Manifesting Destiny

For those of you that have read the first couple of posts in this blog, you know that it was partly sparked by the book The Happiness Project. This book prompted me to write out goals in clear ways and hold myself accountable/ document my progress. This blog has helped tremendously and I’m actually a little surprised that I’m still sticking with it. I’ve got a couple other blogs that I’m not nearly as dedicated to. I think that may be part of the nature of the beast though, in that I’m constantly doing something to improve my life, whereas I’m not constantly doing things that apply to those particular blogs. Sounds like I’ve got some work to do…

http://egyptsaidso.com/weekly-motivation/if-destiny-is-by-choice-not-chance-then-what-are-you-choosing/

Anyway, as part of the book, the author wrote a manifesto. Yes, a real life manifesto. I think most successful people have done this very thing, I should maybe get on that too… but I digress. Here’s her manifesto:

A Happiness Manifesto
-To be happy, you need to consider feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.
-One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy; One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.
-The days are long, but the years are short.
-You’re not happy unless you think you’re happy.
-Your body matters.
-Happiness is other people.
-Think about yourself so you can forget yourself.
-“It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.”—G. K. Chesterton
-What’s fun for other people may not be fun for you, and vice versa.
-Best is good, better is best.
-Outer order contributes to inner calm.
-Happiness comes not from having more, not from having less, but from wanting what you have.
-You can choose what you do, but you can’t choose what you like to do.
-“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” —Robert Louis Stevenson
-You manage what you measure.

Many of these points in the manifesto (I just love that word) apply quite specifically to the goals I’ve set out to achieve this year. She just uses different words for many of the items I’ve checked off the list or am currently working on. I guess checked off the list isn’t the right term, since, I’m constantly working on every goal I’ve laid out.

http://www.epicparent.tv/teach-your-kids-to-choose-joy/

A couple of these things I’d like to bring attention to though, primarily “you manage what you measure”, “happiness is about other people” and “you’re not happy unless you think you’re happy”.

You manage what you measure- this one fits perfectly into my concept of holding myself accountable for the work that needs to be done in this adventure. If it can’t be measured, or at the very least compared to previous ways of acting or thinking, there’s never going to be progress. I had to keep this in mind a lot this year. Even if it’s biting my tongue where I normally wouldn’t, or leaving a conversation that is not getting anywhere. Comparing it to previous ways of thinking and behaving is a measurable way of showing progress. Progress is essential. Otherwise you’re just spinning your wheels.

Happiness is about other people- as described in the book as well as this blog and in my head, doesn’t mean external happiness through other people, but that if you strive to be happy in the presence of others and strive to aid them in whatever ways possible, THAT is a major source of great happiness. I love helping others and making their days brighter. It makes me feel good too. Plus, if you’re radiating happiness, other people will be attracted to that.

http://keturahweathers.theworldrace.org/?filename=og-love

You’re not happy unless you think you’re happy- has been a big stress factor for me. Other people in my life SAY they’re happy but come off as truly miserable much of the time. But on the flip side, I often feel down or stressed out, but I make it a point to do it with a smile. As mentioned previously in posts, people cannot figure out how stupid and bad things can happen to me, but I’m smiling, although I said I was furious at the time. I feel less like crap when I’m smiling, and even if I’m furious, I have to laugh… otherwise I may scream or cry. There have been times where I’ve had to excuse myself from situations to do either of those things… scream or cry. But those times are getting to be fewer as time goes on and I’m able to smile more through the pain.

My destiny is to be happy and to help others. I know very clearly where I’m headed, the path is exactly paved for me. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t speed bumps, potholes and detours. I can accept that and I embrace it. That is why life is called a journey. If it were easy, it’d be called a stroll. I find myself hiking up and down cliffs a lot, but through all the struggles and heartbreaks, there’s nothing in this world that I’d trade it for. Even through my fury and deepest sadness, I love my life. I love that I can fall, get tossed and crushed, simply to pick myself up off the ground and slowly trudge on. When I see people coping with incredible adversity and struggling, yet do it with a smile and grace, I remember that this is the key to a truly happy life. The strength to get up every day, to go on, to pick yourself up from the gutter, and to embrace the beauty and lessons that life has given you… that is true happiness. Happiness within yourself. The strength to continue experiencing it. With a smile.

http://freckles-lifewithfreckles.blogspot.com/

Truth be told OR… Brutal honesty, either way.

