Tag: Meditation

Right Intention

July and August
~Right intention
Live the way I want to live, walk the walk, harmoniously
Temper, temper: whenever I get angry, meditate instead
Let it go, it’s not personal, and even if it is, it’s temporary: karma isn’t always yours
Live in the now, but think of the future: find sources of joy and memories

The above are my goals for the remainder of the summer. If you’ve been following my progress, you can see that the next two months are going to consist of variations of some of the year’s previous goals. I think that all of the goals I’ve set down for myself are quite important, but these are apparently things I knew I’d need more work on about now. I wrote all of my goals for this year in late December. I have not changed or altered them, nor added and subtracted. A few of them I changed the wording, because I wasn’t sure it “flowed” well for other to read. Aside from that, I’m copying and pasting the things I’ve set out to do from a file.

What I find the most interesting about this particular set of goals is that they are possibly the most relevant to my life at this time. It’s actually unbelievable. I know that there are people out there with much heavier things in life affecting them, and I’m not in any way trying to compare my life to those things. But I’ve got a lot of things weighing me down as of late and honing my skills by working on these specific goals will do me some good.

I’m excited to get these goals and growth underway. Here’s to an amazing 60 or so days!

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The Happiness Update

As February quickly comes to a close, much faster than I anticipated, it’s time for me to do a little reflection. The year started off a bit rocky, but once I got into (sort of) the rhythm of school and work balancing, everything outside of those two things seemed to fall more into place. That’s not to say things have been easy so far, because they haven’t been. Not even close. Stress and worry have been at a super level, but on the flip side of that, I’ve been so blessed to have comfort, joy and even a little relaxation.

Under no circumstances have my goals been easy to achieve, nor have I done them all perfectly. Hell, some of them I’ve barely done at all. But in my head, that’s ok. It’s just part of the process… learning what works and what doesn’t in my hectic life. With that being said, here’s the rundown of my goals and how well I have done so far:
– Be authentic- My overall goal- I’ve really come to accept my limitations and my strengths, as well as the fact that I’m ok being the odd bird and I embrace it.
– Outside chaos is inside chaos: declutter, organize, clean- My wonderful man has really helped out with this, since, I’m just too busy and rushed all the time to keep up with this task. He’s been amazing at helping me around the house and even organizing my messy desk for me. I’m so grateful for his support and help, especially in this area.
– Practice makes perfect, do it until it’s right: learn a new skill- I think my skill that I’m trying to master is a combination of patience and acceptance. I have been playing the hurry up and wait game for several weeks now with a few things and it’s taken a unbelievable amount of patience to not completely flip out or cave under the stress. Acceptance because I’m having to accept that I cannot control every aspect of certain situations. These have been very trying, but I’m getting there.
– 15 minute miracles: A.M. yoga, meditation P.M. talking, cleaning- These have been tough to get going too. I’m either running around super busy, or collapsing on the couch in an effort to see my love for a few minutes before bed. Yoga hasn’t happened… not more than once. I’m really sad about that, but I’ve tackled my trouble with meditation. I’ve decided that I was going about it all wrong and took a different view. I need to go back to that “Be Authentic” thing and realize that while unconventional, like myself, my choice of meditation is also. It’s not an everyday meditative practice, and that’s ok too. But the days that I get to skate, is all I need to get me through the rest of the week. Last weekend was a prime example. Skating was perfect. (I play roller derby). Talking with my honey has proven to be exactly what we need to reconnect and revive our tired connections. We don’t spend every single day chatting in our room, but most days we at least mute the tv and have a few minutes of “quality” time talking about our days or nothing important at all. It’s been really great. And finally, I’ve discovered that cleaning at night, even for 15 minutes on a regular basis, is impossible. It’s got to be in the morning when I first get up, or it’s just not happening. :)
– Look good, feel good: dress for success- So, I’m still rocking the tee shirts and jeans. But I have made it a point to buy better jeans and wear more sweaters that cover my punk rock band shirts. I’ve tried to incorporate things like scarves to my wardrobe too… dress up my everyday wear just a little.
– Meditate in a way that works for me: try different techniques- I’ve heard everything can be meditative. I believe this to a point. There’s no part of cleaning the cat litter box that strikes me as peaceful, but to each their own. I have however, found that my morning routine is quite nice though. The house generally quiet as the dogs are slowly waking up, putting together my coffee pot and creating my daily smoothie… very good for clearing the mind. Also, writing has really helped with not only my search for meditation, but also lowering my stress level on several occasions.

