I found THIS BLOG and found it really great. 
I personally identify with the first one mentioned, be the best YOU an be. I’m constantly feeling like I’m playing catch-up in a race that I’m not sure I’m running. By not comparing myself to others, I can go at my own pace. I like that option.
What about you? Add your comments and let me know what you think!
Thanks for reading. :)
(Picture from: http://themescompany.com/2012/02/05/30-sun-shine-photography/)
I would be lying if I were to say that this week hasn’t been a trying one. It’s been a very difficult few weeks really, but this week has been more nonsense than I have been able to handle, for the most part. When it rains it pours, or so I’m told. However, through it all I’ve had a great support system between my love and my family/ friends. I could not be more thankful to have such amazing people gracing my life on a daily basis.
I often feel that the universe is against me. It’s human to feel as though forces are constantly pressing down on you, right? I mean, I hear of it all the time… But that got me thinking. From the moment of conception, we are surrounded by forces beyond our control, understanding and limitations. We generally adapt to gravity, the environment and other “invisible” forces working with and against us. I think the visible things are the most difficult to adapt to in this life, which is strange to me on a logical level. Other people, traffic, bills and everything in between, that we face regularly are tangible and yet we have such a difficult time dealing with them.
Even with everything seemingly falling apart, being positive throughout the trials and having the support of those around you, is really the only way to not fall into total panic sometimes. I struggle with this aspect of adulthood. When the forces get too strong or continually multiply, it’s difficult to see that the monkey wrench in the spokes of my proverbial bicycle is not going to ruin me. When the universe sends me flying into the dirt, there’s no choice but to dust myself off and keep on peddling. So in the spirit of happiness and positivity, it is not the end of the world when things go badly. It’s an opportunity to grow and figure it out with those in my life. If I’ve learned nothing else, it’s that. Value those around you. Infinitely.
(Picture from: http://bayareablogethunderground.blogspot.com/2010/09/girl-who-fell-off-bikes.html)
March and April
~Right view
Life is suffering, strive to eliminate it for those around you in ways that matter to them, not yourself
End toxic relationships for good
Cultivate wholesome relationships with like-minded people: find more vegans
Avoid attachments to unnecessary or unwholesome things: stop watching reality tv
What goes in is what comes out: go organic and/or grow it yourself
I hope that everyone had a fun Leap Day. I know it was weird for myself, writing 2/29 all day, but it was a good day as usual. I talked to a friend who’s been on my mind the last few days, so that’s always good (shout out to vegriot).
So the first part of the new year I really tried to focus inward, to make sure that I was ready for the task ahead for the rest of the year. While in a couple areas I floundered, I did really well in others. This time around I get to look outward, sort of. This is my proverbial “Spring Cleaning”, since in the American Southwest, it’s been teetering between Spring and Summer since mid-January. It was 60-ish yesterday, but all last week it was closer to 80 degrees.
Anyway, it’s important for me to feel like I’m on the right track and that not only I am happy, but that I’m contributing to the happiness of those around me. Often because of my very hectic schedule, I find myself curled up with my honey on the couch at the end of the day, chatting and checking out with some television show. Lately, it’s been a string of “Repo” shows where people are getting their cars repossessed. Sometimes the show revolves around the drivers and the melee they come across and other times it’s the people getting their cars towed… these people. WOW. Sometimes you have to wonder how much is “reality”. They’ve got to be staged. It’s often like an episode of Jerry Springer with tow trucks and weapons.
Every time I watch these programs I feel guilty. It’s sad to think that there are so many people who can’t or just don’t pay their car payments that there’s literally 10 shows on tv about them. What’s more is that it’s like watching Jersey Shore or a train wreck. You kind of get sucked into the stupidity. I’m not sure I like being part of that. It’ll be hard to convince my beloved that we can’t watch this stuff anymore. But we’ll see what happens. If I’m going to be in front of the television, which I have to admit I hate in the first place, I want to watch something of value or at least intellectually stimulating. “Bubble gum” shows are fine, I’ve got nothing against them. I love several sit-coms. But reality tv has got to go for me. I really think it perpetuates voyeur mentalities as well as people living their whole lives in the public forum. Yes, I’m a blogger and I write about my life, but the gory details are spared and I allow some serious privacy.
Another big goal is to end toxic relationships. While this may sound one-sided, it’s really not. If I am toxic to someone, I want to do them the favor of walking away or changing my behavior. I have come to understand that relationships are not the same from both sides. One side may feel like best friends and you couldn’t be closer. The other side may just tolerate you as a part of their life, barely, while secretly lamenting you. I’ve been on both sides of that equation myself. Therefore, it’s my goal to only continue relationships that are wholesome, encouraging, fruitful and fun for everyone involved. If I’m a crap friend, it’s my duty to get away from you.
By the same token, since I’ll be eliminating some people or they’ll be eliminating me… I need to find new friends that are wholesome. I want to associate with more like-minded people, rather than carrying around friends from my past forever, thinking that we are those same people. Of course, I’m bound to retain some old friends that I’m not particularly close to. I’m in no way going to just toss everyone I’m not besties with over the cliff. Not at all. But people who are a drain or I am a drain on, will not make it. This is going to be INCREDIBLY hard for me. Once I am “friends” with someone, I want to keep them, quite literally, forever. I hate ending any relationships, toxic, damaging, hurtful or not. I am the type that always seeks approval, though I often want to admit otherwise and hate it when people are mad at me for any reason, even if it’s 100% out of my control. Bending over backwards to keep someone in your life is silly and it’s not healthy.