I first want to say that under no circumstances am I the pinnacle of morality, nor am I the “high and mighty” type. In the spirit, of well, honesty, I can’t say that I’ve always been truthful either. When I was a kid I’d fib pretty regularly to “not get in trouble”, but somehow I managed to get into more trouble by lying. As a young adult, I was not the pinnacle of honesty by any stretch. I did and said many things that I’m not proud of, but they have made me who I am today.

Saying that, I have a very good friend that often gives me advice about issues I’ve had over the past several years. Many of these topics revolved around “shady” morality, generally on one hand was the truth and it’s consequences and on the other, any varieties of non-truths or omissions of the truth with their respective consequences. But somewhere in the middle of these two hands was what I wanted to happen, clouding everything, as well as the variables of humanity and human reactions/ actions.

Now, I have learned that if I can evade, I will… I’m sure that other people do it too. Because of this, I adopted a “only direct questions yield direct answers policy”, which means that if the person doing the questioning does not ask the appropriate question to get a direct answer, they don’t get one. Only in certain situations does this A) work out the way you want it to, B) have a positive outcome at all and C) happen often in my life anymore simply because it’s too unpredictable.

http://www.careerattraction.com/the-truth-about-the-hidden-job-market/

However, there is one sure fire way to get, at the very least, out of the stress of lying. Lying is freaking HARD work. As we all know, lies compound and we all too often get buried in them if they get out of hand. So, yeah, the truth. It’s a good idea. I’m not in any way saying that the truth is always a good idea, because if your significant other says “do I look fat?”, you may want to take evasive measures. That or invest in sound protective gear. You may get beat up.

But I think that telling the truth in regular life situations leads to telling the truth in the big situations too. For instance, if you accidentally send an incriminating text to the WRONG person, it’s best to tell your friend that yes, you were talking about them behind their back, you’re a total asshat and you meant to send it to someone else rather than letting the chips fall. Not only should you tell the truth, but you should also maybe be proactive with the apologies.

Doing things unprovoked, like telling the truth, will free up so much of your mind space, heart space and let you not worry that somehow the truth will “come out” in a way you hadn’t intended. By doing things like telling the guy you like that you’d like to see him this week, or complementing someone on their shirt choice today will bring positivity into your life. It’ll attract people who like you, people that can share honesty, and appreciate your openness. YES, it’s incredibly difficult to be proactive and put yourself out there, and yes you will screw it up and end up occasionally bludgeoned. But, it’s all a learning experience, this life, isn’t it? Learn to dust yourself off and get back on the path. You’ll be surprised what comes to you.

http://knowledgemaven.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/convenient-lies-and-misplaced-truths/

As my closing statement about this whole honesty thing, don’t be a jerk. If your version of honesty is harsh, brutal to anyone but your ego, hurtful, malicious and all that negative stuff, it’s truly best to just keep a lid on it. Nobody needs you to add to their stress and they certainly don’t need to you drag them through the mud. The universe is good enough at that without your help. Cultivate kindness with those whom you are blessed to be around. Even the negative ones are a blessing. They teach you things the kind ones cannot.

Thanks for reading!

Happiness by the kilowatt

Live the way I want to live, walk the walk, harmoniously
Temper, temper: whenever I get angry, meditate instead
Let it go, it’s not personal, and even if it is, it’s temporary: karma isn’t always yours
Live in the now, but think of the future: find sources of joy and memories

This has been a really strange week. There was a holiday right in the middle of it and it’s hard to know what day it is, though, I know it’s Saturday. I spent half the work week thinking that it was Monday. Anyway, happiness has seemed pretty elusive for those around me. It appears to be a time of great change for several people (including myself). Some of these people are going through physical changes, others it’s geographical, still others it’s purely financial. Nevertheless, each of my friends are experiencing levels of hardship, sacrifice, or upheaval. Many of them are facing significant challenges to their lifestyle or quality of life because of the changes that are happening.

