Day 20- Gratitude Project (halfway there!)

Gratitude is a funny thing. Either you can embrace it in its pure form, or you can resist it. I’ve been battling gratitude in certain situations recently, but I’ve decided that I need to embrace it more fully. So, I guess in a way, I’m grateful for the lessons that gratitude has shown me. For instance, I’ve been so overcome with gratitude and truly humbled since I started writing my thankfulness yet, I’ve been partially blind to other areas that I could embrace in my gratitude.

This culminates in the fact that I’m grateful for the women who have come before me. Their struggles have paved the way for many of the things that I take for granted. I am able to wear pants, for example. I can go in public without an escort, and I can vote, should I choose to. However, at the same time, I’m an idealist. I want things to be right; I want the world around me to be a just place, and I seem to be more and more disappointed at this lack of righteousness and justice. That doesn’t take away my gratitude, but I am also not choosing to shine a light on the parts of things that aren’t perfect, that I am grateful for. Please note that this will be my only “political” post during my gratitude project.

In the spirit of true gratitude, I am eternally grateful (while also incredibly sad) for Bernie Sanders and his unwavering commitment to public service. He has not faltered in his convictions or changed his ideals for anyone or any amount of money. He has not caved to the immense pressure in decades. It has likely strengthened his resolve. I would literally walk through fire if it ensured his presidency. I truly believe that he is the only politician worth my vote that has come along in my lifetime. I am truly grateful for his lifetime of challenging the status quo and his ability to unite people. I’m truly saddened and have been experiencing a period of mourning that he is not the Democratic Nominee.

However, I am also grateful for the fact that Hilary (although, I’m not a huge fan of her) has achieved something no other woman has in our country. I am grateful for her dedication to not wavering or allowing politics to remain “a man’s game”. She may not be the person I want, she has overcome many obstacles and has worked her way to this perch. That has not gone unnoticed by me, even though I have been upset about the results. She knows how to play the game and has achieved a lot. She cannot be bashed for that, not that I’m bashing anyone.

I’m grateful that we are able to have civil discourse, and that we have relatively free elections. There are things that could be better, and I wish they were, but I’m grateful that I do not live in another country in which I do not have these same freedoms. American is FAR from perfect for an idealist like me, but I am grateful that I live her compared to many other places.

I’m not sure what I will do in November, and I’m likely to take more time to decide. But I’m grateful for Bernie, and for what Hilary has achieved. Perhaps this is a start to more women being in politics and changing the face of American governance. We certainly cannot keep going this same path.

Day 19- Gratitude Project

Today, I’m thankful for writing. I love writing and have several projects going on that involve writing. When I was in college, I hated much of the writing and after many years of school, I all but lost my love for it. I really wanted nothing to do with writing and I felt lost for a very long time. I feel lost when I stray from my love of writing. I love thinking and expressing using the written word. I even love writing by hand, even though we do so little of it these days.

Writing also makes me feel better. Even if I’m not writing about what has got me down, the simple act of expression oneself soothes me. I don’t do nearly as much of it as I’d like, but I’m working on that. I someday aspire to do it for a living, though, I feel like it could dampen my gratitude for writing if I’m doing it for money. But I feel like I can still love it, if I’m doing the writing I want to do. Writing term papers sucks the love right out of me. But writing about observations, thoughts, feelings, joys, sorrows… THAT inspires me.

So I’m not just thankful for the act of writing, but the feelings I get from it, and after it. I am also grateful for the inspiration that sparks my desire to write. I’m thankful for the words in my head, aching to come out, like a composer orchestrating a symphony. I love words and their meanings. I used to read the dictionary as a kid. True story. And I strove to learn new words, and to use them whenever possible.

I will not likely author the next great novel, but someday I would like to write a memoir, about a previous life I once had. But in the meantime, I’ll write my memoir as it goes. Even though it is a far cry from what it was even just a few years ago, I have a blessed life and a desire to share not only my life experiences, but the words scrambling in my head about it.

Day 18-Gratitude Project

This morning, I was going to write this blog, instead of this afternoon. I’m glad I waited. 

This morning I was going to write that I’m grateful for my husband and his amazing gift-giving ability. He got me tickets to see one of my favorite bands. I’ve wanted to see Modest Mouse for over a decade. We planned to take our baby with us, as we’ve done at a previous show.

However, this plan was foiled because under no circumstances are we paying $75 after fees, for her to sit on my lap or be strapped to my body for two hours in their arena. Not in this lifetime. 

So now, after a day of craziness and trying to figure out what to do about the show, I must say that I’m thankful beyond measure that my husband is staying home with baby so I can go to this show. One of my good friends is going to join me. She and I haven’t hung out in ages, so this will be a great night for us both. 

I’m grateful for my husband’s thoughtful gift and that I’m still able to go to the show, even though the original plan was destroyed. He will be missed. 

Days 16 and 17- Gratitude Project

Both today and yesterday, I’m thankful for home improvement stores. We rented a carpet cleaner and brought our carpets back to practically  new and also got a new kitchen faucet. 

It was really great to get some needed housework done. I’m grateful that my hubby was so motivated to get things done too. Thanks home improvement store, husband, and weekends. 

Day 15- Gratitude Project

This week has been a struggle emotionally, mentally, and physically. Honestly, I am most grateful that today is Friday and I have the weekend with my family. I’m glad that I’m fortunate enough to work a job in which I have two days off together and they are the weekend. Many people do not have weekends off or both weekend days off. I acknowledge the struggle with that. Not having two days off together sucks, and I feel for those that do work weekends, when they’d rather not. Since my husband is a student and stay-at-home-dad, weekends are not critical for us to have off together, but I enjoy having the same days off as most of my friends and family. We can all spend time together, which we often do. I’m grateful for this time we share on the weekends. Being able to stay up a little later and thinking about sleeping in a little (which basically doesn’t happen for parents of small children) are also good parts to weekends that I’m thankful for. I’m glad that I get a break from my daily work routine and I’m so fortunate to spend the weekends with my baby and husband. Today I’m thankful it’s Friday and the weekend is about to begin.

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