Tag: Noble Eightfold Path

Right livelihood and the Right Mindfulness update

I have to admit, I’ve been letting the blog fall by the wayside lately and again, I’m sorry for that. However, I have to say that I’ve not in any way lost sight of my project and my goals that I’ve set for myself. Just the opposite really. I’ve been incredibly focused on TCOB… taking care of business.

http://internetmedialabs.com/taking-care-of-business-mba-style/
http://internetmedialabs.com/taking-care-of-business-mba-style/

Last month (I CANNOT believe it’s already December) was SUPER chaotic… one of the craziest this year by far. So many changes, good, bad and somewhere in between. However, this project has truly helped me follow the path that I want for myself, has allowed me to show gratitude, to help others in ways that I never could have thought possible, allowed me to grow and change, determine my boundaries and recognize my limitations. Spending a month listening to my inner voice near the end of this journey was incredibly smart of me, without even knowing it. Had I done it earlier in the year, there’s no way I would have gotten as much out of it. Having gone through everything this year has brought me to this point. I could not be more thankful. November was my time to think and to connect with my inner voice. While I’ve spent a very long time this year doing just that, this time, it was to acknowledge what I was truly feeling. It wasn’t difficult but it was necessary. I spent the month tuning in to my feelings about things and I learned a lot. I was able to see things with clear vision and to realize my boundaries in real time. THIS was incredibly important for November’s goals. Now, I can move on to my “final” set of goals…. Right Livelihood.

~Be stringent with your ethics but determine what’s really important
-Do your homework on potential employers
-Apply yourself to your future- now
-Get a career or get into grad school. Quit stalling.

So now what? Well, as you can read above, I need to figure out what I’m doing with myself. I am literally 3 weeks away from graduation and while I’ve been in college long enough to be a doctor, I’m finally finishing my Bachelor’s degree. I cannot tell you how incredibly stressful it is to be inches from the end and struggling like no other. I have had so much going on that school work hasn’t exactly been the top priority. Sadly, my grades are reflecting this. I’m not giving up without a fight and I’m certainly doing everything I can to ensure my success. However, standing on this cliff has made me realize that I need to figure out what to do now. I’ve never been this close, so I had time… now, notsomuch.

http://leehayward.com/blog/inner-circle-winners/
http://leehayward.com/blog/inner-circle-winners/

That’s not necessarily a bad thing though, since I am blessed to have a decent job and it’s pretty secure, unless I do something completely stupid and get myself fired, which is unlikely. I’ve also contacted a school about their graduate program and provided I pass this semester, I can actually go there. THAT would be amazing.

Anyway, that sort of explains the “quit stalling” part of my goals this month. I have a job and I have a plan for grad school so that I can be competitive in my field.

The overarching meaning to my goals this month is that I have to determine what is truly important to me and I’ve spent a very long time trying to figure that part out, but so far I have figured out that money is NOT that important. Yes, it makes living much, much easier, but it doesn’t rule my life like many people I know. I appreciate having money and I enjoy the things that money can buy, like food and shelter. But I don’t LIVE to make tons of cash. I live to make an impact on the world. It would also be nice to make a living out of that impact, don’t get me wrong. But I live simply enough to not need a super well paying job.

With that understanding that I don’t need massive amounts of money and I’ve centered my live in such a way that I can live within my means, I have to apply myself to whatever I do. As many of you know by now, that’s not exactly a problem, but career wise, that’s easier said than done. I have no clue how to apply myself to my future career… other than just doing it. I’m not sure that will work in this situation though. It’s going to take some finesse. The research part, I’ve got this… but since I’m staying where I am at this point in my career, it’s less about seeking new employment and about securing my position there and learning everything I possibly can that can help my future career. I need to find as much information and soak it up so that I may use that to my advantage in the future. Thankfully, I have that ability. Right place, right time in this aspect.

Another aspect of Livelihood that I hadn’t really anticipated though, since I wrote all these goals a year ago, was that my job is not my only source of living. The definition of livelihood is this: A means of securing the necessities of life.

