Tag: Money

The world I know

There’s a song by the band Collective Soul with the same title as this blog entry. You can find it on YouTube HERE. Do yourself a favor, if you’re unfamiliar with the song, and check it out. It has gotten me through some very dark times in my life, and I feel like we are experiencing some of those currently around the world.

So, for the last several months, I’ve been not writing or blogging. Part of this was intentional. I have seen what other people in the coaching and “happiness” space have been doing, and I decided not to do the same. I have only been posting a motivational message on my coaching blog, more or less daily.

Anyway, the reason for this has been that I honestly didn’t have anything to contribute. That’s not to say that I don’t have an opinion, or feelings. Quite the opposite actually. I’m experiencing many of the same things as everyone worldwide at the moment, and I didn’t believe that I could contribute to the dialogue in a meaningful way. I have always been honest with my readers, and I felt as if I’d be doing each of you a disservice by spouting off some toxic happiness nonsense, or trying to make you feel bad for not coming out of quarantine with a college degree, million-dollar business idea, or some savvy new skill. That’s not my role here and it never will be. I typically only write when I feel I have something of value to share.

However, as time has marched on, I’ve realized that the feeling of “now I have something” is not likely to come in ways that I normally recognize, because as I mentioned, we’re all having a whole lot of shit going on right now. My voice may never be relevant, or I hope, it can speak to you directly and we can share a conversation.

In these trying times, which in the United States began early this year with COVID-19, and the extreme political atmosphere that created, we’ve been asked to move about the world very differently. The “normal” way of life has been cast aside for this new thing we call life. There are a great deal of things that needed to change, and are still rapidly changing as I write this. COVID really set the kindling, and the feelings around the death of George Floyd, which has sparked worldwide protesting and now, in the Twin Cities where I call home, it has spurred violence and military actions. This is a whole new world for us. It can never go back to “normal” for us to have learned from all of these recent events of 2020. If they do go back to that old way, there’s really just no hope for us.

Just a week ago, if you’d have told me that not only would there be riots in the streets across the world, but this would all be with the pandemic as a backdrop, I’d never have believed you. I never would have believed that there would be Neo-Nazi’s roaming my street at night trying to find houses to burn, or that the military would be guarding the hospital right down the street. I’d never believed that my city and cities all over would be burning to the ground. It’s an incredibly surreal time for us all. But there’s one thing that I would have believed and believe right this minute as I sit at my kitchen table typing away before my daughter wakes up, and it’s that people show up for each other. Right now, there are neighbors sweeping up the mess, donating food to those in need, protecting their streets in makeshift ways… but the fact is, they are showing up. They are stepping up. There’s a little bodega near us, and the owner has become a friend of ours. I check in with him, because he’s only 3 blocks from one of the hardest hit areas of violence. The stores that I used to shop at have been leveled. But he is still going to work everyday and offering food to anyone whether or not they can pay. There are restaurants that are giving away free hot food to the people clearing the wreckage. There are people donating food to schools and houses of worship, donating money to the rebuilding of our precious small businesses. They are all SHOWING UP.

There is nothing that I can say to better articulate the resiliency of the human spirit. Communities are coming together to fight injustice, to fight the fascists, and to clean up the mess left behind. I’m grateful for my community. They inspire me to do better and to BE better.

Am I ok right now? Sure, I guess. I sleep with my daughter in bed, because her room is street side and I don’t feel safe with her so close to the road. We are minutes away from the state capital, so everything there, the protests, the shootings, we are very close to. My partner stays up all night on “fire watch” listening to a police scanner and weapons, to protect our home from looting and possible arson. I stay up with him until I can’t keep my eyes open any longer. I am still working during all of this, at home, thankfully. So I have to be able to sort of function as an employee and show up for my daughter who is not currently in school. We went from pretty much weaponless in our home, to sleeping in a room with guns at arm’s reach. Or the same kitchen table I work at during the day, gets converted to a damage control station equipped with the following: laptop, two-way radios, emergency medical kit, and rifle. We have bags packed of important things, like my work computer and our passports. This is no longer a world I recognize. But like the Phoenix, you have to burn to ash to be reborn, right? I feel like this is what’s happening. I don’t have a single clue what the days bring, but can say for certain that it’s not going back to “normal”.

