started with wanting to do yoga everyday, and while much of that has fallen by the wayside, I do still have a strong desire to do it everyday. Getting there just hasn’t been easy… But this goal is more of a mental yoga. Working to not get as stressed out and to find my focus.
~Show appreciation- The key to happiness of self is helping others attain happiness. I think that many people feel unappreciated, unloved, taken for granted and all around lonely in their personal lives. I want to help alleviate some of that negativity by showing my appreciation to those that I am around regularly. I want them to know that they are not taken for granted and that they are needed.
Here’s to a happy and healthy November everyone! Be mindful and give thanks. :)
Forgive me father for it’s been more than a week since my last confession… In seriousness, I know it’s been a bit longer than I had planned between posts, but the first week or two of a semester can really be a doozy. This is the first summer in 3 years that I’ve not taken classes, so it’s been exceptionally difficult getting back in the “school” rhythm. But I think I’m getting there. Slowly but surely. Aside from that, things have been pretty much the same in that I’ve been working and trying to get things done with my POS car. That in and of itself has been extremely stressful. But thanks to the generosity of a good friend, I’ve got a temporary car that runs like a champ, until he gets back from vacation. I never realized how much air conditioning rules, until yesterday.
Anyway, today’s installment is not simply about what I’ve been doing this week that has made it difficult for me to blog, but rather it’s about mental and emotional processes. Let me explain. In my head, I want to write. In my heart, I know it’s what I love to do. However, in reality, it’s not easy to do what it is that I want to do much of the time because I’ve got other things that take priority at any given time. This same model expands out to other facets of life too… In my head, I want to have my own business. In my heart, I know I can do it and I would be great at it. In reality, I need to find the time to make it happen along with everything else. In my head I know I know how to fix my car. In my heart I know I am capable. In reality, there are just some things that cannot be fixed with limited tools, knowledge and resources.
The point of mentioning these things is that mentally and emotionally, I know certain things to be true, yet reality, humanity, society, my own hang ups all have a way of making what I know and feel that much harder to maintain. The universe has a way of testing us at every turn and I think that overcoming the odds or various challenges is what make us not only crazy, but also more confident in our abilities, thoughts and feelings. If we don’t overcome these challenges, it’s back to the drawing board until we figure it out or give up and move on. Either way, we learn from it.
Learning is a huge part of happiness. According to one of the books I’m reading, there’s short-term and long-term happiness. Short-term happiness is stuff that requires little work and planning, very little sacrifice in the short term, but allows for brief moments of happiness. Long-term happiness, such as owning a house, going on a long vacation etc, require long term planning and often struggles to get there. And by learning the lessons of life, taking on these challenges and overcoming them, allows us the knowledge, heart and wherewithal to batten down the hatches and get things done for that long term happiness stuff. I’m currently trying to get some short term happiness while working hard to cultivate long term happiness. I’ve been so focused on the long term side of things, I’ve all but forgotten that everyday can be a source of happiness. Thankfully I’ve got great people in my life to gently remind me that it’s not always about the struggle, it can also be about the here and now. For that, I’m eternally grateful.