What does that mean exactly? There are so many ways of looking at that… I mean, what do I consider necessities? Yes, there’s the usual food, shelter, clothes, air, water kind of stuff. But what else in this life do I need? I am always the person that will go without to make sure that other people have what they need. I have gone without things I need because bills had to be paid, pets needed to eat… you name it. I’m not saying that I’m some sort of saint because I’ve gone without my own necessities because of my overwhelming sense of obligation, or for sympathy… but simply as a point in my case that I really haven’t a clue what I need anymore, outside of the obvious ones.

I know that I don’t need t.v. or cable… tons of money or anything like that. But the things that I do need… no idea. This is going to be the hardest part of of my goals this month. Here goes nothing… or everything. Depending on how you look at it… :)

http://rachelself.com/The-Bare-Necessities
http://rachelself.com/The-Bare-Necessities
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Right Mindfulness

Happy freaking November. Man, this month seriously just snuck up on me. Is snuck even a word? My computer thinks not, but whatever… it is now. :)
Anyway, September and October did exactly their jobs as far as creating adventure and allowing me to spend time with those I love, create lasting memories and just all around have wonderful adventures. Of course these things won’t stop now that I’m moving on to a new set of goals, as this exercise is cumulative.

So November is all about Right Mindfulness. Here’s the list:

~Look at the true meaning, not your own perception
~Listen to your body!
~What am I feeling, honestly?
~Where’s your head?
~Show appreciation

As a Buddhist, mindfulness is quite important to finding true meaning in all things, the true teachings of the Buddha and appreciating real life, in the present.

The goals are surrounding truth this month and being in tune with not only myself, but those around me as well. It’s important for me to be mindful not only to be aware of stuff… but to also be able to show gratitude and compassion for all those that grace my life. I am so fortunate to have wonderful people and animals that balance, complete and enhance this life I’m in. Showing gratitude takes time, effort and above all… understanding. It is critical for me in my quest for happiness to make others happier also.

http://www.mindfulnet.org/

Taking each of these goals one-by-one, here’s the meaning behind them:

~Listen to your body!- By this I mean that I want to be more in tune with myself, my needs and come to accept my limitations.  I frequently forgo sleep, food, relaxation, and general fun in my life because I’m stressed, busy, and just plain distracted. I want to listen to my body and eat when I’m hungry, sleep more when I’m tired and take time to recharge more often.
~What am I feeling, honestly?- I often bury my feelings or cast them aside in hopes of avoiding conflict or brushing them off as “reactionary” and other things I’ve deemed negative. This isn’t exactly the healthiest thing for me, nor is it a successful key to happiness. I am sometimes prone to holding grudges and being hurt for reasons that other people are unaware of. Part of this goal is allowing myself to experience feelings when I’m feeling them and also having the courage to communicate those feelings to others.
~Where’s your head?- This is more figurative than it is literal, but I do sometimes forget even where my head is on occasion… simply because I’m a frazzled mess. But the true meaning of this goal is centering. I want to take more time in my daily life to center myself and experience inner peace. Much of this started with wanting to do yoga everyday, and while much of that has fallen by the wayside, I do still have a strong desire to do it everyday. Getting there just hasn’t been easy… But this goal is more of a mental yoga. Working to not get as stressed out and to find my focus.
~Show appreciation- The key to happiness of self is helping others attain happiness. I think that many people feel unappreciated, unloved, taken for granted and all around lonely in their personal lives. I want to help alleviate some of that negativity by showing my appreciation to those that I am around regularly. I want them to know that they are not taken for granted and that they are needed.

Here’s to a happy and healthy November everyone! Be mindful and give thanks. :)

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Right Intention

July and August
~Right intention
Live the way I want to live, walk the walk, harmoniously
Temper, temper: whenever I get angry, meditate instead
Let it go, it’s not personal, and even if it is, it’s temporary: karma isn’t always yours
Live in the now, but think of the future: find sources of joy and memories

The above are my goals for the remainder of the summer. If you’ve been following my progress, you can see that the next two months are going to consist of variations of some of the year’s previous goals. I think that all of the goals I’ve set down for myself are quite important, but these are apparently things I knew I’d need more work on about now. I wrote all of my goals for this year in late December. I have not changed or altered them, nor added and subtracted. A few of them I changed the wording, because I wasn’t sure it “flowed” well for other to read. Aside from that, I’m copying and pasting the things I’ve set out to do from a file.