Anyway, that’s my rundown as the month creeps to a close. I’m excited for March to come in so I can start to focus on some new things, gain new insight and maybe even a new skill. We shall see! <3

( The above picture from: http://www.daniellemhayes.com/goals-safe-scary/)

 

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A little lacking and a bit of slacking…

I took a look at my project outline this morning and I realized that I’ve not exactly been doing so well. I’ve been trying to do my 15 minute miracles, and most of the time I manage to get one in a day. Usually talking with my honey or cleaning the kitchen. I’ve really been struggling with the overall premise for these months… being authentic. I know who and what I am, however, I’m having trouble balancing other people’s expectations of me with my authenticity. 

Everyone around me and everyone else, whether or not they know it, have expectations of the others around them. Parents, kids, pets, partners, employers… It’s constant. Finding that place where I can be myself and be what everyone around me wants is much harder than I anticipated. I feel as if I’m constantly letting someone down, me or someone else. But everyday I’m plugging away trying to find that happy/medium where I can live with myself and others want to live with me in their lives.

Here’s a recap of my goals this month and last:

~Right Effort and Right Meditation
Be authentic
Outside chaos is inside chaos: declutter, organize, clean
Practice makes perfect, do it until it’s right: learn a new skill
15 minute miracles: A.M. yoga, meditation P.M. talking, cleaning
Look good, feel good: dress for success
Meditate in a way that works for me: try different techniques

 

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Practice makes perfect and other silly things

I say that practice makes perfect is a silly thing simply because I suck at failure. Everyone’s heard the saying “doing something over and over again, yielding the same results is the definition of insanity” or some version of the same sentiment… I see imperfection as failure. So if I’m trying and trying and trying, but failing every time to meet my self proclaimed level of perfection, I feel defeated and kinda crazy. Part of the exercises for this and next month is to try and break that habit. I want to let go of “perfection” as I see it and “failure” as it relates to perfection. Just because something I do isn’t perfect, doesn’t mean I fail. But by calling it practice makes perfect, I’m able to reassess what perfection is to me. Is it getting all A’s this semester? While that would be perfection and I’m definitely striving for that end, I have to be ok with allowing myself a B or even a C without beating myself up over it. I had a hard time with this last semester. I just had to remember that my best, whatever that is for each and every thing I do, has to be good enough… “perfect” in it’s own rite. This also makes me mindful of my limitations, though I try to keep those to a minimum…

I think this is sort of a blanket feeling for all my goals this month, the idea of perfection. Because I’m focusing on Right Effort and Right Meditation, I have to sort of figure out if the INTENT is right, not necessarily the outcome. I have to say that every one of my goals: Decluttering, learning a new skill, dressing more “my age” sometimes, my 15 minute miracles and meditation, are INTENDED to be perfect and also a process of change and learning. I don’t know if it’s exactly possible for them to all be BOTH. I’m almost ready to say that my goals are my new skill for the months, simply because I’ve never undertaken a series of goals such as these, at least not in this way before. I’m learning the art of imperfection, growth and allowing myself to be, well… myself while doing and holding myself accountable for all these procedures.  When I think about them in the grand scheme of things, it’s a bit overwhelming.

But I guess it’s my version of shock therapy. I’m shocking myself into changing my thinking, acting and mindset, about just about everything.

This brings me to Benjamin Franklin. He was a drinking, a womanizer, a founding father of the US, an inventor and many other things… but he was also on a personal quest to find personal, moral perfection. He had 13 virtues that he was striving for, resolved to try and perfect each one in himself, created charts and tracked his own progress on these virtues. Here’s his list:

  1. “TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.”
  2. “SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.”
  3. “ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.”
  4. “RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.”
  5. “FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.”
  6. “INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.”
  7. “SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.”
  8. “JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.”
  9. “MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.”
  10. “CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.”
  11. “TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.”
  12. “CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.”
  13. “HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.”

As I read through these, I found that several of them are quite similar to what some of my goals are, more or less. It’s interesting that even hundreds of years ago, humans have been riddled with self reflection about many of the same topics. We are all striving, in some form or fashion, to achieve the same goals and “virtues”. I find it quite interesting that even before the advent of telecommunication, the internet, mass transit and all of the things we take for granted in modern society, we all just want to be better, more aware, more kind people. It gives me hope that I’m on the right track and also a bit humbling because even someone so decorated and admired through our country’s history, was imperfect himself… struggling to make himself better. It makes me feel less alone in my thinking that I can be happier in my daily life, I can be a better person and live a good, humble life.

