As a Buddhist, we generally strive to follow the eight-fold noble path. Right Action is one of those folds. However, the word “right” in all of the eight folds is quite subjective and often difficult to really qualify.
For instance, fighting in a situation may very well be the right thing for a person to do in the moment, for fear of real danger. However, it may not be “legal”, which inherently isn’t “right” in the eyes of our judicial system. Besides the judgements, is that action still morally right? I’ve recognized that frequently, “moral” and “legal” are not aligned.
In the words of the great Stan Lee- every villain is the hero of their own story.
Fear and morality are parts of Right Action, in that, our morals and our fear reflexes very much shape our worlds as individuals, and our experiences in the world at large. It’s suffice to say, that absent these guides, people would also behave very differently, I believe.
For example: if we were not afraid of consequences, I feel there’d be many more instances of people making unhelpful or unwholesome choices in their lives. If many of us did not have clearly defined morals (whether spiritually based or not), we’d have a much more aggressive and violent world. That’s not to say “moral” people don’t do counterproductive and/or harmful things. Because they often do, largely from some semblance of moral superiority or self righteousness. I just think that we’d all be worse off, without morals and fear guiding the general populace.
I know that the question: who’s to say what’s “right”, is obviously unanswerable in general, but it does bear reflection. What is right for me isn’t going to be what’s right for someone else in all situations. The causes and conditions, as well as histories of each of us often make these choices very different for an individual. What’s greater still, is having to justify that choice to others.
I try to avoid calling things good or bad, as that comes from a place of judgement, and rarely am I qualified to lay down such a determination for people other than myself. I can certainly look back on my life and Cherry-pick the items I’ve decided from the future that are both good and bad. But even this type of reflection is not helpful. I’ve decided that something that IS helpful, at least for me is to look back on those situations as “I did the best I could with what I had”. I also view other people’s actions in this frame as often as possible, because it allows room for empathy, grace, and humility for myself and those around me. It makes me feel less beat up about my own choices, since life does that enough for me, without me beating myself up for bonehead decisions. I’ve made PLENTY of really dumb choices. However, I was doing what I thought was right (most of the time) in that moment, given the causes, conditions, and where I was on my journey.
Recently, I’ve been struggling with this whole concept of Right Action and also extending grace and empathy to others. Part of that is anger and another part is moral judgement. It’s really challenging to view someone as “doing the best they can” when they’re simply being assholes, because they can in a situation. I do genuinely believe that some people are mot operating from “their best”, but rather “control”, which is a hard place to land. It makes a hard pill harder to swallow. I want to believe that there is good in others and that they’re doing their best. Yet, they’re not showing their best selves and being hurtful, hateful, spiteful, and/or malicious on purpose, to inflict pain. This is not a world I want to live in. This isn’t a life I wish on anyone.
The problem is that I want to help, to the point of exhaustion. I want the world to be kind and gentle, just and equal. It simply isn’t. Part of this, I think is my own karmic lesson. Since I am a helper and a fixer, I get very much involved in things that I think I can be of service to. Then, I feel responsible and defeated when things aren’t as I feel they should be, or the outcome isn’t what my sense of justice desires. This is certainly something that I’ve been working on for many years and will likely continue to navigate. I have a distinct view of what is or is not justice, and when things fall outside those clearly defined spaces, I feel unbalanced and that the world is all wrong. For me, it is. I am a very grounded and definite person. The world doesn’t have to bend to me or my sense of morality, and frequently does the opposite. I’ve acknowledged this about myself, and hope someday to just let things go the way they will. Until then… I’m going to be trapped in this cage of righteousness and morality that I’ve constructed for myself. And that, my friends, is not only frustrating, but also the very definition of self-inflicted suffering. However, all I can do with certainty, is continue to operate from a place where I feel I’m doing the right thing, given the causes and conditions around me. It’s all any of us can do.
Until next time…
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Here it is October 26th and I am just now reading this wonderful post because it got lost among way too many emails. First, I’ll just share with you that I often struggle with the concept of right action, as well. The first problem is discerning what right action truly is from moment to moment and day to day. When confronted by a situation that challenges us to do SOMETHING, urgently, we may simply lack sufficient knowledge and understanding to make the right choice, so we may act impulsively out of an abundance of emotion, hoping to be helpful but perhaps failing in the end. The most glaring personal failures in my own experience have been a genuine question of life and death. Should I do whatever it takes to try to save a life, or should I make the terrible decision to end a life in order to prevent further suffering? Most everything else can be tolerated or survived, but death is final. And yet, most of us would agree there are situations where death is not the worst outcome. Sometimes, it is the welcome end of irretrievable suffering and that is a good thing. Other times, we simply lack the knowledge to determine the answer to that question, or lack the resources to achieve an outcome in favor of life. It is worth remembering that we are flawed, we are imperfect, and we simply cannot always know “the right thing.” The Hippocratic oath says, “First, do no harm.” Unfortunately, that is often easier said than done, but it should still be the goal and always front of mind. After that, we may recognize that some harm is simply inherent in a given situation and cannot be avoided on the road to right action. For example, someone might have to lose a limb in order to survive a terrible accident or injury. So, the choice is made to sacrifice the limb in favor of life. Later, one may struggle with the possibility that another solution might have been found if the call to action had been delayed just a little longer. This is a dilemma in so many situations. You could think the same thing about a marriage, for example. Was it right to begin the marriage in the first place? Was it right to end it when hurt and disappointment occurred? Did I do everything possible to save the good we had? Did I give up too easily when the going got rough? Did I stay too long when it should have been clear it would never work? Did I refuse to forgive when I could have? Am I truly seeing my own responsibility in the chain of events and “acting accordingly?” Or is my judgment so clouded by my own emotions that I can no longer recognize right action in the circumstance before me? There are so many facets to the elusive yet worthy goal of right action. Every day that we wake up alive, we have the amazing gift of another day and another chance to try our best to get things right. One step forward and one step back. The journey to right action is a long and winding road. We are flawed and we make mistakes. But if we have breath, we have the blessing of yet another chance to try again to get it right.
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Thank you for the kind response to this post. You’re absolutely right about the concept being a tight rope walk, even under the best of circumstances. I’ve found myself saying frequently “tomorrow is another day”, in that yeah, today has been a challenge, but we can try again tomorrow. Really, that’s all we can do, is try our best with what we have at that moment. Hopefully it works out or we grow from the lessons.
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