Thank you for readiing.

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We survived, but now what?

If 2019 was the year of forced growth, what the hell, exactly is 2020. According to a random astrology article that I cannot recall the link to, it’s time to bear down through some painful times, to create the world that’s coming next. The article referenced a lot of ‘childbearing’ imagery, which I’m sure is lost on some. Personally, I know exactly what they’re talking about, but I’ll spare the details here. The synopsis is this: we are at a pivotal time in history, in human existence, and for the earth. We are shifting from one ‘age’ to another, metaphysically, and things are getting weird. There’s going to be a whole lot of changes, especially because last year basically kicked our asses out of our ruts and into the unknown.

So, we survived the ass kicking. Now what? We, as humans, and as celestial beings have the distinct privilege of shaping the world around us every day. We put energy out, we receive energy, we take actions, lather, rinse, repeat. This year, like none other in my personal lifetime, we are faced with a lot of energy, emotions, and polarized factions all around us. Yes, there’s been turmoil, fueled by aggression, war, famine, etc. I’m not saying that we aren’t living in arguably the safest time of human history (because we are, and it’s well documented), but now, the issue is that we as a society have become apathetic, due largely to the fact that we are tired. We’re distracted by our lives, our responsibilities, and technology. We’re focused on staying above water in uncertain tides with politics, our jobs, and more.

I feel like it’s worth mentioning that 1) I’m in this same boat, and 2) it’s by no means a judgement on anyone. It’s just absolute fact that we are all tired and distracted. Plus, like never before, it’s all being captured by the media and individuals, then edited and spit back at us in record time. the 24 hour news cycle had no clue that it was going to go this far, this fast. But I digress. We made it here, now what? If I, a simple writer, had any clue, I’d never have to worry about anything ever again. However, I can say this: things are rapidly shifting, and if society doesn’t snap out of it, those loud, shit-stirrers of the world, will be the ones shaping every aspect of the planet (and beyond). Do we, as individuals, want the loudest and most annoying voices on any side of any conflict whatsoever, to be the guideposts? Or do we want those of us falling somewhere in the middle area, where 99% of the populace live, to have a hand in the world we create for our children and grandchildren? I’m leaning toward the latter. I want my kid to have clean air, a chance at an education, safe food, healthcare when she needs it, opportunities I didn’t have, valuable and exciting work, relative physical safety, and maybe even some money stashed for when she gets old.

Nobody can have these things if we are divided up, and fighting each other. Nobody but the wealthiest of the wealthy, that is, who hoard resources from the public, and tell us its for our own good. What’s good for us, ALL OF US, are systems and institutions that work for all of us. Those of us in the United States, we have the opportunity this year to decide the direction of our political establishment. Beyond that, because this is by no means a “political” post or blog, we have to decide every single day what world we are creating. Is it one of fear and lack, or is it one of harmony and abundance. I choose love, personally, and gratitude. I radiate love, gratefulness, and light into the dark places. It’s only by shining light that darkness can be changed.

Sending love and light to everyone reading this. Thank you.

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Loneliness is a public health crisis in the making

In an ever-connected, ever-monitored, ever-watchful world, people have never been so lonely.

There’s been some emerging bodies of research around isolation and loneliness, a stark reminder that we are social animals. This article summarizes some of the research being conducted, stating that the physical and mental effects of being chronically lonely can be devastating. I’ve been reading articles from various angles fairly recently, and the science is becoming quite clear, having a consistent support network of people that value you, is really important to not just our emotional health, but mental and physical health as well.

What’s more difficult, is that our physical support systems are shrinking, creating situations where our kids, partners, and few others are becoming our ONLY social circle outside of our jobs. Even a lot of employment situations are allowing more remote work, decreasing the number of other humans throughout the day, that we come into physical proximity of. I bring this up because having situations where your only social outlet is your partner, is not only unhealthy, but unsustainable.

