Tag: Religion and Spirituality

Busy?

Are we really busy? Or are we distracted? Overwhelmed with all of the things that are expected from us? Straight up, burnt out? And more to the point, what can we do about it?

Last night, I had best laid plans to come home, get settled, and get writing for my 500 words and take a moment to meditate and reflect. Yeah, that didn’t happen. I had every intention of sitting down while my kiddo was eating dinner and my partner was otherwise occupied. What my rational brain did not take into account were the plans of other people. The kiddo wanted to play bubbles in the yard and call grandma. The dogs needed attention. Dinner needed cooking. Meltdowns happened when it was time to come back inside after bubbles. Downloading with my partner had to happen. By then, it was bedtime and even that was a challenge with yet another, more massive, meltdown.

It seems with our busy lives that there’s just no break. The days run together and it’s hard to catch your breath. But what if it wasn’t this way? Would we just simply fill our time with more crap to feel like we are productive? I know that I’m often at odds with “free time”. I feel like I’m not “doing” anything and therefore wasting my finite time. However, what are we really doing with a lot of this time? Yesterday, when I could have been writing at work, I was online shopping for some dress clothes and a couple things for the kid. I was also compulsively checking my email for no reason at all. I wasn’t waiting for anything important. Just kept checking, about every 30 minutes. Also, I scrolled facebook like you wouldn’t believe, or would you? Social media, while often a necessary evil to this modern world, is responsible for hours of our lives disappearing in a blink of an eye. How many times have you been mindlessly scrolling to realize that it’s been an hour, or possibly more? I can confess that it happens to me regularly. Looking down at my phone for countless minutes, only to suddenly come back to life with half my day wasted. It’s such a time-suck.

Now, this isn’t to bash on the FB, because that’s certainly easy to do. But rather, it’s to highlight that we need some things to be happy, healthy, truly productive humans. The first being, needing time to decompress. We are so stretched in our daily lives with the pressures from work, home, kids, partners, and much more. There must be a few moments each day (gasp!) where we disconnect with outside forces and focus inward. Next, we need to simplify. If it’s committing to fewer obligations in a day, so be it. We need to accept that we are human beings, and while marvelous creatures, we simply cannot keep going at the pace in which we are. It’s burning everyone out at record speed. This makes us grouchy and short tempered. It makes us unable to make the myriad of decisions we need to, with a clear head. And finally, we need to slow it all down and refocus on what is important. Yes, we all make excuses that if this or that doesn’t get done by whatever time, some consequence is looming. However, I posit this question in all sincerity. What happens to US, to our psyche, our souls, if we no longer take the time to appreciate the world around us and the people, places, animals, etc in it? What kind of life is that? Is it even one worth living?

If we do not have the deep genuine connections with those around us, what is the point? If you read a previous entry of mine, THIS IS YOUR LIFE. This is what we’ve got. We have the chance to make it everything we’ve ever dreamed of, or we can work ourselves into the ground, completely missing the beautiful experiences we could have had. And trust me when I say that I’m not coming at you with this shit from my ivory tower. I’m a working stiff just like everyone else here. I clock my hours and get paid what my employer thinks I’m worth. I’ve got bills and a family that need my attention all the time. I’ve got pets that need feeding and care. I’ve got a car that needs repairs all the freaking time. This is not a judgement. It’s a plea. The collective conscious needs to change from this scarcity mode of operation. We need to find the joy in everyday so that we are not just existing to pay bills. I certainly didn’t come into this life thinking that I was going to work to pay bills and then die. Fuck all that noise. I’m not on this planet to slave away, are you? I’m on this Earth to learn and grow, experience and change. I’m learning this more and more as I get older.

Join the revolution. It’s beautiful here.

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What the world needs

To put it mildly, there’s an awful lot of terrible shit going on in the world. It’s truly mind-boggling how the 24 hour news cycle, media sensationalism, political figures, war, famine, abuse, bigotry, and all of the misery throughout every corner of the planet is beamed into our every waking moment. Thanks to social media and cable news, it’s easier than ever to see destruction and get overwhelmed by these horrors. As a matter of fact, the abundance of these terrible tragedies is so ubiquitous, that it’s created a new condition called compassion fatigue. I call it apathy.

This new, collective apathetic nature of humanity is making it even harder as a society to stop these terrible events. To me, that’s the real tragedy. We feel hopeless and powerless, when in fact, we are nothing but powerful. We have just forgotten that we create the world around us. We have forgotten that WE ARE POWERFUL.

What the world needs now, is love. Love is the light it the darkness. Love and gratitude are the only things to save us all. We can all be free if love and gratitude are the baseline. I know it sounds trite and totally cliche, but I truly believe this to be true. I can tell you, that in my own daily life, when I lead with love and gratefulness, I am better and so are those that I come in contact with.

It’s easy to be angry and hateful. It really is. It’s easy to be pissed off about your life and all the shit surrounding it. But love, especially when things don’t go our way, is really fucking hard sometimes. I’m human just like the rest of you, and I get real mad about things. However, the minute I empathize and come from a place of love, I feel better. When I feel better, I behave better and think better. If I can feel better and do better, I can radiate love and feel lighter.

