I first want to say that under no circumstances am I the pinnacle of morality, nor am I the “high and mighty” type. In the spirit, of well, honesty, I can’t say that I’ve always been truthful either. When I was a kid I’d fib pretty regularly to “not get in trouble”, but somehow I managed to get into more trouble by lying. As a young adult, I was not the pinnacle of honesty by any stretch. I did and said many things that I’m not proud of, but they have made me who I am today.

Saying that, I have a very good friend that often gives me advice about issues I’ve had over the past several years. Many of these topics revolved around “shady” morality, generally on one hand was the truth and it’s consequences and on the other, any varieties of non-truths or omissions of the truth with their respective consequences. But somewhere in the middle of these two hands was what I wanted to happen, clouding everything, as well as the variables of humanity and human reactions/ actions.

Now, I have learned that if I can evade, I will… I’m sure that other people do it too. Because of this, I adopted a “only direct questions yield direct answers policy”, which means that if the person doing the questioning does not ask the appropriate question to get a direct answer, they don’t get one. Only in certain situations does this A) work out the way you want it to, B) have a positive outcome at all and C) happen often in my life anymore simply because it’s too unpredictable.

However, there is one sure fire way to get, at the very least, out of the stress of lying. Lying is freaking HARD work. As we all know, lies compound and we all too often get buried in them if they get out of hand. So, yeah, the truth. It’s a good idea. I’m not in any way saying that the truth is always a good idea, because if your significant other says “do I look fat?”, you may want to take evasive measures. That or invest in sound protective gear. You may get beat up.

But I think that telling the truth in regular life situations leads to telling the truth in the big situations too. For instance, if you accidentally send an incriminating text to the WRONG person, it’s best to tell your friend that yes, you were talking about them behind their back, you’re a total asshat and you meant to send it to someone else rather than letting the chips fall. Not only should you tell the truth, but you should also maybe be proactive with the apologies.

Doing things unprovoked, like telling the truth, will free up so much of your mind space, heart space and let you not worry that somehow the truth will “come out” in a way you hadn’t intended. By doing things like telling the guy you like that you’d like to see him this week, or complementing someone on their shirt choice today will bring positivity into your life. It’ll attract people who like you, people that can share honesty, and appreciate your openness. YES, it’s incredibly difficult to be proactive and put yourself out there, and yes you will screw it up and end up occasionally bludgeoned. But, it’s all a learning experience, this life, isn’t it? Learn to dust yourself off and get back on the path. You’ll be surprised what comes to you.

As my closing statement about this whole honesty thing, don’t be a jerk. If your version of honesty is harsh, brutal to anyone but your ego, hurtful, malicious and all that negative stuff, it’s truly best to just keep a lid on it. Nobody needs you to add to their stress and they certainly don’t need to you drag them through the mud. The universe is good enough at that without your help. Cultivate kindness with those whom you are blessed to be around. Even the negative ones are a blessing. They teach you things the kind ones cannot.

Thanks for reading!