Onward and upward! Finally, I’ll be doing a little bit of “inward” thinking too… but with purpose that radiates out. Supporting big agri-business is something I hate. I’m part of a food co op that buys local, regional and small whenever possible. I think this has been an important step in the transition to going organic. Strangely, my brother has already taken this step, but for very different reasons. I’m more about the environment and health and he’s coming from the “survivalist” mentality. Nevertheless, I love that he’s taken that step. Now it’s my turn. Since it’s getting close to planting season here in AZ, it’s time to really think about growing a garden. Having a way to produce much of my own food will allow me to spend less money on large scale grown products and more money on wholesome, local, organic foods. With that, I’m going to start composting too. I have taken note lately about how much food I waste and how much of it can be recycled into food for plants. It’s time to take that step.
I know this was a long entry and I’m sorry for that, but there was a lot to cover. Thank you all for reading. If you have any suggestions, comments or gardening tips, please feel free to share them! I look forward to reading them. Thanks again!
(above pictures from: http://www.johnsorganicworld.webs.com/ & http://www.fitnessgoop.com/2010/08/community-supported-agriculture-affordable-local-organic-produce/)
As February quickly comes to a close, much faster than I anticipated, it’s time for me to do a little reflection. The year started off a bit rocky, but once I got into (sort of) the rhythm of school and work balancing, everything outside of those two things seemed to fall more into place. That’s not to say things have been easy so far, because they haven’t been. Not even close. Stress and worry have been at a super level, but on the flip side of that, I’ve been so blessed to have comfort, joy and even a little relaxation.
Under no circumstances have my goals been easy to achieve, nor have I done them all perfectly. Hell, some of them I’ve barely done at all. But in my head, that’s ok. It’s just part of the process… learning what works and what doesn’t in my hectic life. With that being said, here’s the rundown of my goals and how well I have done so far:
– Be authentic- My overall goal- I’ve really come to accept my limitations and my strengths, as well as the fact that I’m ok being the odd bird and I embrace it.
– Outside chaos is inside chaos: declutter, organize, clean- My wonderful man has really helped out with this, since, I’m just too busy and rushed all the time to keep up with this task. He’s been amazing at helping me around the house and even organizing my messy desk for me. I’m so grateful for his support and help, especially in this area.
– Practice makes perfect, do it until it’s right: learn a new skill- I think my skill that I’m trying to master is a combination of patience and acceptance. I have been playing the hurry up and wait game for several weeks now with a few things and it’s taken a unbelievable amount of patience to not completely flip out or cave under the stress. Acceptance because I’m having to accept that I cannot control every aspect of certain situations. These have been very trying, but I’m getting there.
– 15 minute miracles: A.M. yoga, meditation P.M. talking, cleaning- These have been tough to get going too. I’m either running around super busy, or collapsing on the couch in an effort to see my love for a few minutes before bed. Yoga hasn’t happened… not more than once. I’m really sad about that, but I’ve tackled my trouble with meditation. I’ve decided that I was going about it all wrong and took a different view. I need to go back to that “Be Authentic” thing and realize that while unconventional, like myself, my choice of meditation is also. It’s not an everyday meditative practice, and that’s ok too. But the days that I get to skate, is all I need to get me through the rest of the week. Last weekend was a prime example. Skating was perfect. (I play roller derby). Talking with my honey has proven to be exactly what we need to reconnect and revive our tired connections. We don’t spend every single day chatting in our room, but most days we at least mute the tv and have a few minutes of “quality” time talking about our days or nothing important at all. It’s been really great. And finally, I’ve discovered that cleaning at night, even for 15 minutes on a regular basis, is impossible. It’s got to be in the morning when I first get up, or it’s just not happening. :)
– Look good, feel good: dress for success- So, I’m still rocking the tee shirts and jeans. But I have made it a point to buy better jeans and wear more sweaters that cover my punk rock band shirts. I’ve tried to incorporate things like scarves to my wardrobe too… dress up my everyday wear just a little.
– Meditate in a way that works for me: try different techniques- I’ve heard everything can be meditative. I believe this to a point. There’s no part of cleaning the cat litter box that strikes me as peaceful, but to each their own. I have however, found that my morning routine is quite nice though. The house generally quiet as the dogs are slowly waking up, putting together my coffee pot and creating my daily smoothie… very good for clearing the mind. Also, writing has really helped with not only my search for meditation, but also lowering my stress level on several occasions.
Anyway, that’s my rundown as the month creeps to a close. I’m excited for March to come in so I can start to focus on some new things, gain new insight and maybe even a new skill. We shall see! <3
( The above picture from: http://www.daniellemhayes.com/goals-safe-scary/)
I have decided that life is not about just seeking happiness and making it to the proverbial finish line, but it’s also a series of tests to see if we’ve learned anything along the way, peppered with randomness and a nice helping of karma.
It’s hard to change old habits, I’m as good an example of this as anyone, but I’ve got to say it’s MUCH harder when you feel like you’re constantly fighting the flow. Every where you go, there’s this invisible force constantly pushing back on you. The harder you fight, the more tired you become. The worst part is that you can clearly SEE your goals and they are just out of reach. 
It’s even harder to truly change when you’re stretched thin as it is. In this modern world there are intense pressures: work, school, families, taxes, traffic, bills, uncertainty… and then when you are working towards a goal, having everything imaginable pushing you back from that goal, makes it that much harder. It’s defeating. But what can you do? Give up? Never try in the first place? What would be the point in living, if you’re never striving for anything? You’d be like a stick in the sea… just floating along, never going against the current. How boring would that be?
Seeking and striving for goals is what helps make life worth living, but it’s hard to maintain when it seems that everything in the universe is against you. There’s a lesson in there somewhere, maybe it’s to change your attitude about the experience or tweaking the process, but there’s got to be something to learn from it, right?
( Above image from http://thebeautifullstruggle.tumblr.com/)
