Practice makes perfect and other silly things

I say that practice makes perfect is a silly thing simply because I suck at failure. Everyone’s heard the saying “doing something over and over again, yielding the same results is the definition of insanity” or some version of the same sentiment… I see imperfection as failure. So if I’m trying and trying and trying, but failing every time to meet my self proclaimed level of perfection, I feel defeated and kinda crazy. Part of the exercises for this and next month is to try and break that habit. I want to let go of “perfection” as I see it and “failure” as it relates to perfection. Just because something I do isn’t perfect, doesn’t mean I fail. But by calling it practice makes perfect, I’m able to reassess what perfection is to me. Is it getting all A’s this semester? While that would be perfection and I’m definitely striving for that end, I have to be ok with allowing myself a B or even a C without beating myself up over it. I had a hard time with this last semester. I just had to remember that my best, whatever that is for each and every thing I do, has to be good enough… “perfect” in it’s own rite. This also makes me mindful of my limitations, though I try to keep those to a minimum…

I think this is sort of a blanket feeling for all my goals this month, the idea of perfection. Because I’m focusing on Right Effort and Right Meditation, I have to sort of figure out if the INTENT is right, not necessarily the outcome. I have to say that every one of my goals: Decluttering, learning a new skill, dressing more “my age” sometimes, my 15 minute miracles and meditation, are INTENDED to be perfect and also a process of change and learning. I don’t know if it’s exactly possible for them to all be BOTH. I’m almost ready to say that my goals are my new skill for the months, simply because I’ve never undertaken a series of goals such as these, at least not in this way before. I’m learning the art of imperfection, growth and allowing myself to be, well… myself while doing and holding myself accountable for all these procedures.  When I think about them in the grand scheme of things, it’s a bit overwhelming.

But I guess it’s my version of shock therapy. I’m shocking myself into changing my thinking, acting and mindset, about just about everything.

This brings me to Benjamin Franklin. He was a drinking, a womanizer, a founding father of the US, an inventor and many other things… but he was also on a personal quest to find personal, moral perfection. He had 13 virtues that he was striving for, resolved to try and perfect each one in himself, created charts and tracked his own progress on these virtues. Here’s his list:

  1. “TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.”
  2. “SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.”
  3. “ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.”
  4. “RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.”
  5. “FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.”
  6. “INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.”
  7. “SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.”
  8. “JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.”
  9. “MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.”
  10. “CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.”
  11. “TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.”
  12. “CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.”
  13. “HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.”

As I read through these, I found that several of them are quite similar to what some of my goals are, more or less. It’s interesting that even hundreds of years ago, humans have been riddled with self reflection about many of the same topics. We are all striving, in some form or fashion, to achieve the same goals and “virtues”. I find it quite interesting that even before the advent of telecommunication, the internet, mass transit and all of the things we take for granted in modern society, we all just want to be better, more aware, more kind people. It gives me hope that I’m on the right track and also a bit humbling because even someone so decorated and admired through our country’s history, was imperfect himself… struggling to make himself better. It makes me feel less alone in my thinking that I can be happier in my daily life, I can be a better person and live a good, humble life.

Anyway, I thought that I would share some thoughts for the day. Happy Sunday to everyone! Feel free to share your thoughts and comments about this or any other topic. I read them all and accept them, as long as they’re not spam.

Finding Happiness Through Light and Illumination: Embracing Positive Change

The funny things about happiness…

Happiness can be elusive, but it’s something we can find in everyday moments, whether it’s through positive thinking, embracing Buddhist principles, or choosing light over darkness. Here’s how I’ve been practicing positivity in my daily life, despite the challenges.

Overall, I feel that happiness is a funny thing. Happiness is contagious, like laughter. On the other had so is sadness, misery (loves company, right?), anger and frustration. As one of my pillars of awareness/ quotes from The Happiness Project states  “It is easy to be heavy, hard to be light”.

I think this statement has deeper meaning than “weight”, however, and it fits perfectly within the concepts of Buddhist principles. We say that Amida Buddha is the Buddha of Infinite Light and Life. So in the statement, “light” can mean illumination. It is easy to fall into darkness, difficult to be illuminated. That’s a really profound and, for lack of a better term, heavy thought.

Some examples from my own life that bring this idea into focus for me, at least have been recent events. One personal, one professional.