It’s that lightness I want to bring into the world around me. I want to be a beacon of light. A lighthouse for those lost in a dark sea. I want to guide those ships home. Home is where the light and love are. Without the light, there’s only darkness, and that’s where the collective seem to be. Honestly, that’s the real tragedy. We’ve lost our way, and we need to spot the light. We need to follow the bright spots and let them bring us home.

Home is where the heart is. Love can grow there, thus creating more love and light. We are capable of illuminating even the darkest of places with love. What the world needs now, more than ever, is each of us to become lighthouses in all the dark places.

No, that isn’t just some hippie nonsense. Each and every one of us has the power to create light around us. Instead of yelling at the asshole who cut you off in traffic, you can say that you hope he gets to work on time, or that he needed to get somewhere in a hurry, so it’s ok that one car got in front of you. Instead of lamenting your micromanaging boss, you can understand how they may feel inadequate and powerless in their position, and those feelings spill over sometimes. Instead of flirting with your cute coworker that has a partner, you can understand how yes, the attention is nice, but how would you feel if that were your partner flirting at work or school? Rather than being mad at your lazy kids for not cleaning up after themselves, you can recognize that children are under immense pressure at home and school, as well as their brains are still being formed and cognitive ability just isn’t there yet. We can all be the light. We can all be love and gratitude, we’ve just got to do it. That’s where I am. I vow to be a light creator, and a beacon of love and gratitude. Join me. Let’s create the world we want to see.

Thanks for reading.

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Do you?

The last few days, I’ve been meditating prior to beginning my writing for the day. Today, I spent my morning tending to someone in pain, rather than officially meditating. That in a way, was meditative, to me. It gets me out of my own head, focused on another, with nothing but help and kindness on my brain. However, I’ve also been letting some ideas marinate outside of the meditative process, so that these ideas settle into my conscious mind. For instance, I’ve been listening to a couple of books, as I’ve previously mentioned, but I stopped earlier in the week, so that the concepts can sink in and become resonate in my conscious mind. My subconscious has it under control, I’m sure. But the slow part of my silly human head, that “rational” part… it takes time to “get it” quite regularly. Anyway, these ideas are slowly coming into their resting places in the old noodle.

Simultaneously today, I had a conversation with a couple of dear friends about 100% different things. One is a rather new friend, but he and his wife and I have a very deep friendship, bordering on family. The other is a lifelong friend, whom has been my partner in many adventures since we were teenagers. Both conversations were moving and shone of synchronicity to things I’m developing in my own personal life. Without giving out too many details of these interactions, I am simply grateful to be the caliber of person that those close to me seek advice from. I feel so honored and blessed that I can help people work through difficulties in their lives. It’s truly my life’s work to be in service of others, and to make the world a better place for everyone that inhabits it.

This is literally the reason I am not only a Buddhist, but also an animal advocate. It is my sincere wish that no being on this planet suffers, and while much suffering is unavoidable, I aim to inflict zero suffering on those I encounter. I do not kill animals for food, clothing, or otherwise. I do not kill insects. I am grateful for the plants that gave their “lives”, while not sentient, they are comprised of energy and I respect that force. By no means is this to say I’m better than anyone. Quite the contrary. I believe that I am no better, therefore, I have no right to take that which is not mine to take. Lives of sentient creatures are not mine. Beyond not willfully inflicting suffering, it is my mission to help those in need.

Too often in our society is it easy to get what is called “compassion fatigue”, and as an empathic person, I am continually overwhelmed by the sadness around me locally, and globally. However, I have always been taught to look for the helpers. In every tragedy, there are people doing good and that is how folks like me don’t lose all faith in humanity pretty much every single day. Instead, looking for those bright spots instills faith that all hope is not lost, and when there are no visible helpers, BECOME ONE. By taking up the mantle of HELPER, you empower other people to do the same. It is often uncomfortable and sometimes downright scary to be the helper, but it is so worth it in the end. Ripples become waves and we can change the world. We just must start with ourselves and work outward. In short, be the helper. Be the light. It can literally change the world.

With sincere gratitude, thank you for reading.

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Meditation and email are hard

Meditation is hard, I think.

Or is it? I am someone who struggles with sitting still. Relaxing is a monumental task. Quieting my mind is Sisyphus worthy. However, this is exactly why I am forcing myself to do it. Really, “forcing” isn’t exactly accurate. I’m excited to be embarking this adventure, truthfully. I’m all about bettering myself and creating the best version of myself every day. Since I’m not in competition with anyone, I simply seek to be better than I was yesterday. However, meditation is still hard, in a way. 

Recently, I’ve listened to several audiobooks (thank you, library) about meditation and manifestation, as in many ways there are overlaps with the methodology between the two concepts. I’ve listened to books about chanting meditations, spiritual meditations, secular meditation practices, and how to manifest one’s own destiny. Not only have I taken the pieces from each of these works that resonates with me, but I’ve discarded the parts that are at odds with my beliefs or ethics. 