It’s not uncommon to see couples as their only sources of human interaction, which means you spouse is now your best friend, your counselor, your housemate, your coparent, your accountant, and also your romantic partner. I know from experience that this is even more common if you have kids. My partner and I go to work, come home, parent, and then go to bed to start over tomorrow most days. Throw in a sick kiddo, shittons of homework, and after a couple weeks, you’re all fraying around the edges.

Last week I came home one day from work, only to realize that one of the kids was the second human I’d spoken to since I started my workday ten hours earlier. I was stressed out, frazzled, and having a hard time focusing. She caught on, because kids are incredibly intuitive, and asked if I was ok. I took pause and really thought about my day. I had a very demanding day at work, where I was quite focused and accomplishing several tasks, but I hadn’t talked to anyone save for a coworker I ran into in the break room.

Thankfully, given the nature of my work, these are rare days in which I speak to no one, but even after just a single day, I was experiencing the effects. Imagine not talking to anyone for several days in a row? No thank you.

The moral of this story is that we need people. We need support from our tribes, whomever they may be. Don’t think that you have to have a huge network of people, but rather a few quality individuals that are in your circle who CARE ABOUT YOU. Be that person for someone else, too. We all need it. Our physical and mental health will thank us later.

Thanks for reading.

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Wake Up

When I typed in “bed”, to search for a photo to go at the top of this entry, there were quite a few clocks similar to the one I chose above. It’s very strange that searching for a bed, I get a clock. However, it’s rather fitting, given the title.

Waking up, is quite literally the very first thing we do each day. Not “being awake”, as to many of us “awake” is a much different state than “waking up”. For a large portion of us, the thing letting us know that IT IS TIME, is often a loud thing in our ears. Whether it’s an alarm clock, a child, pet, or partner, something jolted us from asleep, to awake.

I, personally, take issue with this jolting part. I’m sure many others do too. However, unlike many people, at least in my life, I do not like snoozing. I typically, if left to my own devices, just get up when I wake up. Recently, my partner has been quite persuasive in encouraging me to remain in our warm, comfy bed a few minutes longer than I would otherwise. I silently think he’s using it to feel better about himself snoozing a bit extra, but don’t tell him I said that. ;)

In reality though, I tend to oversleep and wind up rushing, rather than allowing myself a few extra moments of relaxation before stepping out the front door. When you have a small child, spare minutes are really helpful. Especially since my kiddo is a sleeper. She will sleep 10 hours or more if I let her. Unfortunately, like her father, she’s also a night owl. I’m an early bird, so her bedtime is early, because she has school and I have work. Also, she takes forever to wake up more days than not. It’s annoying trying to coax a preschooler out of bed at 6am, without a major fight.

I know there are some kids like me, and you are all my people. I’ve never been a sleeper, not even during my partiest of party years. I was always on time for work, even after virtually or actually zero sleep the night(s) before. I wasn’t even a sleepy child. But I think the reasons for that are more anxiety related, and maybe they still are.

Which leads me to discuss the real topic of today’s blog. The sleeping habits of my family was merely a segue.

There’s a new culture about that’s gained popularity and a name. Woke. I’m by no means an expert on popular culture in any fashion, but I pay attention to things. Woke culture seems to be heavily intersecting with Call-out culture which has shone a light on a number of really great things, but I also think that they can be really damaging in certain contexts.

Trust me when I say that I’m an absolute advocate for human, animal, and environmental rights. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life as an activist, but part of me wonders, what happened exactly to letting others do their own thing, as long as they’re not hurting anyone else? I had a teacher in high school say that my rights as a person end at the tip of my nose, or that my rights do not extend to a place where yours are being infringed upon. So, who are people that are telling me that I’m wrong for doing X,Y, or Z, if it’s not affecting them in any way? I’m just over here, doing my thing.

If I’m over here being an asshole, I fully deserve to be called out, but if I have purple hair (which I do at 38 yrs old), who cares? If my partner and I have tattoos and have the nerve to swim in a public pool, who gives a shit? Why do people suddenly feel entitled to give me or him or anyone else flack for that?

The short answer: you don’t. Knock it off. End of discussion. Pretty simple. Stop it. The end.

