Day 29- Gratitude Project

Today I’m grateful for something most people would find strange, a chronic illness. When I was 25 I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I’ve lived with this condition for a decade now and I can’t say it has been great. However, as I was thinking about the challenges this week, I realized that part of the challenge has been my fibro symptoms. As anyone with the condition knows, there are a variety of symptoms ranging from depression to widespread pain and fatigue. I’ve been experiencing all of these that I just mentioned. And of course, these things compound on each other. You’re depressed, so you have a bad day, so you’re more depressed, so you have a worse day, so you’re depressed further… It just never ends, until you make the conscious effort to end it.

Last night I had to apologize to my husband because I was just in a crappy mood, and snapped at him for not being a mind reader. I realized that the weather has been affecting my mood, as has my flare-up. It’s been compounding all week and even this morning I recognized that I’ve been just all around feeling terrible.

Since I was thinking about it this morning on my way into the office, I now recognize that I’m grateful for this condition and everything that comes along with it. The reason for this is that having Fibromyalgia forces me to A) be more in tune with my body and mind, B) reminds me that I need to take time for self-care regularly, and C) provides me the opportunity to acknowledge and be aware of how I interact with those around me. These things are constantly forcing me become a better version of myself and for that, I’m grateful.

I’m thankful for opportunities to improve myself, my mindset, and my attitude. To put a spotlight on areas that need improvement can sometimes be frustrating, as I do not always want to admit that I have shortcomings. But at the same time, it allows me the chance to be better. My perfectionism really likes “improving”, even if it is at the chagrin of my ego.  I am grateful and embrace the chance to be better for myself, my family, and the world at large.