What I find the most interesting about this particular set of goals is that they are possibly the most relevant to my life at this time. It’s actually unbelievable. I know that there are people out there with much heavier things in life affecting them, and I’m not in any way trying to compare my life to those things. But I’ve got a lot of things weighing me down as of late and honing my skills by working on these specific goals will do me some good.

I’m excited to get these goals and growth underway. Here’s to an amazing 60 or so days!

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Communication and Right Speech

Right speech can go one of two ways in my opinion: 1) You speak only when you have something to say that is honest, wholesome, encouraging, constructive, positive or any combination thereof, or 2) You say nothing unless you have to. For several weeks, I attempted to make option 1 my goal.

However, I realized rather quickly that well, I’m a human being and I’m going to be harsh, critical, and negative sometimes. It’s difficult to be positive in speech when you’re angry or frustrated. I know, I’ve tried. Lately, I’ve taken to just not talking in general. Unless I’m chatting with a friend or someone, I’m just not interested in talking much.

The problem with this is that I feel as if I’m becoming more and more isolated. Yes, I’m staying out of considerable amounts of drama that is of no concern to me, but at the same time, I feel like I’m missing opportunities to engage others in dialog. This, to me, is lacking in the modern Western culture… with texting, email, the internet… people don’t often take the chance to speak face-to-face with other humans. How else are people, especially young people, going to learn to communicate with others in work, school and their personal lives? How else are people going to learn the nonverbal cues of communication that often is much more telling than their words?

Here’s what I’ve been quite introspective about as of late: How can I communicate best in a particular situation? Is it to not say anything, to share my opinion in a cautious and caring way, or is to be open and honest while considering the feelings of the person to whom I’m speaking? I’ve been trying these out in situations where I think they’ll best fit and overall I think I’m doing pretty well.

At work, where I have an abundance of time to think about anything and everything, I’ve essentially stopped talking. My work is such that chatting to make the time pass is common and people are regularly joking and sharing details of their lives. I have opted to stay out of these conversations, aside from the occasional lighthearted comment. This has an unfortunate side effect… the days DRAG on. I find myself watching the clock compulsively.

That is not to say that I have not had very deep and interesting talks with people at my job, because I most certainly have. But these discussions are during breaks or after the brunt of the work load has been completed. I enjoy these types of conversations more than any idle chit chat throughout the day could ever compare to.

I feel as if talking one on one with someone about higher level topics (and sometimes nothing more than a tee-shirt tan line) enables me to connect with those parts of communication that mean so much. Being able to share ideas and thoughts, even if they may not match my own, respectfully and thoughtfully is something I didn’t realize I was missing until I consciously brought more of it into my life.

Recently I saw a picture of what someone spray painted under a bridge. The words said “Fear is a liar”. This struck a deep chord with me because I am not immune from fear and it frequently rules my life. This is something that has made it often difficult to communicate with any degree of courage or strength. In a way, it’s become my new mantra and using those words has allowed me to overcome fear in a few situations where I needed to communicate courageously and clearly.

Anyway, this is what I’ve figured out so far in my quest: fear holds you back from being able to communicate directly and courageously, idle chatter is often nothing more than a time filler, finding people to share ideas with is crucial to Right Speech because it allows agreement and disagreement to happen and for me to act accordingly, and courage is a much larger part of communication and Right Speech than I ever imagined.

(http://www.soulschoolonline.com/2012/03/communications-perceptions-assumptions-oh-my/)

(http://inspiredwednesdays.blogspot.com/2012/01/fear-is-liar.html)

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Cultivating Happiness and Personal Growth

Welcome to my quest for intentional happiness and self-improvement. In this post, I’ll be sharing the goals, progress, and lessons learned as I create more joy and purpose in my life this year.

