Author: wendemachete

wend E machete is a nickname/ pen name for me, Sandra Marek, a writer and entrepreneur. I'm an active, non-traditional, bleeding heart liberal, mother, and devoted wife. I'm an ethical vegan, reiki master practitioner, yogi, meditation guide, Ayurvedic practitioner, public health nutritionist, aspiring Jodo Shinshu Buddhist minister, and scooter enthusiast. I support the open sharing of real information and the non-violent, creative resistance of authority. Question everything. Think for yourself. Live a life of loving kindness and compassion towards others. We are all interconnected. United.

Happiness for others

I have often heard that it is not really possible to be happy for others, mainly because humans are selfish creatures.

However, in my personal experience, that is exactly false. Throughout the years I have had varying doses of life beating me almost to death. Lately, I’ve not been experiencing anything close to that, but I will say it’s been my own personal hell the last several months. Yet, while I’m going through this miserable, exhausting time in my own life, I have so much joy and excitement for the wonderful things that are happening around me. Several of my close friends are having periods of growth and change that are nothing short of amazing. The children in my family and close circle are growing up to be fantastic human beings, which not only makes me happy for them and their parents, but it also gives me hope for the future.

Overall, I am so fortunate and entirely blessed to have a life (albeit a panic-attack-enducing one at times), filled with close people to me experiencing such positive events. I really, honestly, and truly could not be happier… for them. Maybe it’s the ability to compartmentalize that allows me to feel my own sorrows, while at the same time feeling such joy and happiness that my bestie got an insanely lucrative promotion, or that my nephew is starting Kindergarten in a few months, or that my brother snagged himself a great job right after he graduated college. These are really awesome life events and I’m proud to say that these people, with such great elements happening in their lives, are my friends and family.

Being surrounded by happiness and joyful events can sometimes be a double edged sword, however. I cannot say that I’m guiltless in this area myself, but I do what I can to focus on their success rather than my failures. This “zero-sum thinking” is all too common in which we spend more time comparing lives rather than experiencing or changing ones own. This is an important factor for individual happiness. It’s important because if I spent my life comparing myself to those around me (and sometimes complete strangers), I’d never be able to see the good and beautiful things that happen to me on a regular basis. Instead, I’d be eyeballs deep in woe that I do not have this job or that thing…

Suffice to say, I do not spend too much time comparing my life to that of others, because they’re simply not comparable. That’s like comparing the highlights of one to the everyday drudgery of another. Unless you are that person, you cannot know fully their experiences, thoughts, feelings, or internal struggles that go along with outwardly good situations.

In closing I will say that good things are on the horizon for those that are not experiencing good things currently. Without the struggles, we would learn very little and we would appreciate even less.

Have a wonderful day everyone!

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Going back to what I know

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Hello my faithful readers. Thank you all for continuing to support me since I’ve been touch and go. I appreciate all of your feedback and comments.

About today’s blog: I have been living through a pretty definitive shift in my life lately, much of which is out of my control. However, what IS in my control, is how I deal with these things. My usual method has to been to get angry, upset and withdrawn. These have been my “go-to” feelings when things are not the way I want them to be. However, since the inception of this blog and numerous vents to people close to my heart, it has finally settled into my brainhole that this simply does not work for me. I’m not sure that it ever did, but, damn I’m stubborn. Unfortunately, I’ve met my stubborn match, who is frighteningly similar to myself many years ago. More on that another time… Anyway, the point is that I am stubborn and I am in a relationship with another stubborn person. I am no longer able to get angry, upset and withdrawn if I want to continue to have a relationship with this person (which, obviously, I do).

Instead, I need to find the happiness that I’ve researched and written about at such length, but I also have to go back to what i know about myself, my spirit and my true self. These things are all intertwined within this person I call myself, and I am also significantly interwoven into the fabric of my life… my school, my work, my family and friends… we are all interconnected and I have been forgetting this, along with myself, in this recent time of internal and external struggle.

I also find that when I am struggling and getting angry, upset and withdrawn, instead of getting what I need, which is comfort, love, affection and just plain old attention, I get less and less of it. I’m guessing it’s because I’m being an ass and people don’t like that. I’ve also noticed that my negativity just compounds. Nobody likes that either, not even myself. I want to feel happy and joyous. I want to feel wanted, needed, needed and included, just like everyone else. The only difference is that I am getting swallowed up in the pit of despair, instead of finding the happiness that I know is not external, but an internal force. It’s just buried beneath the loneliness that I’ve been feeling lately with being isolated from those I love.

So, I have decided that I’m turning over a new leaf by going back to the old leaf that works. Spring is here (at least in my neck of the woods) and I need to be on the path to growth, rebirth, and rejuvenation. I’m going to start making it a point to focus on all the work that I put into researching and implementing changes over the last couple of years with this blog and rekindle my love for writing, and the pursuit of happiness. Great things are on the horizon friends, and I’m not going to wait for them to land in my lap. I’m going to run for it and seek out my bliss and do what I can to improve my coping skills and declutter my mind and heart. These things I know and these are the things that will guide me out of the pit and into the garden (figuratively and literally. More on that another time).

Again, dear readers, please note that I value each of you and any feedback you may have for me. I wish each of you the best on your respective journeys and hopefully you will also find your joys. Please feel free to share any stories or struggles, words of encouragement. I appreciate it all.

