Tag: stress

Day 29- Gratitude Project

Today I’m grateful for something most people would find strange, a chronic illness. When I was 25 I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I’ve lived with this condition for a decade now and I can’t say it has been great. However, as I was thinking about the challenges this week, I realized that part of the challenge has been my fibro symptoms. As anyone with the condition knows, there are a variety of symptoms ranging from depression to widespread pain and fatigue. I’ve been experiencing all of these that I just mentioned. And of course, these things compound on each other. You’re depressed, so you have a bad day, so you’re more depressed, so you have a worse day, so you’re depressed further… It just never ends, until you make the conscious effort to end it.

Last night I had to apologize to my husband because I was just in a crappy mood, and snapped at him for not being a mind reader. I realized that the weather has been affecting my mood, as has my flare-up. It’s been compounding all week and even this morning I recognized that I’ve been just all around feeling terrible.

Since I was thinking about it this morning on my way into the office, I now recognize that I’m grateful for this condition and everything that comes along with it. The reason for this is that having Fibromyalgia forces me to A) be more in tune with my body and mind, B) reminds me that I need to take time for self-care regularly, and C) provides me the opportunity to acknowledge and be aware of how I interact with those around me. These things are constantly forcing me become a better version of myself and for that, I’m grateful.

I’m thankful for opportunities to improve myself, my mindset, and my attitude. To put a spotlight on areas that need improvement can sometimes be frustrating, as I do not always want to admit that I have shortcomings. But at the same time, it allows me the chance to be better. My perfectionism really likes “improving”, even if it is at the chagrin of my ego.  I am grateful and embrace the chance to be better for myself, my family, and the world at large.

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Day 28-Gratitude Project

For some reason, this would not post for me yesterday… so I’m posting it now.

Today I’m grateful for the fact that I work between two sites. They’re a few miles apart from one another, but I’m glad I had to go to the other site this morning. I’m grateful for the few minutes I was able to relax, regroup, and rock out in the car.

This morning was challenging. This week has really been tough in general. But today was enough for me to want to get in my car and drive away from my job and never come back. It’s not the job, and it’s not my boss. It’s one of the other managers that’s creating a hostile work environment. I used to love coming to my job. It’s challenging and fulfilling. I really enjoy my work and almost everyone who works here.

But this week has my wanderlust in a frenzy. When I get stressed out and upset, I want to go away from the problem. So, upon thinking about it and writing it out right now, I should be grateful to this manager for creating an environment in which I do not want to stay in. She’s motivating me to do something else. Now the question is what? No matter what it is, I want to do it for myself. I’m not interested in having a ‘boss’ any longer. Regardless, I’m grateful for the time away from my desk and the motivating to GTFO.

 
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Day 19- Gratitude Project

Today, I’m thankful for writing. I love writing and have several projects going on that involve writing. When I was in college, I hated much of the writing and after many years of school, I all but lost my love for it. I really wanted nothing to do with writing and I felt lost for a very long time. I feel lost when I stray from my love of writing. I love thinking and expressing using the written word. I even love writing by hand, even though we do so little of it these days.

Writing also makes me feel better. Even if I’m not writing about what has got me down, the simple act of expression oneself soothes me. I don’t do nearly as much of it as I’d like, but I’m working on that. I someday aspire to do it for a living, though, I feel like it could dampen my gratitude for writing if I’m doing it for money. But I feel like I can still love it, if I’m doing the writing I want to do. Writing term papers sucks the love right out of me. But writing about observations, thoughts, feelings, joys, sorrows… THAT inspires me.

So I’m not just thankful for the act of writing, but the feelings I get from it, and after it. I am also grateful for the inspiration that sparks my desire to write. I’m thankful for the words in my head, aching to come out, like a composer orchestrating a symphony. I love words and their meanings. I used to read the dictionary as a kid. True story. And I strove to learn new words, and to use them whenever possible.

I will not likely author the next great novel, but someday I would like to write a memoir, about a previous life I once had. But in the meantime, I’ll write my memoir as it goes. Even though it is a far cry from what it was even just a few years ago, I have a blessed life and a desire to share not only my life experiences, but the words scrambling in my head about it.

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Day 15- Gratitude Project

This week has been a struggle emotionally, mentally, and physically. Honestly, I am most grateful that today is Friday and I have the weekend with my family. I’m glad that I’m fortunate enough to work a job in which I have two days off together and they are the weekend. Many people do not have weekends off or both weekend days off. I acknowledge the struggle with that. Not having two days off together sucks, and I feel for those that do work weekends, when they’d rather not. Since my husband is a student and stay-at-home-dad, weekends are not critical for us to have off together, but I enjoy having the same days off as most of my friends and family. We can all spend time together, which we often do. I’m grateful for this time we share on the weekends. Being able to stay up a little later and thinking about sleeping in a little (which basically doesn’t happen for parents of small children) are also good parts to weekends that I’m thankful for. I’m glad that I get a break from my daily work routine and I’m so fortunate to spend the weekends with my baby and husband. Today I’m thankful it’s Friday and the weekend is about to begin.

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Day 4- Gratitude Project

I am writing this post a day later than I planned because my husband decided that we were going to have a full day without screens. No phones, no internet, no TV, no computers… nothing at all. The reason behind this “day without screens” stemmed from a card game we’ve been playing called “Sneaky Cards”, and there are action cards, interaction cards, and all sorts of other things. But the premise is that it gets you out of your comfort zone, interacting with other people…

So yesterday, I was grateful for the time that my family had together without the distraction of screens. We are so dependent on the computer and phone and tablet and ipod and whatever being attached to us at all times. It was liberating and at the same time a little uncomfortable to go to the store without my cell phone. I was mostly concerned that if I got into trouble, I would have no way of contacting help. I had my baby with me, so that was my main concern. However, we made it to the grocery store unscathed. I am grateful for that.

During the day without screens my husband dug a trench to fill with concrete and then he filled it with concrete after we went to the home improvement store. This is to prevent our Houdini dog from escaping the yard when we aren’t looking. She managed to escape twice in the last few days. I’m grateful she didn’t get far, didn’t get into anything serious, and was caught and quickly put back in the house. He also cleaned out the garage while I watched our little one and went to the grocery store. We had our meals together as a family at the table, instead of on the couch in front of the tv. We listened to music, read books, and just enjoyed our time together. I’m incredibly thankful for these moments.

After dinner, my husband called off the screen-free day. This was a little earlier than the card suggested, but I’m impressed at how long we went without really missing it. However, he was sore and tired, and just wanted to relax on the couch as a family. The baby crawled around the couch and floor while we talked and played with her. We watched an episode of a show we’re watching before we went out to water the garden. Soon after, I went to bed and they went to the park to meet up with some friends. I am grateful that we had such a fulfilling day, followed by me going to bed early. I had to work much earlier than normal today, so I am thankful for the little bit of baby-free rest. She wasn’t ready for bed when I was. I’m thankful that he took her to the park so that she was tired when they arrived home. I was able to nurse her to sleep right away and fall back to sleep myself. I’m grateful for the small things, and the big things.

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