Tag: The Happiness Project: Or Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning Clean My Closets Fight Right Read Aristotle and Generally Have More Fun
Hey there readers of my fledgling little blog, what few of you are left since I fell off the Earth.
I first want to thank you all for sticking with me and the crazy project I’ve had going on here. You stuck with my hairbrained plan, followed me through the ups and downs and I’m glad we made it. Without many of you, I’m not sure that I would have.
As many of you have read through these last 12 months, I have set out very specific goals for myself and a track to get to where I want in life. Not surprisingly, it hasn’t exactly gone the way I’d hoped and it certainly hasn’t gone smoothly. I’ve undergone countless changes within my personal, professional and scholarly lives, only to make it through no worse for ware, on the other side.
Some of the things I’ve learned I never would have imagined, such as my inner strength and my level of patience. However, I also reinforced many traits that I knew I had, such as self determination and hardworking nature. Without those things, I easily would have crumbled. Instead, I was able to stand my ground, complete my goals and while often frayed around the edges, I succeeded. The best part is that I have my loved ones in my camp to support me through it all. I could not have done it without them.
My plan going forward is to continue to write my goals down, perhaps not as structured and specifically this time around, but to also to track my progress. I truly believe that this is what motivates me and keeps me on track. That, and my overwhelming sense of obligation.
Anyway, in closing, thank you for reading and keeping me going this year. See you on the flip side with more craziness and hilarity.
I have to admit, I’ve been letting the blog fall by the wayside lately and again, I’m sorry for that. However, I have to say that I’ve not in any way lost sight of my project and my goals that I’ve set for myself. Just the opposite really. I’ve been incredibly focused on TCOB… taking care of business.
Last month (I CANNOT believe it’s already December) was SUPER chaotic… one of the craziest this year by far. So many changes, good, bad and somewhere in between. However, this project has truly helped me follow the path that I want for myself, has allowed me to show gratitude, to help others in ways that I never could have thought possible, allowed me to grow and change, determine my boundaries and recognize my limitations. Spending a month listening to my inner voice near the end of this journey was incredibly smart of me, without even knowing it. Had I done it earlier in the year, there’s no way I would have gotten as much out of it. Having gone through everything this year has brought me to this point. I could not be more thankful. November was my time to think and to connect with my inner voice. While I’ve spent a very long time this year doing just that, this time, it was to acknowledge what I was truly feeling. It wasn’t difficult but it was necessary. I spent the month tuning in to my feelings about things and I learned a lot. I was able to see things with clear vision and to realize my boundaries in real time. THIS was incredibly important for November’s goals. Now, I can move on to my “final” set of goals…. Right Livelihood.
~Be stringent with your ethics but determine what’s really important
-Do your homework on potential employers
-Apply yourself to your future- now
-Get a career or get into grad school. Quit stalling.
So now what? Well, as you can read above, I need to figure out what I’m doing with myself. I am literally 3 weeks away from graduation and while I’ve been in college long enough to be a doctor, I’m finally finishing my Bachelor’s degree. I cannot tell you how incredibly stressful it is to be inches from the end and struggling like no other. I have had so much going on that school work hasn’t exactly been the top priority. Sadly, my grades are reflecting this. I’m not giving up without a fight and I’m certainly doing everything I can to ensure my success. However, standing on this cliff has made me realize that I need to figure out what to do now. I’ve never been this close, so I had time… now, notsomuch.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing though, since I am blessed to have a decent job and it’s pretty secure, unless I do something completely stupid and get myself fired, which is unlikely. I’ve also contacted a school about their graduate program and provided I pass this semester, I can actually go there. THAT would be amazing.
Anyway, that sort of explains the “quit stalling” part of my goals this month. I have a job and I have a plan for grad school so that I can be competitive in my field.
The overarching meaning to my goals this month is that I have to determine what is truly important to me and I’ve spent a very long time trying to figure that part out, but so far I have figured out that money is NOT that important. Yes, it makes living much, much easier, but it doesn’t rule my life like many people I know. I appreciate having money and I enjoy the things that money can buy, like food and shelter. But I don’t LIVE to make tons of cash. I live to make an impact on the world. It would also be nice to make a living out of that impact, don’t get me wrong. But I live simply enough to not need a super well paying job.
With that understanding that I don’t need massive amounts of money and I’ve centered my live in such a way that I can live within my means, I have to apply myself to whatever I do. As many of you know by now, that’s not exactly a problem, but career wise, that’s easier said than done. I have no clue how to apply myself to my future career… other than just doing it. I’m not sure that will work in this situation though. It’s going to take some finesse. The research part, I’ve got this… but since I’m staying where I am at this point in my career, it’s less about seeking new employment and about securing my position there and learning everything I possibly can that can help my future career. I need to find as much information and soak it up so that I may use that to my advantage in the future. Thankfully, I have that ability. Right place, right time in this aspect.