But meanwhile there’s politicians trying to legislate women’s bodies, the rights of trans people, and profiteering from war and gun violence. There’s something seriously wrong with this. If you want to call anyone out, let’s call out our legislators. Call your congressmen and women. Get woke to real shit and let’s be working toward equality and rights for us all. Instead, there’s a bunch of infighting, bickering, and worse. Knock it off. Your rights end at the end of your nose. You don’t get to be in charge of anyone else’s body, mind, rights, etc. Stop it. End of discussion.

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Manifesting Destiny

background balance beach boulder
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

While listening to a book by Wayne Dyer, he said something to the effect of “There is nothing humans can dream, that they can’t conceive”.

Anyone who has taken 9th grade U.S. history knows that the United States was colonized based on a term coined “Manifest Destiny”. Simply put, god told some guys that they had to do it. They had to colonize from coast to coast, because it was their destiny.

Do I think that the universal creator (whomever that might be) gave the impetus to drive Westward, pillaging and destroying everything in their path, losing countless lives on all sides of the mandate? Not a chance. Do I think a pack of dudes got together and said, “out there is the great unknown and we think that it should be ours, no matter the costs”? Absolutely.

Now, what do these things have in common, since Wayne Dyer is the last person I’d think of when I consider forcible anything? Humans thought of a thing and made it happen. They created their destiny and created what they saw before them. These colonizers had zero idea of what they could expect to find, they had no clue how far away it was, or even IF the other coast really existed. They basically just went for it, sight unseen.

Manifestation is the same thing, at its core. We think of a thing, and work towards it, with nothing more than the picture we see in our heads of what it might be like. Then we create something to that effect, in our own reality.

I know there are infinite people out there preaching the gospel of “The Law of Attraction” and “Manifesting“. There are countless gurus for one to choose from, should you be interested in any of these kinds of things. I’m certainly not claiming to be one. But what I can say, is that I’ve moved mountains in my own life by believing that it’s possible, and busting ass toward whatever it was that I was looking to achieve. The key is to have faith that you can do a thing, that the thing is in your grasp, and that you’re laser focused on making that thing a reality in your life. Simple, right?

Not always. Manifesting requires a singular focus on a thing you want. Everything that you do, say, and think has to be toward that end. I’ve tried a whole bunch of techniques to hone my focus, and depending on the thing I’m working towards, sometimes the technique can change. Sometimes I meditate on the thing or use a gratitude list/journal. Other times, I post affirmations that remind me of the path I’m trying to stay on. Regardless of HOW you focus, the point is THAT you focus on the end goal, that you’re unwavering in the fact that it is already yours (it’s just not in your hands yet), and HOW you get there is not even remotely important. I know from my own experience, the path to attaining a goal is NEVER what I imagined it would be. It’s virtually never a straight line. There are course deviations, detours, and roadblocks along the way. Potholes abound. However, the trick, is never giving up and staying the course until the goals are realized in your life.

I’m still new to positive focus and “manifesting”, for lack of a better term. But I can say that looking back, I’ve had some really wonderful successes that I may not have realized were exactly the same as the techniques I’m learning along the journey. Is that to say I’m independently wealthy? Nope. Working my dream job? Uh uh. Have the 6-pack abs I’ve always dreamed of? Hardly. However, I am stronger, healthier, happier, and wealthier than I was six months ago. I’m also armed with the knowledge that I can be self-employed, that I can create something beautiful out of positively nothing, and I have the universe on my side with everything that I do.

By no means does that mean I’m on cloud 9. I still have real life to deal with. Not everything is roses. I have a lot of struggles, debt up to my eyeballs from a closed business, and all the daily bullshit of life (like traffic and preschool meltdowns). But HOW I SEE THEM, has changed drastically. I see all these things as lessons and methods of guiding me toward the path I’m seeking. I feel less stressed, more patient (though, I lose my patience often. I’m working on it), and generally more optimistic than I was previously. It’s good. And most importantly, I FEEL good. That’s what really matters, right? I feel good. Hopeful. Generous. Grateful. Challenged. And most of all, I feel love, all around me and within me, radiating out. Now, THAT, is what really matters.

Thanks for reading.

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