How Choosing to Let Go Can Bring Light to Your Life

I have recently had a falling out with a very dear friend. Her and I have a huge difference of opinion, to say the least and I felt as if it were time to sever the friendship because the way that she and I interact sometimes has been the cause for  a lot of sadness and hurt feelings on both sides. So, as I was gracefully trying to “break up” with her, at least for now, she came back ten times more hurtful and only made things worse. It’s easy to fall into darkness. And rather than let the situation knock the light out of my life, I chose not to engage with her. This doesn’t mean that I’m not still deeply hurt and affected by the loss of a longtime friend, but it also shed light on a few things that I was blind to see. The situation truly shed light on how she and I were friends and how we acted toward one another. I’m not absolved in any way, I am just as much to blame for the way everything went down as she is, but I’m choosing the path on the high ground right now. It would have been easy to shoot back insults, call her out on every little thing, nit pick, be malicious… but I choose the hard road of illumination. This project and the things I’ve recently read and learned have really reframed my thinking about how to engage with others, what’s constructive and what isn’t. I’d feel a thousand times worse had I let her have it with both barrels. Not to mention the situation would have only gotten bigger and bigger, rather than just smoldering.

Embracing Joy in Difficult Situations: Lessons from My Job

I currently work in a warehouse. I pull and ship orders to our clients along with a few other people. We are a very small crew because corporate hasn’t a clue what we do there. Gotta love mergers and big business. Anyway, during the holidays, it’s extremely tough. We have days off of work, however our clients still can place orders through the internet and sometimes with our call center. That means when we come back to work, it’s SLAMMED. This year has been no different. Every holiday is this way, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving… you name it. But in December, we’re saddled with the added struggle of the sales people trying to meet quotas, boost their year-end bonuses and clients trying to use up their remaining credit before the month/ year is out, as well as closing out our month and year accounting. Then, after Christmas and New Years only a week later, we are hit by the fallout from the holiday and the push to order because everyone’s credit limits are reset. A very long, difficult story short, we pulled over 1300 products and sold over $100K in one day, with a crew of 4 people. It was almost a 12 hour day. We were getting orders of over 100 products, per client. But throughout the day, most of the time we were all smiling and laughing, even though it was so stressful and busy. If we didn’t laugh and joke, it would have made the day a million times more miserable. We were all tired and hungry and sore and overwhelmed, but we each chose (even the old crabby guy) to be lighthearted and joyful. The bigger the orders, the more we laughed about it. We’d make silly comments about the type of products or the weight of the boxes, but all in all, we each took it in stride. We couldn’t change the situation, we just simply changed how we looked at and reacted to it. This is why I love my job.

Have you ever faced a difficult situation where you chose to stay positive? Share your story below!

Slow and steady wins the race, right?

Day 3 of my Happiness Journey

Three days into my personal growth journey to find lasting happiness, I’m already facing the challenge of breaking old habits. Here’s how I’m trying to stick to my goals, despite the setbacks

We all remember the story of the Tortoise and the Hare, a slow, steady paced Tortoise wins out over the initially sprinting & sleeping Hare, but does that apply to life changes or to happiness?

Challenges of Creating New Habits for Happiness

Here’s what I’ve got so far: not once have I done all 4 of my 15- minute miracles. I’ve tried. But man, I get sleepy some nights or meditating is not easy and don’t get me started about yoga on mornings that I get up WAY before the sun. Strangely, when you set a timer to something, the seconds seem to literally DRAG on and on. I was doing yoga yesterday morning and I was all excited to be setting out my mat, but as minute 6 came to a close, I was lamenting the timer completely. I’m truly enjoying the cleaning up of the kitchen though, since much of what I’ve been cleaning is my blender that I use daily for breakfast smoothies, the coffee pot (which I may die without) and my coffee mug.

Sadly the quest to clean and organize has stalled due to work hours being CRAZY long, but that will be a task better served to start when I have a few minutes during the day to focus, rather than in the evenings after an exhausting day.

Anyway, I’m finding that my head is in the right place, it’s just making my body do what I want it to do. Story of my life. :) Until next time kids!

Share your tips for overcoming challenges in your own happiness journey in the comments below!

About this blog…

As you could probably tell from the name of my blog, it’s about a year of happiness, that year starts, basically now.

A little background: I have been bogged down, stressed out and overwhelmingly anxious and unhappy in 2011. That is going to stop the minute 2012 rings in. After reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, I’m convinced that I have to complete a happiness project of my own.

The basics: Each month you set goals for yourself and keep them to promote not only your happiness, but harmony with those around you. I find this a fascinating Buddhist-like project and since I’m a practicing Jodo Shinshu Buddhist, I’m going to tailor MY project into a Buddhist themed happiness project.

The point: By tailoring the push toward happiness, since it’s not always easy to be happy and even more to the point, it’s downright hard to be happy sometimes in the modern world. People claim to be generally happy in their day-to-day lives, but I just can’t accept that this is all their is to my, or anyone else’s happiness. I’m generally ho-hum and scratching and clawing to make it through most days. But that is all going to change.

It’s not going to be an overnight thing, it isn’t meant to be. It’s meant to be tasks to achieve happiness over time.

So here’s my start. I’ve got a rough outline that I’m hammering out the details to TODAY so that I can finalize my plan and this blog is not only to document my journey to lasting happiness, but also to keep me focused and to keep me on track.

So sit back and relax, we’re officially flying by the seat of our pants!

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