Tag: right action

Day 31 and 32- Gratitude Project

So, I was sidetracked yesterday with family and errands yesterday. I missed my post, but I’m making up for it now.

I’m grateful for the ability to run errands. We have a vehicle that works most of the time, even though it’s incredibly finicky. I have a job to pay for the car and it gets me to that job every day. It’s a safe car that keeps my family safe when we’re riding in it and I have to say it’s pretty fun to drive. I love the brand of car we have (Subaru, for those that are wondering), and will not likely own a different brand. I trust them with not only my life, but also the lives of my friends and family; my most precious cargo.

I’ve got the time to devote to things other than work, such as spending time with family and friends, because I only work one job at the moment. I use this “spare time” to run errands, like grocery shopping and taking pets to the vet. I’m grateful for this ability.

I’m also thankful for the fact that my husband is able to stay home with our daughter. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but it needs to be mentioned again. Last night was very challenging sleeping. She woke up every 30-60 minutes from about 9pm until 6am. I was up with her during those hours so she could get the attention she obviously craved from me. But the highlights of my day are getting phone calls from my husband on speakerphone, with her cooing and chattering on his lap. They call me when she wakes up in the mornings, and often when she gets up from her naps. It makes my day. If she were in daycare, not only would she be being raised by strangers, but I wouldn’t get to “talk” to her several times a day. I’m grateful for these moments, since she is growing up so fast, this time is fleeting. I’m also grateful for the cost savings of him being home and in school, rather than trying to eke out a living while paying the outrageous costs of childcare. I’m grateful for his willingness to be a stay-at-home-dad/ student.

My heart is full today, as is my caffeine level. I’m grateful and so very fortunate to live this challenging, fantastic life.

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Day 29- Gratitude Project

Today I’m grateful for something most people would find strange, a chronic illness. When I was 25 I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I’ve lived with this condition for a decade now and I can’t say it has been great. However, as I was thinking about the challenges this week, I realized that part of the challenge has been my fibro symptoms. As anyone with the condition knows, there are a variety of symptoms ranging from depression to widespread pain and fatigue. I’ve been experiencing all of these that I just mentioned. And of course, these things compound on each other. You’re depressed, so you have a bad day, so you’re more depressed, so you have a worse day, so you’re depressed further… It just never ends, until you make the conscious effort to end it.

Last night I had to apologize to my husband because I was just in a crappy mood, and snapped at him for not being a mind reader. I realized that the weather has been affecting my mood, as has my flare-up. It’s been compounding all week and even this morning I recognized that I’ve been just all around feeling terrible.

Since I was thinking about it this morning on my way into the office, I now recognize that I’m grateful for this condition and everything that comes along with it. The reason for this is that having Fibromyalgia forces me to A) be more in tune with my body and mind, B) reminds me that I need to take time for self-care regularly, and C) provides me the opportunity to acknowledge and be aware of how I interact with those around me. These things are constantly forcing me become a better version of myself and for that, I’m grateful.

I’m thankful for opportunities to improve myself, my mindset, and my attitude. To put a spotlight on areas that need improvement can sometimes be frustrating, as I do not always want to admit that I have shortcomings. But at the same time, it allows me the chance to be better. My perfectionism really likes “improving”, even if it is at the chagrin of my ego.  I am grateful and embrace the chance to be better for myself, my family, and the world at large.

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Day 28-Gratitude Project

For some reason, this would not post for me yesterday… so I’m posting it now.

Today I’m grateful for the fact that I work between two sites. They’re a few miles apart from one another, but I’m glad I had to go to the other site this morning. I’m grateful for the few minutes I was able to relax, regroup, and rock out in the car.

This morning was challenging. This week has really been tough in general. But today was enough for me to want to get in my car and drive away from my job and never come back. It’s not the job, and it’s not my boss. It’s one of the other managers that’s creating a hostile work environment. I used to love coming to my job. It’s challenging and fulfilling. I really enjoy my work and almost everyone who works here.

But this week has my wanderlust in a frenzy. When I get stressed out and upset, I want to go away from the problem. So, upon thinking about it and writing it out right now, I should be grateful to this manager for creating an environment in which I do not want to stay in. She’s motivating me to do something else. Now the question is what? No matter what it is, I want to do it for myself. I’m not interested in having a ‘boss’ any longer. Regardless, I’m grateful for the time away from my desk and the motivating to GTFO.

 
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Day 24- Gratitude Project

I’m grateful that life keeps reminding me of my limitations. For example, what I think I can accomplish in a day, is generally vastly more than what I can do in a day. The universe is constantly reminding me that I’m only human and cannot do everything. I’m thankful for this. Life continually throws distractions, roadblocks, and wild goose chases in my path so that I slow down and remember that everything is unfolding just as it’s meant to. 

While I’m racing to an invisible finish line, against faceless opponents, the universe is regulating my pace through direction and misdirection, teaching me lessons along the way. I’m learning to follow my authentic self, and learning to SLOW DOWN. All I want is to get to the end of the race so I can bask in the glory of completion, and so I can move on to the next thing. 

There is no NEXT THING. This is it. This is THE THING. I’m grateful that the universe continually is making sure I understand this. Of course it all goes off the rails pretty regularly. The universe focuses on keeping me on track, but still humble. My gratitude for this knows no bounds. 

An example of this is last year I was contacted by a former supervisor that I did some contract work for. He wanted me to come on board permanently. There were lots of hoops to jump through with my company and with his. However, I felt like something wasn’t right, timing or something. Suddenly, I declined the position. 

I hated my job, but my gut was telling me not to do it. Plans my family was working on fell through, and I was pretty disheartened. I gave up this lucrative job for nothing. I was angry. I ended up staying at my job several more months. We ended up selling our house and buying a new one on the other side of town from my work, and even further from that job I let go. Instead, a job that was MUCH more exciting, far less demanding, and less than 5 miles from our new home basically landed in my lap. I just had to show up for the interview. I took that job and I even make more money than the one I didn’t take. I’m grateful for the universe showing me it wasn’t right. 

I’ve experienced other situations where the universe seemed to conspire against me, only to reveal that my best interest was always at heart. During those times it’s frustrating that I’m not getting my way. I get angry when things don’t work out as I painstakingly planned. I’m grateful that life proves that the universe has bigger plans than I do. I just have to be patient and allow them to unfold. I’m thankful for the lessons of patience. 

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