Another aspect of Livelihood that I hadn’t really anticipated though, since I wrote all these goals a year ago, was that my job is not my only source of living. The definition of livelihood is this: A means of securing the necessities of life.
What does that mean exactly? There are so many ways of looking at that… I mean, what do I consider necessities? Yes, there’s the usual food, shelter, clothes, air, water kind of stuff. But what else in this life do I need? I am always the person that will go without to make sure that other people have what they need. I have gone without things I need because bills had to be paid, pets needed to eat… you name it. I’m not saying that I’m some sort of saint because I’ve gone without my own necessities because of my overwhelming sense of obligation, or for sympathy… but simply as a point in my case that I really haven’t a clue what I need anymore, outside of the obvious ones.
I know that I don’t need t.v. or cable… tons of money or anything like that. But the things that I do need… no idea. This is going to be the hardest part of of my goals this month. Here goes nothing… or everything. Depending on how you look at it… :)
Happy freaking November. Man, this month seriously just snuck up on me. Is snuck even a word? My computer thinks not, but whatever… it is now. :)
Anyway, September and October did exactly their jobs as far as creating adventure and allowing me to spend time with those I love, create lasting memories and just all around have wonderful adventures. Of course these things won’t stop now that I’m moving on to a new set of goals, as this exercise is cumulative.
~Look at the true meaning, not your own perception
~Listen to your body!
~What am I feeling, honestly?
~Where’s your head?
~Show appreciation
As a Buddhist, mindfulness is quite important to finding true meaning in all things, the true teachings of the Buddha and appreciating real life, in the present.
The goals are surrounding truth this month and being in tune with not only myself, but those around me as well. It’s important for me to be mindful not only to be aware of stuff… but to also be able to show gratitude and compassion for all those that grace my life. I am so fortunate to have wonderful people and animals that balance, complete and enhance this life I’m in. Showing gratitude takes time, effort and above all… understanding. It is critical for me in my quest for happiness to make others happier also.
Taking each of these goals one-by-one, here’s the meaning behind them:
~Listen to your body!- By this I mean that I want to be more in tune with myself, my needs and come to accept my limitations. I frequently forgo sleep, food, relaxation, and general fun in my life because I’m stressed, busy, and just plain distracted. I want to listen to my body and eat when I’m hungry, sleep more when I’m tired and take time to recharge more often.
~What am I feeling, honestly?- I often bury my feelings or cast them aside in hopes of avoiding conflict or brushing them off as “reactionary” and other things I’ve deemed negative. This isn’t exactly the healthiest thing for me, nor is it a successful key to happiness. I am sometimes prone to holding grudges and being hurt for reasons that other people are unaware of. Part of this goal is allowing myself to experience feelings when I’m feeling them and also having the courage to communicate those feelings to others.
~Where’s your head?- This is more figurative than it is literal, but I do sometimes forget even where my head is on occasion… simply because I’m a frazzled mess. But the true meaning of this goal is centering. I want to take more time in my daily life to center myself and experience inner peace. Much of this started with wanting to do yoga everyday, and while much of that has fallen by the wayside, I do still have a strong desire to do it everyday. Getting there just hasn’t been easy… But this goal is more of a mental yoga. Working to not get as stressed out and to find my focus.
~Show appreciation- The key to happiness of self is helping others attain happiness. I think that many people feel unappreciated, unloved, taken for granted and all around lonely in their personal lives. I want to help alleviate some of that negativity by showing my appreciation to those that I am around regularly. I want them to know that they are not taken for granted and that they are needed.
Here’s to a happy and healthy November everyone! Be mindful and give thanks. :)
As August FINALLY comes to a close, I reflect, as I always do, on my goals and things I’ve been working on.
I have to admit I could have probably put a bit more effort into my goals the last few weeks, but it’s been a complete disaster with most things in life. Work stresses, school started and they stress me out more than just about anything… plus there’s been a healthy dose of personal life struggles as well. So, yes, I could have devoted a bit more to the master plan here, but I just needed to focus on other things and that has been one of my goals: not being so hard on myself. I’ve done the best I can with what I’ve been given and I have to be ok with that. And, for the most part, I am.
