This week has been a struggle emotionally, mentally, and physically. Honestly, I am most grateful that today is Friday and I have the weekend with my family. I’m glad that I’m fortunate enough to work a job in which I have two days off together and they are the weekend. Many people do not have weekends off or both weekend days off. I acknowledge the struggle with that. Not having two days off together sucks, and I feel for those that do work weekends, when they’d rather not. Since my husband is a student and stay-at-home-dad, weekends are not critical for us to have off together, but I enjoy having the same days off as most of my friends and family. We can all spend time together, which we often do. I’m grateful for this time we share on the weekends. Being able to stay up a little later and thinking about sleeping in a little (which basically doesn’t happen for parents of small children) are also good parts to weekends that I’m thankful for. I’m glad that I get a break from my daily work routine and I’m so fortunate to spend the weekends with my baby and husband. Today I’m thankful it’s Friday and the weekend is about to begin.
Day 14- Gratitude Project
Today I’m grateful for a simple thing. Sometimes it’s the only thing that can keep us from completely falling to pieces. That glue today is music. I’m so beyond grateful for the art of music, and my ability to listen to it whenever I want to. We have virtually unlimited access to unlimited music from across the world. I’m grateful that not only do I have the ability to hear it and that it’s available to me, but I’m also extremely thankful for the musicians, producers, and technicians that make modern music readily available to us. I’m fairly certain that without music that spoke to me in all of my trials, tribulations, joys and sorrows, I would not be here today. Music provides an outlet for singing, dancing, and many feelings that I would otherwise not be in tune with. Music speaks to me on every level, and I am just so damn thankful that it exists and I can listen to it. I have laughed, cried, danced, sang, spaced out, and more to music. My goal is to continue listening to music until my ears no longer work or I leave this plane of existence. I hope that there’s music in the afterlife, whatever that may be. Music has made my day better today and helped keep me focused on the tasks at hand, including this blog. I’m thankful that I carry music with me on my phone, in my head, and in my heart. I’m also grateful that my husband and daughter love music as well. Our tastes may be significantly different, we still appreciate it equally. For this too, I am thankful.
40 days of gratitude
The theme of this blog has been evolving ever since I began typing that first blog several years ago. I was searching for meaningful ways to bring more happiness into my daily life. I was in the midst of college and in a dark place in my personal relationships. I was not living authentically or really living at all. I was just grinding it out, day in and day out; existing simply to finish my then goal of graduating college. I was on the back end of personal tragedy and heartbreak, in the middle of a difficult and potentially dangerous situation, and getting ready to step off a cliff into the unknown. There were so many forces at work and I had to focus on the positive. I’m nowhere near where I was, but I’m not yet to where I want to be. I am evolving, and so is this blog.
So I recently asked myself the following:
What is it with 40 days/ 6 weeks? Lent is 40 days; maternity leave is about 6 weeks after the baby is born for those that get it. Why are these numbers or timeframes so engrained in our past and present lives? I don’t have these answers, but I’ve been inspired.
I was reading a book that I was meaning to read for a long time. It was on my Amazon wishlist for a few years, and I finally received it for my birthday, I think. I didn’t read it right away for some reason, but I’m glad that I did. Reading books has gotten harder since having a little one at home. She takes up 99% of my spare waking time that I’m not at work. The other 1% is cleaning. Anyway, the premise of the book Life is a Verb, is that 37 days (which is very close to 40) can transform your life. There are a series of stories and activities to do at the end of each one for 37 days. Each of these activities are designed by the author (whom I seem to feel is a kindred spirit from her stories and experiences) to help you live the life you want. Living the life I want, spending more time with my family, working smarter-not-harder, and being in the employ of myself are my main goals, but living a more grateful and joyful life have been my “small” goals for many years.
Those of you who’ve been following this blog for any length of time know that I’ve been studying and seeking greater happiness for a long time. I’ve had moments of elation that I cannot compare to anything else in this life, but I’ve also experienced some of the most devastating despair and loss that I’ve ever had in my 35 years on this earth. Of course, I’ve felt everything in between and surely will over and over again as I grow older. I hope that the feelings of happiness will be greater than those of unhappiness, of course, as we all do. So by focusing on what I want, instead of what I don’t want, I plan to cultivate just that.
So in the spirit of change, transformation, and happiness, I’m going to focus on gratitude. There have been countless studies and interviews indicating that the more a person is grateful, the happier they are throughout the course of their lives, and also exhibit more satisfaction with their lives in general. I’d like to practice more gratitude, because while I’m extremely grateful for all of the things in my life, I feel like if I can bring intention and magnify the things in which I am grateful, more of these things will grace my daily life.
I have decided that I want to challenge myself to not only be grateful, especially amidst stress and fatigue, but I also want to challenge my personal dedication to writing. I love writing but find that I make excuses not to do it, mostly evolving from not having enough time. Because of this, I want to focus on just a few minutes of writing each day to express my gratitude. Gradually, or at least periodically, I’m sure my entries will be long, but I’m guessing that most of them will be short. Probably very short. But the goal is to do it. Starting tomorrow, I’ve set an alarm to ensure that I simply don’t forget to write. It is my intention to bring attention to this particular goal for just a few minutes every day.
So stay tuned! And wish me luck. I’ll likely need it.
The universe is sometimes against us
I have decided that life is not about just seeking happiness and making it to the proverbial finish line, but it’s also a series of tests to see if we’ve learned anything along the way, peppered with randomness and a nice helping of karma.
It’s hard to change old habits, I’m as good an example of this as anyone, but I’ve got to say it’s MUCH harder when you feel like you’re constantly fighting the flow. Every where you go, there’s this invisible force constantly pushing back on you. The harder you fight, the more tired you become. The worst part is that you can clearly SEE your goals and they are just out of reach. 
It’s even harder to truly change when you’re stretched thin as it is. In this modern world there are intense pressures: work, school, families, taxes, traffic, bills, uncertainty… and then when you are working towards a goal, having everything imaginable pushing you back from that goal, makes it that much harder. It’s defeating. But what can you do? Give up? Never try in the first place? What would be the point in living, if you’re never striving for anything? You’d be like a stick in the sea… just floating along, never going against the current. How boring would that be?
Seeking and striving for goals is what helps make life worth living, but it’s hard to maintain when it seems that everything in the universe is against you. There’s a lesson in there somewhere, maybe it’s to change your attitude about the experience or tweaking the process, but there’s got to be something to learn from it, right?
( Above image from http://thebeautifullstruggle.tumblr.com/)