Take care and I’ll see you soon!

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International Happiness Day

Hello my readers. I am still alive and kicking, but graduate school has once again taken over.

Just a brief post about international happiness day is all I’ve got time for. First, is the world so unhappy that we need to designate a day for it’s remembrance? And second, since we have this day (and all others), how are you going to spend it, happily of course?

Thank you for sticking by me and continuing to follow this blog. I promise to write more, when I have the opportunity.

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The Year in Review!

As compared with last year, I didn’t exactly write down my “goals” for the year. I have actually done that for several years and when I do my year in review, I feel pretty bummed out that so few of the items on my list were accomplished. For instance, I’ve been trying to learn to snowboard for at least 6 years. Not even once has that happened. However, instead of doing that particular thing, I liberated an old console stereo from the 70s (it’s in pretty good shape) from our local Goodwill and will refinish it as time allows. Image

I’ve also done some things that I didn’t think I would do, like get married. We went on a lovely honeymoon to the Caribbean and it’s a trip I will never forget. But I realize that without some idea of goals, it’s tough to get much done, in that area of life. More times than not, it is just an endless string of days that are similar, if not the same, as the one previous and following. I feel like this time last year was barely a blink ago, while at the same time, the days seem like they’re endless. It’s a strange feeling. But I am fortunate to be living this life. As part of a meditation goes in Buddhism: “Hard is it to be born into human life. Now I am living it.” This means quite simply that being born into a human form is not easy, but each of us are fortunate enough to find ourselves here and we must make the best of it while we have this time.

My goal for 2014 is to make the best of it. I have a power year ahead of me with work and school, since I’m determined to complete my degree by this time next year, instead of taking the minimum and having to wait 2 years. Forget that! I want to be done with school and getting on to my future. That happens in 2014. So I will be overloaded as usual with work and homework, but it will be worth it. I’m also going to focus more on my garden to foster our self sufficiency. Plus, as any home owner knows, repairs and upkeep are an endless task. There will be some of that happening.

Anyway, I hope that you all find your bliss, review this past year and set goals that cultivate creativity, joy and peace in your lives. I’ll catch you all on the flip side!

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The Holiday Happiness Struggle

Hello dear readers,

I hope this belated post finds you all doing well. I am generally good, but life has been rather unexpected as of late, hence the delay in posting yet again.

Today’s blog is mainly about the holiday slump, but other fun stuff will be peppered in there too (bad pun, I know).

As we sort of steamroll into the end of the year it dawned on me a couple of things: 1) thanksgiving (for the Americans, at least) is next week. ALREADY. And 2) quite truthfully, as some readers know from previous posts, I hate this time of year. Now, before you stop reading and cast me off forever for being a Grinch, hear me out.

On one hand, the holidays are a magical time of year for togetherness, love, altruism and selfless giving. I am TOTALLY down for those qualities. However, the dark side of the holidays is where I’m lost and I hate it. Selfishness, greed, consumerism, obligation, pressure, expectation, depression, and repression are all too common and as I get older, maybe it gets easier to spot or maybe it’s just getting worse… I’m not sure. But the bottom line is that I have no patience for it and it makes me sad and angry. That is not to say that there aren’t bright spots, because there are, but good grief… People literally killing one another for a tv is just pure madness to me.

The holidays are also used as a dividing tactic, in my opinion. Families can’t be together because one member isn’t welcome, so they go somewhere else. Or the meals the celebrations are inevitably surrounding aren’t inclusive to everyone either. Such as, I’m a vegan and when I spend a holiday with my extended family, I have to eat beforehand. There will surely be a veggie tray and some soup my grandmother insists I try because I can just pick out the chicken… Mashed potatoes, but we used skim milk… what do you mean it’s not vegan?

I know they mean well, but I’m always the outsider. Even growing up I was the outsider, mainly because I was outspoken when it probably wasn’t a good idea to be and way too smart for my own good. Not much has changed. Strangely, my friend’s, boyfriend’s and now my husband’s families have always been more inclusive to me than my own family. I guess that’s why I find myself ‘collecting the strays’ ever since high school. People who have crappy families, no families or whatever their situation, they spend holidays with me. I think they need it as much as I do, that feeling of togetherness.

But as I said, I struggle during the holiday stampede and endless Xmas music to find my bliss and truly just can’t wait for the craziness to be over. I’m not sure about in other cities, but in this one, people. get. crazy. during the holidays. They get pushier, shovier, and shorter tempered in their rush to do the next thing. The universe blessed Phoenix in that it very rarely snows here, because truly I don’t think I could handle the people, snow, and the people handling snow. It would likely cause the end of the world. Just saying.

I just recently took a fundraising position for a nonprofit organization and after my first day of field training, at a mall kiosk, I’m not only doubting my effectiveness in this position but also doubting humanity. Generally speaking, I’m expected to be a barker at people walking by. This is much harder than I give those mall guys credit for. At least the makeup or jewelry people have a product to sell. We are ‘selling’ an idea. We have to tap into what we think people will care about: kids, families, disasters, violence… We have to poke the hot button. And in a split second. I am just not that smooth. I’ve never done sales before. I’m an office worker or manual labor. Standing in the middle of a shopping mall trying to hustle? Damn hard and way out of my comfort zone. I’m going to try and stick it out to see if I make improvements, but the outlook is bleak.

I’m already finding myself wishing it were January.

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