The question I’ve been thinking about in the past few days is, how can someone remain “happy” during extremely difficult situations? I know that I’m experiencing moments of pure joy during incredible struggle. From moment to moment, I can’t say for sure that I’m happy, but I am feeling the most positive about my life, my future and myself as I have in several years. This is a totally foreign feeling, simply because I’m often too focused on other things to enjoy this feeling of happiness in the moment.

At the very same time, as I’ve been told, I appear to be maintaining my composure and nobody would ever know that I was stressed, struggling or experiencing real difficulties. That, to me, is a small success. I am often quite reserved and don’t allow the whole world to see my inner workings. Once you’re within my sphere of close companions, my “tells” are much easier to read, since my guard isn’t nearly as strong. I know that a few of my friends have a similar ability, but I’m pretty good at reading them. Shout out to Peaches. ;)

Shake it Out- Florence and the Machine

I am pleased to say that while I’ve got personal struggles happening, I’ve also got personal successes happening too. I think that’s why maintaining is relatively “easy”, there seems to be a greater sense of balance between good and bad. As for the goals of Right Intention, I’ve really made it a point to cultivate the right mindset and a clear path to internal happiness.

In a conversation yesterday, a friend and I were talking about our parents not listening to our opinions, even when backed by true facts. We decided it was based on our “status” in relation to our parents. They don’t want to learn something from their kids. I know I’ve been going on about nutrition and health with my mother for years and then out of the blue she shares some information that she heard from elsewhere, that I’ve said a million times, like it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. But this conversation ended with the notion that sharing information must be effective to be worthwhile. If the audience isn’t ready, they will not absorb it. This applies to me and the happiness project in that rather than beating everyone over the head with information, I just live it. Walking the walk, and allowing that to be my method of persuasion seem to be most effective in most cases. I am open to sharing information, but wasting my time preaching helps no one.

Pictures of Success- Rilo Kiley

The other aspect of my goals that I’ve been working on primarily is finding sources of joy in my life and trying to get as much out of those experiences as I can. This has been a little bit of a struggle because I’m used to MAKING things happen, rather than enjoying them as they are. I’ve truly had to change my way of thinking, almost over night, because I was going nowhere good thinking I could control every detail of everything. So, while certain situations might not be “perfect” they’re pretty damn good as they are and I should embrace them as the wonderful experiences they are instead of being upset that they aren’t “my” way.

Collect Call- Metric

And finally, to bring this blog full circle with it’s title, music. Music has been a huge source of support, strength, courage and joy for me and several of my friends lately. We’ve been listening to a lot of music and sharing it with one another. It’s been really great getting back to music. My whole life has had an internal soundtrack and reigniting my passion for music has made every minute of my days more bright. I cannot express how amazing that feeling is, the feeling that someone has taken your struggles, heartbreaks, joys, gratitude and put them to music and shared them with you. It makes people feel less alone to know that others share their experiences and put them out in the world. I know I feel that way.

Thanks for reading this very long blog. I appreciate those of you that read it and those that also read and comment. :)

Right Intention

July and August
~Right intention
Live the way I want to live, walk the walk, harmoniously
Temper, temper: whenever I get angry, meditate instead
Let it go, it’s not personal, and even if it is, it’s temporary: karma isn’t always yours
Live in the now, but think of the future: find sources of joy and memories

The above are my goals for the remainder of the summer. If you’ve been following my progress, you can see that the next two months are going to consist of variations of some of the year’s previous goals. I think that all of the goals I’ve set down for myself are quite important, but these are apparently things I knew I’d need more work on about now. I wrote all of my goals for this year in late December. I have not changed or altered them, nor added and subtracted. A few of them I changed the wording, because I wasn’t sure it “flowed” well for other to read. Aside from that, I’m copying and pasting the things I’ve set out to do from a file.

What I find the most interesting about this particular set of goals is that they are possibly the most relevant to my life at this time. It’s actually unbelievable. I know that there are people out there with much heavier things in life affecting them, and I’m not in any way trying to compare my life to those things. But I’ve got a lot of things weighing me down as of late and honing my skills by working on these specific goals will do me some good.

I’m excited to get these goals and growth underway. Here’s to an amazing 60 or so days!

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