There are a few things I am going to use as my blanket statements/ overall mantras and one is something that I read in The Happiness Project, the second is another famous statement. Both have really struck and stuck with me.

The first being a quote from G.K. Chesterton, “It’s easy to be heavy: hard to be light”.

The second is yet another quote, but from the Dalai Lama. “If you want to be happy, practice compassion. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.”

I’m sure that not everyone wants to read about the hum-drum of my process for this mission I’ve set for myself this year, but I do believe it’s kind of important to mention that since undertakings such as this are incredibly individualized, everyone has their own methods and ways to tailor their efforts to work for them. In my case, I’m taking the Noble Eightfold Path of Buddhism and taking actions that apply to those items. I plan to cultivate my happiness by trying to become a better Buddhist in addition to being an overall better person in the world. Instead of doing one fold per month, I’m had to shuffle it around just a little, since, well, there’s 12 months in a year.

So here’s my plan starting now:

January and February
~Right Effort and Right Meditation

“Be authentic” is the overall goal of these months, but here are my goals and how I’ll try to accomplish them.

  • Outside chaos is inside chaos: declutter, organize, clean
  • Practice makes perfect, do it until it’s right: learn a new skill
  • 15 minute miracles: A.M. yoga, meditation P.M. talking, cleaning
  • Look good, feel good: dress for success
  • Meditate in a way that works for me: try different techniques

I want to focus on Right Effort because without this basis, all others are useless. By honing my efforts, making the “why” as specific as possible and reframing my basis to not only include things that make “me” happy, but also those around me. The other prong of The Path is Right Meditation. I chose to do these two items together because not only is it critical to have the right effort, but getting my head in the right space is also essential to creating positive, happy and lasting changes in life.

I think the first goal is pretty self explanatory and for those that have seen my desk in the office or my car, clutter and organization are huge issues for me. The second goal is really just a reaffirmation of the first one, to keep me on track with not only organization, but also my efforts in general.

Miracles

15-Minute-Miracles are something that I thought of the other day to describe how I want to accomplish things. I live an incredibly busy life, as most people do, with my job, my family, my last year of college and outside interests many things end up falling through the cracks. I am terribly forgetful, sometimes disorganized (I sort of live in a perpetual state of organized, rushed, complete chaos) and it leads to significant stress and unhappiness. My plan is that for 15 minutes each, everyday, I will do yoga because not only do I love it, but I always manage to avoid it in lieu of “real work” or some other tasks that need to be done. Meditate, because I’m terrible at it and find it truly difficult to center myself in a meaningful way. I need to try and find alternative ways to accomplish 15 minutes of calm each day. Talk with my wonderful fiance- face to face, television off- about whatever, just to take time to reconnect in a different way on a regular basis. And finally cleaning. In a busy life, something has to give, our dishes are usually that thing. We are not blessed to live in a place that has a dishwasher, so it’s hand washing and it’s not particularly fun. I think I’ll find it less of a mountainous task if I do a little bit each evening and it’ll help me find more peace in the kitchen, where I spend a lot of my free time. I love to cook.

Look good; feel good is something a friend of mine has said for years and while I wholeheartedly agree, I suffer from the “I don’t care” attitude, similar to that of a teenage boy. I work in a warehouse, so it’s not exactly the place to wear my good clothes, however, I spend an awful lot of time in class where I’m mistaken for an 18 year old that just rolled out of bed and put on the first wrinkled tee-shirt they could find. I am old enough to at least look like an adult. That is going to be rather difficult for me, I think. But other people taking me more seriously will be a great source of confidence, especially when I’m preparing for graduation.

The final goal is to find a method of meditation that works for me to find peace and clarity. Sitting meditation just isn’t something that interests me since I find it rather impossible to sit still for that long without clouding my mind with a flood of things that I could be or should be doing instead. Yup, I’m that person. I make mental lists of what I have to do or should be doing and then constantly mull it over and over in my head. But that is something I need to do, clear my mind, even it’s for only 15 minutes a day.

There’s my outline for the next two months.

I invite you to join me on this quest for happiness, share your progress, and embrace the challenges that come with growth. Let’s create a life of purpose and joy together!

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