Anyway, I thought that I would share some thoughts for the day. Happy Sunday to everyone! Feel free to share your thoughts and comments about this or any other topic. I read them all and accept them, as long as they’re not spam.

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Cultivating Happiness and Personal Growth

Welcome to my quest for intentional happiness and self-improvement. In this post, I’ll be sharing the goals, progress, and lessons learned as I create more joy and purpose in my life this year.

There are a few things I am going to use as my blanket statements/ overall mantras and one is something that I read in The Happiness Project, the second is another famous statement. Both have really struck and stuck with me.

The first being a quote from G.K. Chesterton, “It’s easy to be heavy: hard to be light”.

The second is yet another quote, but from the Dalai Lama. “If you want to be happy, practice compassion. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.”

I’m sure that not everyone wants to read about the hum-drum of my process for this mission I’ve set for myself this year, but I do believe it’s kind of important to mention that since undertakings such as this are incredibly individualized, everyone has their own methods and ways to tailor their efforts to work for them. In my case, I’m taking the Noble Eightfold Path of Buddhism and taking actions that apply to those items. I plan to cultivate my happiness by trying to become a better Buddhist in addition to being an overall better person in the world. Instead of doing one fold per month, I’m had to shuffle it around just a little, since, well, there’s 12 months in a year.

So here’s my plan starting now:

January and February
~Right Effort and Right Meditation

“Be authentic” is the overall goal of these months, but here are my goals and how I’ll try to accomplish them.

  • Outside chaos is inside chaos: declutter, organize, clean
  • Practice makes perfect, do it until it’s right: learn a new skill
  • 15 minute miracles: A.M. yoga, meditation P.M. talking, cleaning
  • Look good, feel good: dress for success
  • Meditate in a way that works for me: try different techniques

I want to focus on Right Effort because without this basis, all others are useless. By honing my efforts, making the “why” as specific as possible and reframing my basis to not only include things that make “me” happy, but also those around me. The other prong of The Path is Right Meditation. I chose to do these two items together because not only is it critical to have the right effort, but getting my head in the right space is also essential to creating positive, happy and lasting changes in life.

I think the first goal is pretty self explanatory and for those that have seen my desk in the office or my car, clutter and organization are huge issues for me. The second goal is really just a reaffirmation of the first one, to keep me on track with not only organization, but also my efforts in general.

Miracles

15-Minute-Miracles are something that I thought of the other day to describe how I want to accomplish things. I live an incredibly busy life, as most people do, with my job, my family, my last year of college and outside interests many things end up falling through the cracks. I am terribly forgetful, sometimes disorganized (I sort of live in a perpetual state of organized, rushed, complete chaos) and it leads to significant stress and unhappiness. My plan is that for 15 minutes each, everyday, I will do yoga because not only do I love it, but I always manage to avoid it in lieu of “real work” or some other tasks that need to be done. Meditate, because I’m terrible at it and find it truly difficult to center myself in a meaningful way. I need to try and find alternative ways to accomplish 15 minutes of calm each day. Talk with my wonderful fiance- face to face, television off- about whatever, just to take time to reconnect in a different way on a regular basis. And finally cleaning. In a busy life, something has to give, our dishes are usually that thing. We are not blessed to live in a place that has a dishwasher, so it’s hand washing and it’s not particularly fun. I think I’ll find it less of a mountainous task if I do a little bit each evening and it’ll help me find more peace in the kitchen, where I spend a lot of my free time. I love to cook.

Look good; feel good is something a friend of mine has said for years and while I wholeheartedly agree, I suffer from the “I don’t care” attitude, similar to that of a teenage boy. I work in a warehouse, so it’s not exactly the place to wear my good clothes, however, I spend an awful lot of time in class where I’m mistaken for an 18 year old that just rolled out of bed and put on the first wrinkled tee-shirt they could find. I am old enough to at least look like an adult. That is going to be rather difficult for me, I think. But other people taking me more seriously will be a great source of confidence, especially when I’m preparing for graduation.

The final goal is to find a method of meditation that works for me to find peace and clarity. Sitting meditation just isn’t something that interests me since I find it rather impossible to sit still for that long without clouding my mind with a flood of things that I could be or should be doing instead. Yup, I’m that person. I make mental lists of what I have to do or should be doing and then constantly mull it over and over in my head. But that is something I need to do, clear my mind, even it’s for only 15 minutes a day.

There’s my outline for the next two months.

I invite you to join me on this quest for happiness, share your progress, and embrace the challenges that come with growth. Let’s create a life of purpose and joy together!

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