The last couple of weeks have been particularly challenging because of what I “lovingly” call the brain plague. The brain plague is a term I use for when my mind is going constantly, dwelling on things, particularly the past. I am a chronic comparer. By this I mean, I compare situations, people, myself… to things that I know. I compare last year, around this time, to now… to see what I was doing, how I’ve changed, how my life is better or worse. I do this with most things and as I’ve gotten older, thankfully, I do it less and less with people other than me. Historically, I’d compare people that I know to former people… I’m glad that’s *mostly* gone, but mentally, I still compare how I felt about certain types of situations and certain types of people, to see if the circumstances are better or worse or my actions are either of those. The brain plague is a particular type of dwelling I do about my personal history and it comes on occasion, especially in August for some reason. The thing that I’ve noticed this year about the brain plague is that I’m far less effected directly by the thoughts, but more the feelings. This has been a tough one because I’ve been feeling extra sensitive as of late and I’ve been picking up a lot of strange vibes. My motto has been “there’s something in the air”. Almost like a weight. I know that once I get the school rhythm and work balance figured out for the semester, the universe will right itself and I’ll be able to breathe again. Just a couple more days!
September and October
~Right Action
Be honest with myself and others, in thoughts, words and deeds, with compassion
Be generous: make time, give back and pay it forward
Find fun!: spend more time with those I love having adventures
Now, upon reading these goals, one might think that I’m a greedy, lying bore. Quite the contrary! However, I think that I have some tailoring to do with these goals. Being honest with myself means that I have to create boundaries and stick to them, as well as communicating honestly with myself and others if they have been crossed. I have a hard time with confrontation and I want to be able to express to people when I am hurt or upset and why. But I also want to be more open to others because I am often too reserved in certain situations. I think that will be a difficult part of the goals, being more open.
Generosity comes in various forms and I’m no stranger to giving… to a fault. But again, this is where boundaries come into play. However, I want to be generous in more meaningful ways. That means that I’ve got to not just do everything for those around me, which I’m prone to doing, but making time… especially time. But that also leads into having adventurous fun. I’m looking to have more fun and doing it with the people I love will not only create amazing memories, but it’ll also lend to me meeting like minded people to expand my friend base. Win/Win. :)
Anyway, after all the blathering, I’m looking forward to a new set of goals and enjoying the next few months! Woohoo!
I realized just now, that we’re already well into August. Man, time flies when you’re not looking.
So, what I want to write about today is that moment where things become clear. Like, the “ah ha!” that people are so fond of talking about or the light switch flipping on… those kinds of moments. Several people I know have had these experiences recently, myself included.
As some of my readers/ friends know, I’ve been experiencing some pretty significant changes in my personal life (of which I won’t go into detail here, but trust me, there’s been some upheaval) and literally one evening I had enough. That night the path became crystal clear and I knew what I had to do. The subsequent months have been quite challenging for various reasons but I’ve also never felt so immediately connected with myself and knowing that the path I’ve chosen is the right one. I have learned so many valuable things about myself, how I deal with things, and where I want to go in my life. Of course, my friends and family have been instrumental in supporting me throughout all the changes, but the hard parts… the real growth and change, has been internal. That’s really what this blog has been about from the onset, seeking to achieve goals, many of which stemming entirely from an internal (often forgotten about) place within me, seeking outward actions. The feeling as if I wasn’t on the path that I felt was right for me hadn’t been a new idea, but the switch flipped the light on in that corner of my head. The path was clear. At that moment, no matter how difficult, I needed to move into action and take a different path.
When talking with people lately, they are all at various stages in this “switch” moment, and even if the light is on, they still might not be able to see what it is they’re looking for right away. However, regardless of where they are in the process and the time it might take them to come to the same spot where I was when action, immediate action, was the only choice…. they’re on their way. Some people don’t know there’s a light switch in the dark room at all and all the while, others just don’t care.
As for the list of goals:
~Right intention
Live the way I want to live, walk the walk, harmoniously
Temper, temper: whenever I get angry, meditate instead
Let it go, it’s not personal, and even if it is, it’s temporary: karma isn’t always yours
Live in the now, but think of the future: find sources of joy and memories
Here’s my progress: As you can imagine, I’m doing the first one pretty well. I’m enjoying the fact that there is no television, no clutter, nobody to watch the clock for me or question me when I get home or have people over… except for the pets, to whom I’m grateful for keeping me on a schedule. My temper, as well as my anxiety, are not easily tamed, but as someone mentioned the other day, even while I’m FURIOUS, I still have a smile on my face. That makes me happy to know. Inside I feel like I’m scowling, but it comes out a smile, how cool is that?
I’ve begun the slow process of not letting every little thing get to me. It’s much harder than I anticipated, to let things roll. But it’s a work in progress. And finally, I am so thankful that I have wonderful people around me to cheer me up when I’m feeling stressed out, that care about me and my happiness. They provide me with so many laughs. At the same time, I’ve also been reading. A lot. It’s something that I love to do and have gotten out of the habit of over the last few years. These are the simple joys and sources of memories… relaxing, reading, talking with friends and spending time with loved ones. And yet, so much happiness.