For instance, I was listening to a book yesterday and the author prescribes a “diet” during what he describes as a spiritual cleanse. You are supposed to follow this diet while doing this particular regimen. The foods in this diet are limited in scope, for a purpose, according to the writer, however, I am a long-time vegetarian and vegan. He recommends eschewing vegan beliefs for the sake of the cleanse, to which I promptly said, “Not fucking happening”. I’m unapologetically vegan and no doctor is going to suggest that I’m more important than the life of the animals they are trying to get me to eat. Sorry, bro.

Because I subscribe to no dogmatic religious order, I can read and take lessons from all the sage philosophers throughout the ages. I get to glean lessons taught by Jesus, Gandhi, Buddha, Confucius, Copernicus, Plato, Einstein, and Galileo. Plus, anyone else that I see fit. I don’t have to follow a religion to find lessons in their teachings. Being a non-theist is awesome that way. I believe that there are lessons in all things, including my meditation practice. 

In many ways, I believe intense focus on a thing, whether it’s chanting, breathing, non-thinking, or whatever I’m choosing to use during that meditation session is a means to enlightenment and self-mastery. I also think that writing can be a form of meditation, as can walking, or skating, or dancing, and countless other avenues. The ways to enlightenment are vast. There simply cannot be just one method that is “right” for everyone. And even if there was, I’m positive that I could never do it that way. I just cannot find it in myself to do the things that everyone else are doing. It’s not who I am at my core. I’m not wired that way. And I think that’s something that many people struggle with during meditation. People are taught a way of doing it and are convinced that it’s the ONLY way. When it doesn’t work for them, or they struggle, they get down on themselves for not doing it “right”. I know that this was me not very long ago. But here’s the secret… the “right” way, is the way that works. If you find that doing something a certain way doesn’t feel right, do the thing differently. Find a way to do anything and everything that works for you. If it works for you, how can it be “wrong”? Right? 

In my old Buddhist temple, one of the discussion leaders was frequently saying to the group discussion participants, and I’m assuming it’s from a Buddhist text that I’ve not read (there are many), that there are 108,000 ways to become enlightened. Who’s to say there are not many more? Find the path that is designed for you, and if there isn’t one, forge your own. No matter what, don’t stop trying to find the things that work for you specifically. Do not bend to the will of others if it is unsustainable. It will leave you angry, weak, misshapen, and often-times, broken. Find your path and it will not be quite as hard to walk it. Meditation is something that I look forward to now, because I get to experiment with what will help me quiet my busy brain, and also deepen my soul’s connection with all things.

P.s. I wrote this yesterday, but forgot to email it to myself from my work computer. 😑

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Some thoughts on gratitude

Grateful seems such a trite simplification of what it is that I feel these days. Upon searching for synonyms for the word, thankful, beholden, pleased, and indebted came across. Still, none of these feels like the right word… Appreciative, contented, happy, satisfied, charmed… that’s getting closer.

Regardless of the triviality of the words by which we are limited, I am indeed, overcome with deep gratitude for where things are in my life. Is daily life on this rock difficult? Sure thing. Do I get worn down by the daily grind? You betcha. Do I feel a constant stirring in my gut telling me that I’m on the right path, albeit restlessly? Absofuckinglutely. There is not a fiber of my being that is telling me I should be elsewhere, for maybe the first time in my life. I am currently creating the life I’ve always dreamed of, not necessarily where I thought I would, and certainly not with whom I ever thought possible. But that’s the fun of creating something you’ve never created before. The surprises. 

I am not one to be surprised by much, simply because I have seen and done many things that are stranger than fiction. However, once in a while, I am awestruck by the strangeness that my life has become. I have been driving to work in my car, and thought to myself, “How. The Hell. Did. I. Get. Here.” I say this to my partner several times a week, it seems. How did we get here? With all the twists and turns and shake-ups… we ended up here, in this space together. It’s very bizarre. But I am grateful. 

I’m overcome with gratitude when I pick up my daughter from my sister’s house every day after work. She comes running out the door, yelling “Mommy! Mommy! You’re back!” and I tell her, “Yes, baby. I will always come back for you.” Pure bliss is on her face, so excited to see me after a long day of playing with cousins she’s just recently met, and a loving family that have been too far away until we moved across the country for better opportunities. 

I am showered in gratitude, like waves in the ocean, the feeling of love and connectedness washes over me in these simple moments. Holding my kiddo, waking up with my partner, relaxing on the couch with the dogs and cats. All of these simple joys are what my soul has needed recently, after the months of anxiety and stress, the challenges I’ve recently had to face. After losing almost everything, I can only live in a place of love and gratitude. There’s no other place to inhabit. I have been blessed with exactly the life that I’m meant to have.

And by no means is this post meant to be braggadocious. Quite the opposite, actually. I firmly believe that if I am deserving of everything my heart has truly desired, a simple, beautiful life… it can be had be anyone. We ALL DESERVE to have a simple life, full of love, devotion, gratitude and grace. We just have to let it in, and let the bullshit wash off. Happiness is a choice. The Universe WANTS that for us. We just have to choose it. I choose happy every single day. You can too.

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