I am proud of my ability to not drop an F-bomb today, but damn I wanted to. People are trying to make me crazy at work, so bad.
I pride myself on my ability to babysit grown adults and conduct myself professionally. I was definitely skating that line of professionalism at a couple moments today. However, my desk Slinky and a few muttering-under-my-breath choice words.
Anyway, tomorrow is finally day two! Yes! Progress!
So did I mention I literally can’t go an entire day without saying the F-word? Today is no different. However, I think I need to revise my rules again. Not just so I can complete this task in front of me, although getting past day one would be nice; but instead to be more precise in my expectations and what I’ll be held accountable to.
Since I use that particular word like a comma (no, really), I have decided I’m only not allowed to use it negatively. I mean, that’s what this is about: rewiring my everyday habits to raise my vibration to the more intensely positive, isn’t it?
I’m going to still try and refrain from using the word generally, in hopes of expanding my vocabulary, but if something is super great sometimes a “Fuck yes!!!” will be the only appropriate response. I’m not trying to limit myself, and not using F in a positive situation would be limiting.
Nevertheless, specifics aside, I’m still on day one. In every other aspect, I’m feeling successful. The words I typically use in negative situations are easily replaced by lower intensity words. This has helped gently bring down the negatives, allowing me to feel more positive about situations that would normally have a greater negative impact on my mood, or worse, escillate the situation further negatively.
Further, telling people I’m having a wonderful day, rather than a good day just feels good. I like feeling wonderful. I like being ecstatic about things. I enjoy having an exciting time, rather than just a fun one. These are all fantastic things to feel and I’m grateful that I get to feel them whenever I want. This part of my assignment I’m feeling good about. I like. Now, if I could just stop cussing when I’m upset.
More to come. Thanks for reading!
Today was a huge change from yesterday. I feel more uplifted and positive about my ability to not only complete this challenge, but also change my mental outlook. I’m excited and feeling good.
That’s not to say today has been without frustrations or slight setbacks in my positivity, because having to deal with people in life pretty much ensures both of these things. However, I haven’t said the F-word (out loud, but I’m working on the running dialogue in my head next. Baby steps.), or even yelled at anyone while driving.
Granted, the day is not over yet and I still have a commute to run errands and home. I’m not being pessimistic, just realistic. I should be home in a few hours where I can relax and hang out with my family in relative F-word-free comfort. But until then, I’m feeling good about my progress!
Now, if I can get this Friday out the door, that’d be great!
This is going to take me a long time.
I have managed to go 5 hours (waking hours that is) without saying one or more of my “taboo” words. I knew this was going to be a challenge, which is why I chose the words I did, but seriously. People driving dangerously, arguing with my husband and frustration at work are a recipe for failure. I’m not sure that my words are what need to change, so much as everything around me at this point.
I know that is just my emotion speaking, but I already feel defeated. I’ve been an emotional rollercoaster today, and not being able to use my go-to words is not working out well for me. However, to my credit, just in writing this blog entry, I’ve chosen the intensity of my words more carefully. I already edited a couple words to make them more aligned with the true intensity of how I’m feeling and the reality of the situations. I feel like that is progress.
Speaking of intensity, I need to make an edit to one of my “negative” words. Instead of using overwhelmed as my replacement for stress, I’m going to use overstretched. I determined today that overwhelmed has about the same level of intensity for me and causes the same tight reaction in my body. Overstretched is a calmer word and elicits a lower vibration.
With that being said, tomorrow is another day. I’m going to start over tomorrow and do better. I’m going to try my best, because, let’s face it- I’m only human.
Today I’m grateful for flexibility. Remaining fluid in life allows a person the ability to sway in the wind, rather than to snap. This has been a challenging week once again, but not letting things get to me and just rolling with the punches has allowed me the ability to not murder people and to also be nicer to my family. I know last week I was kind of terrible to my husband and I’m trying to be better. He’s also been helping more so that I don’t feel under so much pressure. I’m thankful for this too. He loves me and is willing to help me keep my sanity. I like that about him, amongst other things. Being flexible has helped not just at work, but also at home. I could be freaking out because our baby was up 100 times again last night, but I know these times are fleeting and she will be grown before I know it. Instead, I roll with it and get back to sleep as soon as possible after she settles down again. I’m grateful that she usually settles down fairly quickly.
