Tag: The Happiness Project: Or Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning Clean My Closets Fight Right Read Aristotle and Generally Have More Fun

Manufactured “Holidays”

I just wanted to drop a quick post today about something that I find irritating.

Now, I understand that today is a “holiday”, mainly created by greeting card companies and makers of decadent snacks to get us, consumers, to do just that… consume. Don’t get me wrong, I love, love. I love heart filled sentiments and a good bit of dark chocolate… however, I don’t like feeling pressured on literally every street corner to buy something (usually a stuffed animal surrounded by candy, wrapped in plastic with balloons).

I also would like it if my single friends wouldn’t be inundated with “love” stuff that makes them feel bad about being unattached. I often think some of them feel bad enough as it is, without the extra obligation.

At the same time… I realize that some people need a reminder to do something nice for others, like around the Winter holidays, donating money or time to charity… I get it. We all have incredibly busy lives and we need reminders of things sometimes. I’m just as guilty of forgetting stuff, even stuff that I WANT to do. But I’m sorry, I cannot believe that there are people in this world, in relationships… that are generally jerks and think that somehow, if they buy something for their partner, all is forgiven. BAH! Insane.

A radio commercial that made me laugh yesterday is as follows “You can get the most romantic movie of the year “Twilight Breaking Dawn and maybe some flowers and a bottle of wine, and afterward… it’s happy Valentine’s day to you”

Wow. There are so many things wrong with that, I barely know where to start. The one thing I’ll point out though is that if you buy your lady something… you’re getting lucky tonight. That is disgusting. Sorry guys, we aren’t all like that. I’d say the vast majority are not like that. There’s your reality check.

My point is not only is our society stigmatized into buying stuff, we’re also nudged into putting out on a specific day of the year. Strange. Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, I will admit that I bought my honey a card. However, I was out shopping with a friend and I happened to see it as I walked by a small card rack in the store. I gave it to him, not for a holiday, but because it was one of the first cards that said exactly what I wanted it to (more on that another time). It was given to him days before today and I even mentioned to him that it was because I was thinking of him, which is why I got it. And, it is part of a line that’s designed by high school students in art classes, encouraging artistic expression. Plus, it has robots holding hands. Adorable.

So, in closing, I want to say again… I don’t hate love, candy or sweet words/ gestures. I do find today and the obligation of consumerism annoying. But, being able to live through it breeds happiness, right?

Thanks for reading!

(Above image from: http://frillsandthrills.blogspot.com/2011/02/happy-anti-valentines-day.html)

 

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The way to happiness….

I read a quote today that struck my sleepy brain like lightening. And here’s what it said:

“There is no way to happiness; Happiness is the way”- Thich Naht Hanh

  Here’s the light bulb that went off in my head. Now, I know this might sound overly
“Buddhist” or whatever, but part of me thinks that this is one of those meditative curiosities, like “what’s the sound of one hand clapping?” However, the other part (the larger part) believes truly that one can be happy in their regular, daily life. I know it’s true. Great scholars and thinkers and inventors and Saints have all made references to happiness and how to get there, but Thich Naht Hanh as I know that The Dalai Lama, have devoted decades of teaching to this very thing.

With that being said, I can also achieve more happiness in my regular, daily life. I don’t have to seek out joy. I need to BE the joy. Be the light, the happiness and be it every day. I’m driving myself nuts in the minutiae of feeling guilty that I don’t do yoga like I want to everyday and I’m riddled with clutter. Yes, those things make me nuts and I’m striving to improve them, but they are not the “source” of my happiness or unhappiness. I am.

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A little lacking and a bit of slacking…

I took a look at my project outline this morning and I realized that I’ve not exactly been doing so well. I’ve been trying to do my 15 minute miracles, and most of the time I manage to get one in a day. Usually talking with my honey or cleaning the kitchen. I’ve really been struggling with the overall premise for these months… being authentic. I know who and what I am, however, I’m having trouble balancing other people’s expectations of me with my authenticity. 

Everyone around me and everyone else, whether or not they know it, have expectations of the others around them. Parents, kids, pets, partners, employers… It’s constant. Finding that place where I can be myself and be what everyone around me wants is much harder than I anticipated. I feel as if I’m constantly letting someone down, me or someone else. But everyday I’m plugging away trying to find that happy/medium where I can live with myself and others want to live with me in their lives.

Here’s a recap of my goals this month and last:

~Right Effort and Right Meditation
Be authentic
Outside chaos is inside chaos: declutter, organize, clean
Practice makes perfect, do it until it’s right: learn a new skill
15 minute miracles: A.M. yoga, meditation P.M. talking, cleaning
Look good, feel good: dress for success
Meditate in a way that works for me: try different techniques

 

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Simple joys

One of my most favorite simple joys in this world, of which there are quite a few, is laundry directly out of the dryer. When I was a kid I’d love doing laundry for this exact reason. I’d go down to my musty and freezing basement only to get my clothes, piping hot, our of our machine and literally dart up two flights of stairs to my bedroom, just so I could toss them on my bed and curl up with them. Strange, I know. But when it’s -awholebunchofdegrees, it’s really amazing.

I still love that feeling, though, I don’t often toss them on my bed and hug the pile… I usually just put them directly on, buttons and rivets burning me and all. I especially love socks all toasty. By the time I get the second one on though, it’s pretty much cold.

I had that experience this morning and I wanted to share it with anyone who might be reading. What are some of your simple joys?

Please add yours to the comment section! I’d love to see what other people find simply amazing. Happy Thursday (Friday if you’re in Asia)!

 

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Unhappy sleeps

I know that sleep is one of those necessary things that some people enjoy more than others. I happen to fall into the category of “sleep is overrated” category. I’m used to sleeping relatively minimally, but I go to bed early and wake up early. I’m a tosser and find sleep generally the opposite of restful. However, I’ve determined that those few hours of unrested tossing and turning are quite important to my happiness. Without them, I am a grouchy person. I will admit it, readily.

For the last few nights, there’s been some sort of street construction/ destruction directly outside our house. Granted, we live on a very busy corner on an equally busy street, but it’s insane. The construction begins around midnight and ends around four AM. That seems a bit ridiculous, especially because our dogs go nuts with every jackhammer. So in addition to the maddening sounds from outdoors, we’ve got dog barking chaos inside.

In relation to my happiness project, I realize that I really count on, enjoy and take for granted those hours of my night to prepare me for my day. Most days when I wake up, I’m almost bouncing out of bed. I’m alert, awake and ready to tackle my routine in the mornings. Yet, the last few days, I’ve not been myself. I’m groggy, short-tempered, and uncomfortable. I have decided that I dislike this feeling greatly. I will be calling the city today… It’s better than what I want to do the very minute I hear jackhammering, which is bolting out the door in my pajamas, with wild eyes and hair, screaming at them to STOP IT! Yet I digress.

The point here is that any disruption in the status quo, our daily or nightly routines can cause great amounts of stress and unhappiness. I am just as susceptible to this as anyone, though I’d like to think of myself as pretty flexible… when it comes to sleep, forget it. I am 100% INFLEXIBLE. I need at least a few hours of good sleep every day.

What about you? Are there things that you NEED to function and to be happy? Please comment! Thanks!

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